Thank you. Before and even after realising he was my twin, I cried about it multiple times. Not just because it was humiliating, but because it echoed a deep wound that happened with my parents. My mother had narcissistic traits and my father accommodated her in ways that he had done with his own mother (the same kind of woman), half leaving me out in the cold and half leaning on me to cope with her emotional unavailability.
I feel as if my twin has dealt with similar women in his life and is both currently giving me the raw deal that my dad did, plus being suspicious and terrified that I might be the same kind of woman (I’m not). I feel sad that we’ve both obviously been treated this way in our lives to have got to this point and wish there was some way I could prove to my twin that I’m not that sort of person. I guess he has to do his healing for himself, though.
. These are my emojis that kind of show you how I feel because I have no idea how I feel. I asked him outright if he was lying to me if he was indeed having another baby with her and I had to sit down and hear him lied to me and say no he hasn’t been with her for years and blah blah blah. But I know he’s lying because I know him better than he knows himself and he knows that. He knows I know him he knows that he says things that piss me off he knows that I can see right through him he knows all of that because he knows I know him better than anyone else. Kilos I know him better than he knows himself. Of course he has deflected everything on me of course it is my thought that I think that of course it is my thought that maybe she’s even pregnant and even though he doesn’t want to say that of course it is all my thought that I feel the way that I do because this is how he deals with the 3D physical realm. Just when I thought that everything was just hunky dory and we were gonna ride off into the sunset and be in reunion and being loving get married and settle down and don’t get me wrong I knew that he wanted to have another child and I’ve always known it and my intuition has been throwing it at me for the last couple of months but I just haven’t been listening to her I haven’t been listening because I didn’t want to hear it and even though I know it when it happens nothing prepares you for it. It’s like he literally gave me all the love that I was beginning to feel like it was in the beginning when we were in the honeymoon period for those beautiful couple of months that you get before the DNOTS literally kick you in your teeth and drag you kicking and screaming into this amazing spiritual life that you are going to have and this spiritual being you are going to become. For all of you who know this journey of what I’m saying you know what I’m talking about and for those who haven’t got there yet be prepared because nothing is as easy as it seems. I thought we’ve made it I’m not going to throw myself into that chaotic sea and try and save him I am going to just be me and observe what is happening and stay in my lighthouse of light which is no longer built on sand but is on solid ground and I am going to bring as many people as I can home with me too my God our Father who is the best thing that ever happened to me and even through all of this will always be the best thing that ever happened to me because I am in love with Jesus and it’s that part of me that feeling love with the love of my life in this physical realm because there is a Jesus part of him that he just does not know about or even if he doesn’t know which I think he does he is just too scared to live in so he just carries on in this crazy 3D illusion temporary fix that he just loves and he just continues to take the blue pill when I have clearly taken the red pill and now my life is true and Jesus is the way the truth and the life and I totally accept that and understand it and love my life and love me and love myself for the person I am and love everything about me and I am so happy in that and nothing will change it nothing not even this news. And you know why that is because I have Risen I am on a different frequency I am no longer on the same trajectory as him I am on the path that God has set for me and God is telling me to not move and not change and not do anything other than love myself and continue to love him but in the 5D. My higher self is in love with his higher self and we are together in reunion but not here not in the 3D I don’t even think that will ever happen because I am not going to chase him or chase that or chase anything anymore. All he had to do was say to me yes she’s pregnant I want her to have a baby because I want our child to be of the same parentage which is kind of what we had a conversation about earlier in our relationship but he always maintained that he did not want to have another child and I said to myself don’t talk rubbish because you are in your 20s and you know at the end of the day things change and these things happen and if I were with him in this way and we split up I would want our children to have him as the father not least because he is a good father and a good dad and everyone deserves to have what they want in this 3D world but not to the detriment of just total lies and if he had told me that they were having another child before they were gonna go through it I might have thought differently about this and I might have said to myself you know what Donna you can’t wait till you die for him to be in another situation because that’s not how life is but of course that’s my fairy tale I wanted him to be another father and I wanted him to have all those things with someone else but not while I was still living in the 3D I had already made up my mind that I would be gone and he would carry on without me but he would still love me and feel me which is still the case it’s just that I wasn’t prepared for this bombshell right now. Then again when would I have been prepared for it because life doesn’t work like that does it? Life in the 3D is just one great big chaotic joke and test and a test of your faith and it’s an illusion and a video game and it is literally like living that film The Matrix and you just keep taking the blue pill until one day you die and then you go through judgment and then you go to the pits of hell unless you repent. So in my 5D absolute bliss of life I had this fairytale view of what was going to happen to us and of course the 3D darkness of Life said no that’s not gonna happen because your test of faith is gonna start all over again just when you think that you are on the right path to love with this man,the ultimate goal to the reunion, the everything, the ego comes back and says I need to cleanse you of everything so you need to know the truth and the truth is everything that you have been feeling everything that your intuition has been throwing at you even through all of his lies even through everything that he says to you which is just a complete and total bag of crap guess what your intuition is completely right and no matter how you try and look at it like you don’t believe it because he says don’t be silly I’ve not been with her for years and I haven’t seen her for months even though he saw her three weeks ago which he seems to have forgotten he told me and that’s just on top of all the other shit that he goes through in his crappy 3D life I now have to take this news into my own 3D crappy life but I refuse to let it derail me and I refuse to let it hurt my heart to the point where I feel like it’s going to break because I no longer feel that for him anymore. I no longer come from a place of low self-esteem because of rape and child abuse at the hands of my stepfather and also my own mother I no longer come from a place of pain and suffering and anger and anxiety and selling myself short to make it myself shrink to fit his crazy toxic world and my mother’s. I no longer feel any of that because I am grounded and anchored in my lighthouse of light and to most people in the 3D I am going to sound like some crazy person who needs a head read but in all honesty I love this man with every single part of my being and if this is what he wants for his life I give him love and I sent him on his way but I am no longer part of his 3D world and not because I don’t want to be because everything in my body is screaming stay with him he needs you he wants you and all this sort of stuff it’s like what are you doing just don’t leave him I can hear him saying it to me but I’m not leaving him and I want him to know that I never left him I’ve always been with him because I love him unconditionally but now I am no longer here with him in the 3D I am with my divine team including his Divine higher self my divine masculine who I love in the 5D but I have gone from being this blind little puppy that followed him around and just held on his every word and just saw nothing but good in him I have left that behind me now and I no longer hurt in a way that used to break me and whilst I’m crying and whilst I’m praying and whilst I’m hurting in some weird kinds of low frequency level I no longer feel any of what he is saying to me as anything of relevance because he is living this temporarily illusion based materialistic ego based life and I am not part of that I have moved on to this higher frequency on a level on a completely different level I have become new and I have become and empress. 4 years to the day that we met God bought me home proper. Of course my divine family new what was going to happen because the path that God has set for me this is part of that along with all the other 3D illusions and painful ego driven things that are going to happen in my life but God knew that this was going to hurt me more than anything else and so he brought me home just so that I don’t have to feel it or go through it and trust me when I tell you whilst I feel it in my 3D physical self I do not feel it at all because my 5D higher self has protected me from so much and it’s protecting me now. There is so much more to my life that I could share with you but you would have to sit there for 30 years and let me go through all and I’m sure you all are going through your own things because every twin flame situation is unique and mine beggars believe sometimes but so do all of ours. So the first time I actually blocked him but not because I I am worried that I will continue to feel the need to chase him and contact him because nothing could be further from the truth I am more about just closing it really and not allowing him to contact me because he will be back like he always is he will be begging for money he will be begging for something he will be begging for me because he feels me so greatly and whilst he is not ready and he’s overwhelmed by all I am not carrying him anymore so he can sod off. I think what hurts me the most is that I feel disappointed in him because he could have told me he could have let me down gently but instead I am just been punched to the ground and kicked again and he wants to carry on with that same old loop of karmic crap but that’s not happening to me anymore he can no longer drag me but I my hair out of that cave like the the Neanderthal he is I mean is it really bad that I actually love that about him because he is my emperor in the 5D and he has on his armor and his lights and he is a giant just like me and we are glorious together but only in the 5D in the 3D he is just this pitiful little man that is going nowhere with his life and that is fine because the baby mother and he can go through all of that together and I wish them both luck but unfortunately my time with him in the 3D has ended and I am not prepared to let him feel like he can drag me anywhere because he can’t anymore I am a union with my divine family through Jesus Christ who saved my life who gave me life who gave me truth and who is with me 100% in all of my life whether it be here in the 3D or home in the 5D but I am a new person. My dreams of Jesus the butterflies the Mexican Day of The dead celebration that I dreamt in Thailand when we were together all of these things that have led up to that alone show me that I am a different person because those butterflies when I ran into Jesus’s arms and he tell me I was blessed among other things which I can’t remember but no that he is the love of my life and I am in love with him both here in the 3D and the 5D and Jesus has saved my life and God my Father has bought me home. For all of you suffering out there you know this baby situation has really showed me just how far I have come because honestly if I’d have got this news a couple of months ago I probably would have wanted to die here in this 3D but the strangest thing about it all is it makes me want to live in my faith even more and it is the most beautiful gift that I could ever have had because my twin flame divine masculine is not enough for me he is not good enough for me here in this 3D and I feel sad for him that he cannot feel or experienced the love that he is destined to experience he is destined for because it will happen whether I’m alive here or not it will happen and when it does honestly he is going to rejoice in it because we are a power couple we are just not a power couple where I wanted us to be which is in the 3D in the 3D he thinks that he’s the best thing since sliced bread in reality he’s just a total failure and he just can’t see it and that’s not me coming from bitterness or malice and even though it sounds like that and even to me I have to say this to you because I don’t feel that I don’t want to feel that I won’t feel that but what I do feel is that he is missing the biggest picture of his life which is the best thing he could ever go through and it is really hurting me as to know what this means for our journey because I am done right here right now with trying to decipher what God has in store for me and I think this is his way of saying to me you have been trying to see the outcome that you have to leave it to us because no matter what the situation is you will be victorious and so I leave it to my Lord and I just enjoy my life here in the 3D and live my life until I go home for real. It’s OK because I’m okay because I no longer feel things the way I used to. I no longer feel anger anxiety fear pain nothing in this world can hurt me because God says if I am for you then no one else can hurt you no one else can do anything to you and it is so true. I am now a spiritual being living a physical life and it is a gift and I am so grateful and I no longer have to do anything because I know that he will be back and he will start to chase me and that is where my decision as to where we go forward on this journey will lie and that is because I know that I am risen and I am an empress and he will feel my empress energy and he will feel that I am gone. He will still feel me through our invisible chord don’t get me wrong we have a bond and it will always be there and I can feel that and that is the one thing that is the most beautiful thing in this twin fame journey and that is you get to love that person unconditionally with everything that you are without even having to know them in the physical world or to be part of their physical world you just get to love them just like I love Jesus in my side in my body in my everything in all of me because even though I cannot see him or touch him he comes to me in dreams he comes to me in ways that I never expected and he comes to me through my divine masculine even though my divine masculine has no idea who he is not right now but he will do. At that point I don’t know if it’s going to be too late for us or if we will reach reunion or if we will have to go through another lifetime of this rubbish that hurts too much but I gotta tell you guys I don’t think I’ve ever felt so happy in my life despite this awful disappointing news for me but it is only disappointing for me not for the mother of his child and not for their relationship and I give God thanks for the fact that he is even in that position if that is definitely the case which I think it is because a child is a blessing and even though I wasn’t able to keep my babies or have my babies or even have a baby with him at least he’s able to do that and being a place that makes him happy and trust me what I’m saying to is breaking my little heart but only because of my eGo saying there you go you will never good enough for him because you’re not even able to have his child and that is what my eGo is telling me that’s what the darkness is telling me but deep down inside I know that it’s only telling me that because it’s fighting it’s fighting to keep me in the darkness but it’s too late because my soul my light is already in heaven and unfortunately this was the last ditch attempt at my eGo at the darkness tried to bring me back home to the 3D but I have news for you my eGo I left you a long time ago I just didn’t know it and God confirmed that the day that Jesus rose again and so nothing can touch me and it doesn’t even matter what my eGo tries to threat me through the darkness it’s never going to penetrate who I am because I know who I am and I am who I am just like Jesus says just like he says I am the most amazing wonderful fantastic beautiful person I know and everybody that comes into my life sees that too and these are the people that see the light in me and don’t get me wrong my divine masculine sees it too but the thing is the mirror is now being held up to him and he doesn’t like what he sees. It scares him and overwhelms him and he kind of likes the ego and all the rubbish that comes with the 3D round so I leave him to it and I carry on in my light in my joy in my absolute transformation of beauty and wonderment and the most amazing feeling anyone could ever get when they get to this point and believe me to inflate if you persevere you will get there too whatever your 3D divine masculine throws at you. They’re just not ready. Blessed be 
