It might seem obvious, but one of the most exhausting aspects of this for me is holding the disparity between my twin’s 3D and 5D behaviour in my mind constantly.
On another post on here someone responded that you can’t always fully trust what your twin says or does in 3D. That struck home forcefully. He does things that look very careless and ego-driven sometimes, that look like sabotage of me and/or my career.
When these happen, my thought process goes back and forth like a pinball machine. Angry and sad at what he did, followed by what is it mirroring in me, then oh in 5D he really loves you at a soul level, and finally, but in 3D you can’t really trust him so he’s still a jerk for doing it. It literally makes my head ache.
It would be irritating after I’ve been through so much just to get settled at this company over the last three years and things are starting to balance out job-wise, but I have thought of looking elsewhere again to have a break from his 3D influence, not to give up on the journey as such. I am torn between am I supposed to stick it out, is this a personal lesson in persistence, or am I hanging around in a situation I should be leaving and not putting up with BS from the twin flame perspective.
I would like to attempt to advise you on the best course of action, but I believe the truth is you and the Universe already know the answers to all your questions-it’s just that (perhaps) your spiritual level isn’t that high as to grasp them all along. This is why I would recommend you meditation and inner work centered around the ability of your Soul to extract information from your subconsciousness and the Universe in general. Let me be more clear.
I believe we are all connected to the information grid of the Universe-call it any way you wish but that means we have (if advanced enough spiritually) access to all the knowledge of the Universe if we only wish to do so. The problem is some of that knowledge is actually extremely poisonous to us and our Souls-there are indeed things we don’t wish to know in the first place but could prove invaluable for our spiritual journey and growth. What the Universe does, and here is the entire trick to all that “spiritual stuff”, is to mix up things we wish to know with things we really really really never have wished to know in separate portions together, so if you really wish to know something deep about you you must also learn to recognize and get a hold of things you wish you have never known. This is the true meaning of “Know thyself.” in my mind. So, if you are really on a spiritual path and want to know more about the situation you are in look at those things you never have wished to know and learn how to see the unseen there. That is the best advice you can get. I think.
What all of that above means to you personally @Galina is you must learn to see the whole picture of your situation and I don’t think you are capable of that right now. You must ask the Universe, God, or whatever you call the infinite universal spirit binding us all, to reveal you all the truth about the situation you are in. And that won’t be achieved easily. Basically, you must develop the ability to see through space, time, souls and all the barriers to your Soul to get the information about the questions you are now asking. You must have the stamina to go through past lives regressions (better autoregressions), future lives sessions, spiritual guardians contacts and most of all-to have the courage to dig deep, very deep into your Soul to reach out the information that you really need to know the real situation you are in. And all that will drive you crazy-I can guarantee about it. Imagine yourself getting visions about your and his past, present and future, imagine talking to your guardians for directions as to what you should do, and most of all imagine trying to telepathically drill a hole into your Twin’s soul in order to extract the information you need to center yourself in this situation. If you are unable to go through all that growth process you will likely be in distress for many more years. But if you go through all that you may go crazy in the process, for real. But that is the price one must pay for having all the information one needs. So, choose carefully what do you want-to remain afloat at your current level of development and pursue your own goals in this life, or to risk your sanity to actually navigate yourself in such a way to make this relationship work, to discover your inner selves (both of you), and to have the life you really dreamt for? Only you know the answer to this question.
Thank you for responding to my post. It’s very true that only I can answer the questions and decide what to do.
I have sought some guidance just yesterday, and what I received back since my original post has confirmed some of the intuitions I’ve had in a less overwhelmed state of mind. That is encouraging and gives hope that I am on the right track. I need to tune out distracting noise and listen to what really matters for growth and progress. No mean feat but have got this far at least, right?
Thanks for the response, too. I’m glad if I had helped you somewhat in some way. Yes, I believe you are right to trust your own intuition about this thing and never let anyone else from the outside take decisions for you. You must protect your freedom in these regards from everyone’s intervention. That said, however, if I could advise you something that would be to try, at least, to up your spiritual level so you can see through the bonds that are making your connection with your Twin Flame impossible. You need to be able to look at the reality as it is, not some version of it imagined to fit in your desires. That, however, requires a ton of inner work and the only thing I can recommend you is to start as soon as possible. If you can do that, may be, there is a chance for you to get the information needed to make this decision. But I severely doubt anyone could give you a ready advice as to how to proceed. That would hardly be a matter that could be resolved with only one tarot reading or something like that. In order to get the information you need to make your choice you need access to your previous lives information, your future ones, his state of consciousness and a ton of other information that comes only after a lot lots and lots of inner work and slowly accumulated wisdom. And that takes much time. I don’t know how are you but it would take an enormous amount of emotional maturity to make this decision. May God bless you on your Path. That is the only thing I can say to you now.
The pinball machine thing. Yeah. I know that loop so well - angry, then searching for the mirror, then reminding yourself about the soul level stuff, then swinging right back to anger because the 3D action still happened and it still hurt. It’s genuinely exhausting. I don’t think anyone who isn’t living in this situation can grasp how much mental energy gets burned just trying to process a single interaction.
One thing I want to flag though. The mirroring piece is real but it can get misused in a way that does actual damage. Like if he does something careless or sabotaging toward your career, the mirror isn’t necessarily about that exact action. Your twin reflects your feelings, not the specific behavior.
So if what he did makes you feel undermined or not valued, the mirror might be pointing to where YOU are undermining or not valuing yourself. That distinction really matters. Otherwise you just end up taking ownership of his bad behavior, which… no.
The ego-driven 3D stuff from his side tracks with what a lot of people describe about the DM still operating from a separation-based consciousness state. Ego, emotional triggers, patterns that keep both twins stuck. A lot of times the DM doesn’t even realize the role they’re playing in it. Doesn’t excuse real harm though. About leaving the job - there’s a trap in twin flame thinking where we assume removing ourselves means we failed or we’re running from the lesson. Protecting your 3D life, your stability, your career, your mental health - that IS the inner work.
Spiritual bypassing is so real in this community. People avoid actual boundaries because they think the connection means they should just endure everything. Ignoring your 3D responsibilities actually delays things. Your career matters. You matter in 3D too.
Most twin flame dynamics have at least some physical separation built in - you go home, you process, you recalibrate. I think I know of one person here on the forum who hasn’t gone through a physical separation in this lifetime and that’s probably because they’ve done it at least once before.
You don’t have that. You’re getting triggered all day and then somehow expected to just… function professionally on top of it. That’s a lot.
The 3D vs 5D thing. Worth remembering, these are states of consciousness, not separate places. In 5D, there’s no separation; you’re always connected through the heart and soul. But 3D is all physical reality - ego, stress, control. Your twin might be firmly parked in 3D consciousness right now and genuinely have no idea what he’s doing on an energetic level.
The DM often seems to understand everything from a 3D perspective, but they’re often operating almost unconsciously in their role. The gap between what they appear to know and what they actually know will drive you up a wall. Or several.
On the stay-or-go question - leaving a job to protect your peace doesn’t mean abandoning the connection. Career changes during twin flame stuff are weirdly common, actually. Someone on another thread was talking about how their whole career went downhill the moment they connected with their TF, and they ended up getting pushed into a completely different direction that eventually served them way better.
Sometimes the universe removes things for your highest good. And sometimes YOU are the one who needs to do the removing (which I think people forget).
The 3D/5D split you’re feeling with your twin is part of something bigger. Consciousness itself is dividing right now - some people can hold both dimensions while others are operating purely in the physical.
For a while, we’ve been in the death throes of pure 3D reality. So, of course, it feels chaotic and exhausting when someone you’re energetically connected to is still operating from that collapsing level. The polarity is extreme.
Service-to-self and service-to-others energies are separating even while sharing the same space. And the shift happens in consciousness first, before it ever shows up in our physical circumstances.
My head is a mess tonight after a terrible day during which I was on the verge of tears all afternoon and couldn’t concentrate on anything, but I wanted to say thank you for all the helpful and comforting replies.
It is a lot, and on days like today it simply feels too much but I can’t bear the thought of leaving him even though he’s in a depot 60 miles away and we only talk by phone and email during work anyway. It’s still in much closer proximity than a lot of twin flames, though, and feels pretty constant.
Today something he put in an email hit me so hard. It was, “I’m not busying my day doing that” when I had asked him to message to provide us with an update on something. It was as if he thought what I had asked for was so pointless as to be beneath him. It was like a sucker punch.
Even with all the logic I know about how they act as if they don’t care, sometimes it gets me a lot worse than others. Today was one of those. He probably didn’t even mean it how it sounded, but my chest cracked open and stung - WOW - and my eyes just filled up.
I really don’t know how long I can keep this up for. Part of me just cannot be arsed to job hunt and the other part is annoyed that he’s making it so difficult to stay. It’s not earth-shattering but I earn better money than before and I know the job now so it’s not totally new.
Thank you. He did it again this morning, so I sent him an email saying please stop disrespecting me especially in front of third-party suppliers.
I will talk to my manager if necessary but I’ve never sent an email like that before so hopefully it will wake him up. He’s being a jerk no question about it, I don’t care if he’s in fear or struggling to handle feelings. It’s abusive behaviour.
This is a masculine-wound flare-up. Classic one. When the masculine feels threatened - by your stability, your visibility, whatever - the unhealed pattern comes out as careless actions or that ‘accidental’ undermining thing that never actually feels accidental.
What helped me was separating the man from the wound. I started naming it in my journal: ‘this is his protector part trying to regain control.’ Simple as that. It kept me from absorbing it as some attack on my worth, which is where I used to spiral every time.
Practically - try a weekly cord-clearing for workplace dynamics (solar plexus + throat), then follow it with a short inner-masculine healing practice where you visualize offering your inner masculine reassurance that your career safety doesn’t depend on your twin behaving perfectly. That second part matters more than people think.
If you’re open to resources, I got a lot out of masculine polarity repair work (David Deida-type teachings) plus somatic grief release. That ‘head ache’ feeling can be your body bracing against the masculine’s unpredictability. The body keeps score with this stuff in ways that surprised me.
When your inner masculine feels safe and steady, his outer masculine acting out starts landing as data plus boundary instead of emotional whiplash.
Yes, he’s literally like a bear with a sore head - all the time it seems. Doesn’t matter what I say or do. Trying to win his trust or create camaraderie fall flat. He’s always in a paddy with himself and others, but particularly me.
I will try the things you have suggested. I will try anything at this point, as I’m on the verge of thinking is all this stress really worth it to stay in the company? Thank you again.
One thing that worries me a bit is, is it going to make him worse now that I’ve stood up and said something? Have I opened Pandora’s box?
I didn’t get any backtalk to my email which did surprise me, but maybe he thought I’d silent copied my boss in or I would end up going to HR or something if he queried it.
He’s been like this for about 3 years which probably hasn’t been helped by my attempts at placation and appeasement. Just when I think we’re getting somewhere, I get a rude dismissive comment out of nowhere. ‘Forgetting’ to send me things, claiming he’s cursed with helping me when I try to thank him for something… I’ve had it all. Hoping the advice given so far will help a bit
Discernment matters more here than just toughing it out.
Try making a ‘non-negotiables’ list for work - credit, respect, professionalism - and decide ahead of time what you do if he crosses one. That way, you’re not trying to figure it out while you’re triggered.
I and my TF is a coworker, too. And, he paint me as the girl who is chasing him around and make him distressed and uncomfortable. Unfortunately, a lot of our coworkers believe what he said, without understanding why those act of chasing mean.
I believe that we truly need to put some boundaries in the workplace. I agree with some before suggestion, you need to put it, for your own shake.
I’ll say, no 5D soul is downright bad, they are some pure being after all. But, it’s different with their avatar in 3D. The avatar already have so much trauma and self protection from worldly affair, that’s why they could be so mean and selfish.
So, protect yourself.
And, @wildflower-soul could you elaborate what practice you used, thank you in advance?
Lately, I read a lot about the DF that hit rock bottom not only in this forum, but in other forum or platform. I feel the energy pretty heavy right now.
I had an energy cleanse done which has helped a lot in addition to knowing I’m not going crazy and others recognise what I’m talking about. I do try to use aura cleansing reiki videos and other things sometimes but this was a complete energy field cleanse apparently (I don’t know exactly what she did, but it had a positive effect and it was for a small fee instead of being horrendously expensive).
I still feel tired from work but the horrible hopeless feeling and chest ache I had last weekend has dissipated. I don’t think I was doing enough to clear away all the energetic sludge that we can get mired in on this journey.
A good tip she gave me that anyone can do is to do an intentional shower, where you imagine releasing what you want to get rid of and it all going down the plughole. I’ve heard of that before but not considered it in the context of the twin flame journey.
I sometimes get a lot of comfort and refreshment from soaking in a warm Epsom salt bath but know you have to be a bit careful with those if you have some medical conditions, high blood pressure, or are pregnant. Best to check with a doctor before using if you aren’t sure.
Hi @Yaneka_Herma, I’m really sorry to hear about your situation, that has got to be difficult.
It’s unfortunate that your twin has told people about his feeling. That must have made it very uncomfortable for you at work. Mine has embarrassed me in front of colleagues and suppliers whilst projecting a cold and dismissive attitude, and also protected another coworker who is his friend outside of work, which led to my manager moving me to a different team because they couldn’t be trusted to be professional when I was there.
It was so embarrassing and I spent a long time feeling hurt and angry at him before realising HE was my twin, and not any of the karmic connections I had been in up until then.
As I’m also struggling I can’t supply much in the way of advice but just wanted to offer solidarity as it’s not an enviable situation to be in, not at all. I wish you strength and send love and understanding
Souls can be bonded in 5D and still be accountable in 3D. Full stop.
Sometimes we forget this just because we (as chasers) understand more about the journey we cut them too much slack.
This should be a practical conversation, not just filtered through the twin flame lens. If his actions are impacting your career, that’s a 3D problem. Move teams, limit collaboration, keep comms in writing - protect your work product.
You’re not ‘failing the path’ by doing any of that. Sometimes making a clean, adult decision that keeps you safe and respected is the most grounded thing you can do. Not glamorous. But real.
If you do leave, let it be because it’s aligned with your path (and you’ll know when it is), not because you’re trying to escape him.
This really resonates. The part about him protecting his friend and you getting moved to a different team, that’s such a gut punch because it flips everything. You end up being the one displaced when you weren’t the problem. And then you’re supposed to just carry on like it’s fine.
Sending love right back to both of you. Workplace TF connections are truly their own beast.
Thank you for this. I’ve realised I fell into the trap of being too accommodating whilst trying to understand the journey, which is ironically one of the things I need to heal - some of my lessons in this lifetime are about boundaries.
