I usually sleep ok but for a while I was wide awake from 2am for an hour or so, feeling him touching me.
I do get very tired at night though and need an early night. And today I was nearly nodding off at my desk as I worked (from home). Had a nap after work. I think it’s all the crazy energy goings on.
the last month yes up til at least 2am but often 3 4 am most nights I feel pretty restless
Mine is too. It’s exhausting really. I just try to say take your time it’s okay. Sometimes I fall back asleep so maybe it works. Who knows?
Same here. I lie next to my husband and stare at the ceiling for hours. The irony isn’t lost on me - I married someone else, thinking it would make things easier, thinking distance and commitment elsewhere would quiet the connection. It didn’t. If anything, the insomnia got worse after my wedding. My body knows it’s lying next to the wrong person, and it won’t let me forget.
Sometimes I think the sleeplessness is my soul’s way of protesting the life I chose. It refuses to fully rest in a reality where I walked away from him.
Why is it this time so normal for TFs? What is it about 3?
I used to think this was just coincidence or some kind of confirmation bias thing where you notice 3 am because people talk about it. But honestly, it’s happened to me too many times now to just brush off. I’ll be dead asleep, nothing wrong, no noise, no reason to wake up, and my eyes just open. Check my phone. 3:something. All the freaking time.
I looked into it from a more grounded perspective and apparently 3-4 am is when cortisol starts rising to prepare your body for waking. So there is a biological explanation. But that doesn’t really explain why it started happening out of nowhere right when she pulled away, or why it comes with this heavy feeling in my chest like someone’s sitting on it.
I’m still not fully on board with the ‘veil thinning’ explanation but I can’t deny that something shifts during those hours. The thoughts about her hit different at 3 am. It’s not the normal missing someone. It’s more like being summoned. I don’t know. A year ago I would have never typed that sentence but here I am.
I remember those early separation nights when I’d wake at the exact same time every night. It felt like our energies were trying to connect even when we couldn’t physically be together.
The insomnia seemed to shift between us as we moved through different phases. When I finally let go of trying to control our connection, my sleep came back while theirs got worse. I don’t really understand it but that’s how it went.