Each stage seems to activate a different inner child wound, at least in my experience. The honeymoon phase brought up my abandonment fears from childhood. Separation triggered every rejection wound I’d buried. I genuinely think the stages exist to surface these childhood patterns so we can finally parent ourselves through them. The process helped me reconnect with my five-year-old self, who never felt chosen.
It’s funny.
TFs are built to break the rules, live outside the norms, yet everyone is looking for stages and steps and should’s. Do what you feel. If you know, you know. If you don’t, you don’t.
The initial stage was depleting and full of anxiety, but now it is sweet, warm and welcomed. It is no longer a chase but accepting fully that it exists beyond any logic. All resistance dropped
I’m in the “Holy shit! Nobody warned me about this stuff!” stage. Is that one?
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There are no set stages. There is no owner’s manual.
We are all on a journey that is our own. I do not compare mine to others. i am where I am and I am exactly where I am meant to be in this moment. That’s where I am!
For me there’s been a very specific ‘integration but not reunion’ stage. I’m not ready because my nervous system still reads them as a threat, not safety.
I need to be able to hold my own ground without getting pulled into their patterns. Otherwise, any reunion would just recreate the same old dynamics. So I’m letting this phase take as long as it takes.
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Between surrender and union…I never felt so calm and prepared now. Soon…
Surrender and inner union. Where you no longer care what’s coming and what’s not. You are okay with yourself and learning to move forward alone, no matter what will happen next.