I think the “surrender” idea is so misunderstood that it keeps so many people stuck.
People think “surrender” means “forget” or “ignore” your journey. Being in denial about the journey is a sure-fire way to end up in one of two camps.
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Failure to reach union. Most people will get stuck in separation and sit around waiting for the universe to provide. They’ll eventually quit the journey and stay single or settle for something else.
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Endless separation. Some won’t settle, but they’ll spend years in separation, still focused on the wrong things.
@Dasbopster already linked it, but your inner work is the only way you can ever truly surrender and still get your union. Not lying to yourself. Not ignoring the problem and telling yourself that you deserve it, so it will just work out. The only way to really surrender (without giving up) is to do the work.