Detaching completely is really the only way forward. Even though everything in you screams this has to be a romantic connection at first, god, does it scream.
Meeting mine triggered a full kundalini awakening that cracked open ancestral healing patterns I didn’t even know I was carrying (generations of stuff, just… sitting there).
There aren’t stages to force or follow. It just activates your spiritual path. The work you’re doing on yourself is the work, regardless of where they are in their process.
I think trying to help them only makes it worse, unfortunately. A reader I know uses a great phrase about healing in a twin flame or other connection - stay in your own lane.
My DM is shockingly unhealed and he has behaved in toxic and damaging ways to me when I tried to help him. Been there, done that, and got the T-shirt with the emotional and practical scars to prove it. He doesn’t need my healing energy; I do. At the moment he’s large as life and twice as nasty.
We both have parent issues, I believe. I don’t know about his family but his behaviour is similar to a man who has had an overbearing mother and weak father. He is full of rage. My family consisted of a narcissistic mother and a father who alternately leaned on me when she was unavailable and excused her behaviour because he himself had a narcissistic mother and weak father.
It’s a right old mess. To be fair, neither of us are fit to be in any sort of relationship right now. We have a ton of healing to do between us and it’s not over by a long chalk. After the 3D moves he has pulled lately I don’t even want to speak to him for the foreseeable. He has too many wounds that cause him to act unpredictably and make him a big risk not only to my 3D life, but his own as well. In 5D I still feel him at night and quiet times, but that’s the only place I will entertain him and only when I feel receptive.
Stay in your own lane is as good as any advice I have found when it comes to this.
The whole process is basically a masterclass in letting go. Trusting destiny and timing, all of it.
The sooner you release into your own growth and actually work through whatever triggers they bring up, the sooner things start to reveal themselves (at least that’s how it played out for me). You can’t control their awakening. Only time shows you what’s real, and that only happens when you stop trying to force it.
Souls just do this. They send their energy into multiple physical forms at once. That’s all the twin flame thing is, and you’re not even limited to one.
I got a lot of clarity from channeled readings about what was happening in my own connection (which eventually ran its course, but still). Honestly, without living through it myself, I probably wouldn’t have believed any of it either.
But you can stop feeding the chase loop, no checking, no indirect posts or little ‘tests’ to see if they notice. Those always feel like tests even when we tell ourselves they aren’t.