This ache doesn’t respond to logic. I can’t just reason this away. Nobody outside of here will probably understand it. I just don’t have the words to even begin and try to explain this to someone who hasn’t felt it. They think it’s just like “going through a breakup”.
It’s just this constant low hum that no amount of rational explanation can touch. People can call it whatever they want, but they haven’t felt what it’s like to sense someone that close with no way to actually reach them.
Some nights the barrier feels so thin. Like paper-thin. Like I could almost step through and just be there with you, whole again the way we already are on a higher level. And I’m so tired of holding back when everything in me wants to move toward you. I wish you would stop pulling away so we could exist together in this reality the way we’re meant to (though I know that’s not entirely up to me).
Without you here, I walk around feeling hollow. Like something important just… gone. There’s so much I want to say and nowhere to put any of it because you have shut every door I could speak through. That’s a specific kind of loneliness most people don’t understand unless they have been in separation themselves.
But if you’re reading this (and something in me believes you are), the love hasn’t faded. Not even a little. All I’m asking for is a conversation. Just a crack in the door. This silence is destroying me more than any argument ever could, and I think you know that.
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I hear you. I miss my TF every day, no matter what painful things occurred between us. He is a part of me, so without him, everything feels off, or dimmed.
It is said that each TF carries the other’s life force/essence/energy, and that is a big part why you yearn so strongly for them. But whereas the DF gives hers away willingly to the DM, he/she isnt returning that energy so the DF ends up exhausted, until she learns to give that energy to herself instead.
As I’ve healed and learned this, the yearning does calm. But I don’t think we’ll ever NOT miss them.
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I know how you feel. I have not seen my TF for 4 months, but I feel him almost nightly. Even though we are in separation & not talking. There are days when I can stay strong & do my best to focus on myself, but there are other days where the angels numbers, songs, & cars exactly like his end up in front of me multiple times a day, those days are very hard. I want the separation to be over or for there to at least be some communication from him to explain WTH he is going through, dealing with or planning. The silence with all the signs & his touch at night are really painful.
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Focusing on yourself is everything. I promise everything gets better.
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The hollow feeling is brutal, one of the worst parts of separation. Outsiders think it’s just breakup blues but it’s deeper than you really know how to put into words (as much as we try).
We’ve all been there. Some of us are still there, and some of us have passed it. Just focus on yourself and know that if this is really the journey and you honor it, it’ll be worth it.
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And yet. That’s where I end up. Everyone says growth is worth it, no contact serves some higher purpose, but having to see this person at work tomorrow while all this drama is still raw is its own kind of torture.
The barrier between us could not be thinner or more fragile… it barely exists. And somehow we’re just supposed to hold it.
I miss them every second of every day. I know they’re always there. Hidden away in my soul
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