It would be nice if more runners shared their experiences and stories so we could understand them better.
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This really connects with ‘The Power of Now.’ That whole concept of presence over pursuit. Have you read it?
The way you describe runners feeling that energetic shift when chasers come home to themselves, that’s exactly what Tolle talks about with authentic presence being magnetic. It just naturally happens when you stop chasing and actually arrive in yourself (which is harder than it sounds, obviously)
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I chose myself over my family’s approval. They disowned me for leaving a marriage where I had actually considered ending my life rather than getting a divorce. Walking away from all of that brought me closer to union with my twin and helped me become a better parent.
I think we all know we’re supposed to release and we’re supposed to not care and trust the journey but that is probably the same as a runner knowing they’re supposed to not run. Can’t help it.
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Yes, it hurts like crazy at first, but turning inward and directing the love towards yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself. Loving yourself is the thing that attracts the divine masculine back into your life. Separation can be the best thing to happen to your connection if you let it.
This is exactly the kind of story that gives me so much hope for everyone on this journey. You found each other after decades of pain and marriages that dimmed your light. You still recognized each other. Spirit moved heaven and earth to bring you two together at exactly the right time, and it didn’t do all of that just to let it fall apart permanently.
I know how I feel when people push too much towards me. I try really hard not to. But our love for our counterpart burns so intensely sometimes it’s hard not to self-abandon… which I’m working on. But it’s hard to tell him no when he comes back in.
That’s what I keep telling myself! It’s still so difficult to stay positive when I have no idea what’s happening on his side…
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My advice of what to DO when they run?
Don’t DO anything if it feel like you are “trying” to DO something. Follow your instinct instead which will feel more natural. It may tell you to do the “wrong thing”, maybe chase harder, contact too much, etc. But you should do that thing in my opinion. Why? Because if you feel you must TRY to not chase, then you aren’t healed enough yet to become the embodiment of a Stayer (no longer chaser). You can’t DO “staying”. You can only BE “staying”. It will feel natural after the healing is done to not follow after them. Less painful. More trusting in the process after the brutal healing phases.
TF journeys IMO are akin to the most extreme dance possible between an anxious and avoidant individual. So you could try not to ACT anxious when they run, maybe that will even pull them back after they feel there is nothing to avoid. You may think that means you did something “right”. But nothing underneath has been healed, you’ve just reset the next anxious/avoidant loop. They’ll run again the instant anything becomes “real” or dips underneath their mask in any way.
For me I had to pour everything out at him repeatedly, be ignored repeatedly, experience where the deep pain originated (as the triggering from their running is your guide in all this), actively do the healing work, and eventually you just feel…okay when they run. Still in pain I’m sure, but you stop feeling the need to react to it. Essentially, I had to “chase” until I had exhausted every single one of my anxious survival responses and proven none of them worked, and heal each one.
It takes awhile. But my suggestion is to pay more attention to where it hurts when they run, rather than what you should DO in reaction when they run 
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Just wanted to say nice to see you again, @StarGirl. Hope you’ve been well
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Thank you for the insight
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Hi, it’s nice to to see you too 
Still kickin’ just hit super intense phase of this journey and it flipped my entire reality upside down, lol. I look forward to updating soon, I’ve learned so much.
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I hear what you are saying. Very reflective. I think though, that all you talked about applies to both chaser and runner. The runner has also to do the work and both parties need to stop projecting their fear on each other. I’m a chaser and not interested in a runner that himself (my runner is a man) hasn’t done the work, but have no problem telling me what I should do to calm his fears.
The question we should be asking ourself is, do we want our runner back or do we want a healed person back? Personally I prefer the healed person. It will not matter how much work I have done and how considerate I am of my runners fears, because if both parties have not done the necessary work, their will not be any healthy twin-flame réunion and relationship.
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