I want to gently push back on the idea that you need some dramatic eye lock for the soul to ‘activate’ or something.
I think, for some of us, the more intense experiences can come up later on after doing some shadow work (or other inner work at least). We clear old trauma, and learning to regulate our nervous system. My first eye contact was oddly muted, almost like my system numbed itself for protection. Only once I felt safer in my own body did that overwhelming merging feeling show up.
A quiet first look can just mean your energy body is pacing the activation, so you don’t fry your circuits. Maybe like you’ve gone through soul shock in a past life and now your 3D self knows how to react better.
TL;DR: Don’t worry about it if you don’t have some bolt of lightning moment.