Turns out I was very close friends with his brother, but his brother mostly knew me by my nickname and never thought to connect the dots, so when they both invited me to a family get-together (not knowing we all knew each other), it was pretty weird.
Perhaps.. I really can’t remember what the lyrics are, like a wish, a plea, or a desire to go back. There’re a lot of song about separation, about going back together, but other than the lyrics, I think we catch the nuance of the song more. If there’s any way we could go back again, it’s something that I ask myself, too. A year ago I’ll say, of course I’m going back, of course we’re meant to be. But, now, I don’t have the answer yet. I’m still pondering on how I could forgive him, not because he is my TF so I should forgive, but because I don’t want to be burdened again by that feeling. Still, I don’t have any idea how. So, the lyrics hit the right spot, maybe for both of us.
I’d be driving and suddenly feel his presence so strongly, and within seconds his team’s logo would show up on a license plate frame or an angel number, and a song he’d sent me would start playing from nowhere. Not even on my playlist.
Crazy how fast the universe can respond sometimes.
I was sitting there asking for a sign that I was on the right path with my creative work, feeling pretty low about it, and within a minute, my twin literally walked across the street from me, and neither of us lived/worked anywhere near there. No normal reason to be on that street at all.
I see the 11:11s all the time or 111.. some of it is humorous at this point. But I still don’t know if I’m going insane or not.. because I’ve never had any confirmation of any of it.. I mean there were some things that happened in person before we were separated that really made me think it wasn’t just me.. things that they did specifically.. but we never had a direct conversation about any of it because it wouldn’t really be appropriate given the circumstances. It’s just so weird.. even when I make playlists about how I’m feeling sometimes the list will have a duration of 1:11 and I’m like.. what?! Or without even trying the inside joke we had will be a part of the numbers on my list, and it happens on their end too (not deliberately or maybe deliberately).. I can’t really tell. I just know it has happened a lot over the course of the past 5-6 months. I am trying to just let go of it completely because I keep telling myself there’s no point because they’re not available and we can’t even talk about it.. but it has been soo incredibly difficult to try to forget about it.. like no other connection from before this.
He and I have the same oddly specific way of holding sandwiches. He noted this 20 years ago after we met when he saw me eating a sandwich (putting your pinky on the other side so it’s more of a ‘clamp’, keeping the tasty innards in place)
He was like “What are you doing?!?!”
I thought it was a BIZARRE coincidence at the time. Now I see it was more than that, lol. I reminded him about it a couple years back and he said he didnt remember…
or that maybe he thought I was making fun of him. Not that I legit did the same thing. But to this day, I havent seen another person use the same method for holding sandwiches, lol
Life tries to teach us sometimes. I once took a random side street on my way to work, just to clear my head, and there he was, sitting on a bench, reading a book. We hadn’t planned it at all. Instead of freaking out, I just smiled politely and walked away feeling humbled.
Carl Jung call these “meaningful coincidences.” I try to stay grateful and see them as little reminders of the bigger picture. The more I stay present and honest with myself, the more these little signs seem to show up.