No longer want my Twin Flame

General
1

Has anyone else made the decision to not only walk away but know if they did reach out you wouldn’t go there.

My twin flame keeps coming forward then pulling back again and now he won’t reply to my message. So I’m done I can’t go through this anymore.

He asked 2 months ago when he came back if I wanted friends with benefits as he doesn’t think the chemistry is there for a relationship. I told him if it’s not leading to long term then we’ll remain as friends and he’s run again.

I saw him a month ago and friends and family who were with me said it’s actually creepy how much he kept starring at me. He kept coming over to talk, hug, was very tactile but not heard from him since

For me it’s too hard and I’m worth more than a quickie when he fancies it. Just seeing if anyone else has been through this?

8 Likes
2

Yeah, my situation is quite different, but I feel the same. All former love turned into ehm, absolute disgust and bewilderment at such poor behavior towards me and also others. That was last year, the switch turned very suddenly. Like finally the love for myself outgrew the one for them.

How is your life now? How do you feel about that, and generally? About dating others even?

For me it was like suddenly being bewildered about my own former behavior and the whole dynamic.

At the same time my old life completely deconstructed, again. I do feel a bit in a dead end, because I still get the constant reminders by the universe, so feel like I can’t get a breather or distraction and I kind of just feel exhausted and mocked by them by now, and like I don’t even like this other person anymore.

Interestingly, this happened when I felt I got very close to manifesting reunion, and then I just flipped. I do not know how to forgive so much cowardness of the other person and for messing up this story so much, all while theoretically knowing, I have to actually forgive myself for not knowing better. But I am angry such a loser took so much of my energy and time, basically. At the same time, my whole mindset and life are turned inside out. I feel the whole thing is also about changing collective themes, including the whole tf stories of “it has to be hard”. I think that’s not actually true anymore.

For me, it’s been a year switching from leaving them behind and still feeling tied. But I would prefer a completely new person, with beautiful fresh energy and positive intensity. I do think it is our choice on a very deep level. At the same time, I realized in horror how much I have been trained to accept breadcrumbs and overgive with other people as well.

But one thing to mention, I feel like the joy and energy has been cut from me, I used to have a lot of energy and positive vibes and feel very drained now. Could be because life also threw me a lot of curveballs. He seems to be depressive, maybe he dragged me down where before I was immune and kept trying to lift him up??

1 Like
3

I’ve been exactly where you are. My twin did the hot and cold dance for over a year, showing up, making me hope we were progressing, then poof, gone. It messes with your head.

Your twin’s running from himself. You mirror back all his unhealed stuff, insecurities and fears he’s avoided. He’s terrified that if you see the real him, you won’t love it. Vulnerability feels like weakness to him, so he ghosts and pulls back. He cares too much, and it overwhelms him.

You’re worth more than a quickie. Hang in there.

3 Likes
4

Self-love matters, which so many DFs struggle with (myself very much included). The runner-chaser dynamic has a way of triggering your deepest wounds, stuff you didn’t even know was there… and sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is just choose yourself. Not easy though.

2 Likes
5

Yes. It’s possible to reach that place of peace, just knowing your worth. It takes time (probably more than you want it to), but you can get to a point where you’re choosing yourself first.

1 Like
6

I hear you I know the feeling of despair and wanting the constant pull to go away.

My TF doesn’t drain me of energy, in fact I feel more motivated thinking about him but I have to think about myself

If my TF comes back and really proves he’s done the work I may reconsider but for now I am content just being my own person

2 Likes
7

Surrendering. That’s the word. It feels like that pull toward focusing on yourself instead of chasing is the actual energy shift.

3 Likes
8

Stick to your guns. Union builds when both heal separately.

1 Like
9

I had a similar experience of feeling like my TF just wanted one thing, while still living a single life (and I didn’t know), and it really changed my perspective. I don’t KNOW his truth, but the surface indicates he’s avoidant, unaccountable, and not willing to show up. Then his silence to my Q’s on his dating status forced me to place a boundary between me and this True Love I gave all to for so long, and look into what I wanted for myself and to hold true to that line no matter how much I loved him. And honestly, those boundaries help their own journey move forward too, wherever it leads.

As you become surrender, you begin to realize they do not align with the person you’re becoming yet. I still want my TF more than anything, though :heart:! He is, and forever will be, my true love. I just want my own peace and happiness MORE now.

Part of me will always hope he decides to dive into his own journey and meet me in this beautiful, blissful, loving space I’m creating for myself in my new life.

3 Likes
10

Surrender is powerful, but I’ve seen so many on this path call their pain “surrender” when they’re really just stuck in no contact, hoping the universe drops their twin back in. True surrender has zero expectations. You could fully surrender and still never union in this lifetime, and that has to feel genuinely okay, not just spiritually correct.

1 Like
11

I am in the process of surrendering. Yes I’d love for him to come back but the way it has been. He has to really want it this time otherwise I’m happier on my own.

He messaged a few times last week in reply to my messages but only light surface conversation so yesterday I didn’t reply I just put a heart emoji against his messages and left it at that so I don’t keep being drawn in to his push pull behaviour.

now I need to start my life without him. I survived before I knew him (even though I used to dream about him in the 3 years leading up to when we met) and I’ll survive again without him

4 Likes
12

That connection doesn’t just disappear. Even when you stop chasing, it’s still sitting there. Walking away doesn’t break the bond, you’re just choosing yourself over the chaos.

1 Like