The clarity I got during my own experience was that they need to feel alone so they can learn to lean on themselves and the Divine. That’s the whole point of this phase. Let them know you’re there once, then genuinely step back and hold space from a distance. When I tried to stay close anyway, the ghosting that followed just confirmed what I already knew. This is their work to do.
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Last night I kept trying to do all the spiritual bypassing stuff when I was missing my twin, showing gratitude and staying high vibe, but what actually shifted everything was just screaming into a pillow, “I’m fucking tired of being alone.”
The shadow wants to feel. It wants permission to be angry and sad without us immediately trying to transmute it into something lighter.
Once I stopped trying to console my inner child with affirmations and just let her rage, cry, and say the ugly things, I felt more seen by myself than any amount of 5D work ever gave me. That’s what DNOTS is asking for, finally going down into the dark and holding what’s been waiting there.
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I think it’s all about ego death. My twin struggles with severe anxiety and depression, and watching them and myself go through this dismantling of everything we thought we were is brutal. The mental health stuff gets so tangled up with the spiritual stuff that I can’t always tell what’s what anymore.
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Oh wait, there are actually different types of dark nights? Did not know that. Does anyone know what they are?
I’ve been assuming everyone goes through the same thing… maybe that’s why the advice feels so contradictory. We’re all talking about different experiences without realizing it?
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Please don’t let anyone in your life downplay this as ‘just a soulmate breakup.’ Soulmate connections don’t trigger this level of nervous system collapse or kundalini activity.
I’m so tired of people lumping them together. The energetic signature is completely different.
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They call it a night but to me it seems more like a period in your life, I don’t think anyone gets through this in just a single night.
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Track your cycle or moon phases against your DNOTS waves. Mine got worse around new moons and ovulation. It was a weird pattern but consistent. Also keep a symptom log separate from your journal, like physical pains or dream themes. The food aversions sound random but they lined up too.
When you notice the same pain moving from your throat to your sacral to your heart, you can watch the clearing happen in real time. It makes it feel less random.
I’m going through DNOTS just now and not sure what I’m doing in life. Getting majorly triggered by my mother wound, her prejudices are showing up in a lot of people I walk past and I’m feeling so guilty just seeing people who are different. Also she knows I’ve changed as do other family and friends. It’s really hard. I’ve not been at the office for a month and a bit worried about going back, all the noise and people is going to be tough.
But I’m getting there slowly, just taking it as it comes. And I’m stopping giving a shit about what people think of me, putting in boundaries and doing more of what I want. Just need time to move forward and work things out. Good luck to you all.
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I’m just curious to know what you mean by “people I walk past”?
I have felt for a long time that almost exact copies of my parents keep showing up in my life. It has happened at work, on social media… you name it. The women have the same cold, vindictive, childish envy of my mother, and the men the same victim mentality and hypersensitive ego of my father.
Not sure if this is the same thing you’re referring to above or something completely different 
What you said just caught my eye and I wanted to ask about it.
nothing prepared me for the pain of dealing with my real unhealed twin.
OMG, this. I lost my husband and soulmate to cancer just under a year before my twin flame awakening began. The pain of that is indescribable; and it’s what triggered the next phase of my life, which began with my spiritual and TF awakenings. I wouldn’t have had either of those if I hadn’t been brought to my knees by widowhood. And two years later I united with my twin in the same physical space for the first time in our nearly decade-long friendship, and the next phase of my DNOTS began. He even prophesied it for me, telling me I was about to go through trials that would take me to my lowest point (and would then bring powerful gifts if I persisted through it), and although I believed what he was saying, a big part of me was like “yeah, but it won’t be my lowest point, because I’ve already bloody been there.”
He was right. Everything he said to me happened, and it was in fact already beginning. It did indeed take me to my lowest point. The pain of bereavement was, I know, part of that… it was that ultimate point of reaching the end of my rope after everything I’d been through. But the depth of the DNOTS itself came directly from intense trials that my twin himself was going through and the recognition that he still had so much healing left to do and that he was not ready to recognise the depth and truth of our connection. The process of reaching my lowest point began almost exactly a year ago and lasted for two months, but when I finally hit rock bottom it was a very definite Dark Night moment that absolutely dismantled me. Even in the depths of grief I was never truly suicidal, but this took me there. I was astonished to be in that place, but I was just done. Utterly broken by this journey, questioning my beliefs and my sanity and everything I thought was true about the Universe and my place in it. It took a hell of a lot to get me there, but when I arrived at that true DNOTS I realised I didn’t have to keep going. I could just quit.
And that was the ultimate turning point for me on this journey. I somehow made it through the abyss, through the lowest couple of days of my life, and realised I could give up or I could surrender. As I started to come through it I received a powerful message telling me this is where I had to let go and start to trust, and in that moment I realised true trust meant real surrender. I’d thought I was trusting, but without that surrender I wasn’t.
That was the most powerful point on this whole path for me. It changed everything; it threw my spiritual connection wide open again, it brought me incredible gifts, it brought people who have been instrumental to my growth, it took me to shadow work I absolutely needed, it led to me embracing this transformation and knowing that whatever happens for me and my twin, that transformation is the whole point.
My Dark Night of the Soul was horrible. I never, ever want to be in that place again. But it was absolutely critical to my path, it did (as my TF prophesied) bring me incredible gifts, and I am ultimately deeply grateful for having been through it.
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So my mother is quite racist and we live in a predominantly white country but more black and Asian people around these days and she always comments on them. Or just on peoples appearances, facial appearance, what they’re wearing etc. And I’ve been feeling guilty just noticing them. Like what my mother would think pops into my head straight away.
I’m also going through mental health problems following my awakening, been hearing voices constantly and unable to sleep so getting help for that. Really not good hoping it gets resolved soon.