I’ve never loved anyone else. Nothing even close. Can’t imagine trying to move on from them any more than I’d move on from breathing.
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I don’t think you ever fully move on. My first instinct is still to reach out before catching myself. Little reminders pop up constantly - a song, something someone says, a random moment that brings them flooding back. It’s always the small things, but my instinct sometimes is I want to share my thoughts on something with them. I want to share big things, like when life goes well, or small things, like a new coffee bean in our local cafe.
I’ve stopped fighting the fact that they’ll always be there in some corner of my mind. That acceptance made everything easier.
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You’ll never fully cut that cord. The energy between you stays. “Moving on” just means you learn to work with that connection differently.
When he pops into your energy field (and he will), you learn to shift from head to heart space. You figure out how to respond to it without losing yourself in it again. Can you become so whole within yourself that their presence in your energy no longer destabilizes you? That’s the work. That’s what separation is actually for.
If they return, they meet a completely different version of you. One with boundaries. One who found the love they were seeking externally, within themselves. I still hold unconditional love for my DM without needing him back. That’s what moving on looks like for me, anyway.
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You can still live fully and find joy, but you don’t move on in the same way as you would with a normal relationship. Don’t compare other connections to your TF experience. That comparison trap keeps you stuck.
Try approaching life with curiosity and lightness. See it as play, as experimenting. Your inner child needs that permission to explore without judgment. Find purpose. Pour everything you have into this world. That’s where the healing lives.
Y’know, my grandmother always said ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ and I think that applies here. The pain fades and life genuinely does move on… but you don’t forget.
What gave me hope recently was meeting someone in an acting class. Eyes met, lightning strike moment, that magnetic pull we both tried to ignore. Nothing came of it (too young, different lifestyles), but it proved something to myself: I can still feel that spark with someone new.
It wasn’t the same. Like comparing a bonfire to a match. But still, it’s something.
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If it’s like “Oh, they’re cute!” I can do it. But I still can’t imagine anyone else in my future.
Anyway, currently seeing if I can "move on” (externally). I’m only 26 now and not long ago I’ve been introduced to someone. His parents like me. I don’t feel any spark yet (this is like what? A month?)… but if this get-to-know phase could change me for the better in the meantime, sure.
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Dont think so its been over 15 years and still as strong as ever
Some things are just meant to be integrated into your growth, not left behind.
Like instead of asking ‘can I forget about them’ - maybe it’s more about how you evolve alongside this connection existing. Takes some pressure off. The goal can be transformation rather than erasure.
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