Quick question first. When you say you want it to be their turn, do you mean you want them to finally “feel the pain” or do you want proof the connection was never one-sided?
And be honest with yourself there. Because for me, those felt like the same thing at first. They aren’t. And it’s very, very different energy. One had me checking for signs constantly (every song, every number, you know how it goes), and the other made me ask what kind of contact or silence I could actually live with. Very different roads.
Also curious about the replay loop. Does it get worse after dates because the new person contrasts with your twin, or because dating itself feels like performing ‘normal’ while your energy is still parked somewhere else? Not judging. I did the exact same thing for a long time.
This many years later I finding kinda funny! I don’t remember how I moved out of that pain, I had every distraction available to me. I finally met my soulmate/partner and entered into a relationship, and that’s when my TF started chasing, and I ran, would not talk to him, etc. But as the runner and in a relationship not with my TF I can say, I thought about him constantly, dreaming about him, fantasizing about him, trying by to find information on what he was doing, knowing I wouldn’t act on it! His presence in my subconscious lost the painful aspect and became a kind of security blanket.