Hey, curious to hear from the guys here about male twin flame feelings. The masculine side of this connection doesn’t get talked about enough.
Would love to read your stories.
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There’s not much to say really.
Just try to be as stoic as possible and (if you’re like me) do your best to maintain a good family life.
Not easy when your twin flame battles through devestating life events, like unplanned pregnancies, child loss and cancer while you feel their emotions and physical pains as if they are your own, but who said the journey was meant to be simple? 
The male twin flame journey tends to be far more introspective and solitary that the female one I find.
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I really want to know and understand,too.
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There’s a whole thread somewhere here from the POVs of runners (who tend to be the guys, but not always, of course), but I spoke to a guy (who was a runner) who explained their side of the journey, and it sounded exactly the same as a lot of the women here.
Crazy recognition, insane levels of connection early on and then a separation that felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest.
I don’t think gender really changes it in either direction.
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I think culture changes it, at least a bit.
Guys are brought up a little differently in 99% of cultures. Not intentionally or maybe even consciously but they are raised differently and come into a society that expects different things from them.
Unfairly of course, but I think that does change their experience of the journey because they’re expected not to go through this kind of thing.
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Social media over the last couple of years has really been playing into this “culture war” idea and both “sides” are further apart from each other than they ever have been in the past. It’s pretty crazy.
I think this is having an impact on the twin flame journey too. All you need to do is look in a lot of communities (not this one thankfully), and you see the vitriol and hate. And this is happening on both sides. Men are being told by other men that women are cheating on them and after their money, and women are being told that guys are manipulative, narcissistic liars.
If we hear this often enough, maybe we can’t not bring it into the twin flame journey. We’re still human at the end of the day.
I know there are some runners here and some who were runners who come back now and then to offer advice and I think we all really appreciate these perspectives but we also need to try and look beyond the 3D gender and remind ourselves what the journey is really about.
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A lot of people really confuse the idea of runners and chasers with male and female. It doesn’t really have much to do with gender.
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There is so much surrender the masculine has to learn. So much. Every guy I’ve talked to got humbled by divine timing. They tried forcing outcomes and controlling the meetings. I don’t think they’re trying to do it but just how they were raised they were all told that they’re supposed to fix the problem.
I agree there’s a culture war problem going on and both sides are blaming each other but I don’t want that to spill into the twin flame space.
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A twin flame hits a guy hard and changes his whole view on what matters to him. He might not say much at first. You just notice him changing little habits that never mattered with anyone else before her. Those connections push him to face stuff head on.
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Guys often show connection by quietly focusing on her needs, without the big words. If he starts checking in on her day or making sure things are handled around her, that can be him feeling it deep. Watch for those steady actions over time. They build up and show the pull more than any talk would.
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Gender doesn’t really have anything to do with the Divine Masculine or Divine Feminine but statistically they usually line up and I tend to write from my own POV which is a female DF with a male DM. YMMV, just swap the terms.
You’ve probably seen it, and it stung. He looks fine because he’s trying to.
The posts, the photos, the easy way he seems to be moving through his days while you’re carrying the weight of the whole connection on your own. He looks like a man who feels nothing, and that image can be one of the hardest things to sit with in separation.
They’re not trying to hurt you by acting this way, it’s just how they’ve learned to survive.
For most men, being okay is a job as much as a feeling. A lot of them were handed that job young, long before they ever met you. Keep it together. Don’t make a fuss. Handle it on your own and don’t let anyone see the parts that aren’t handled.
By the time the connection with you arrived and cracked their world apart, your divine masculine already had years of practice at one particular skill: looking steady while something underneath him is anything but.
So when the connection brings up more than he knows what to do with (which the twin flame journey always does), he doesn’t reach for words. He reaches for the performance. The performance is familiar for him. It’s the thing he knows how to do when the ground moves.
The composure you’re seeing is the cost of holding it all in, not the absence of feeling.
What Their “I’m Fine” Really Means
When a man on this journey says he’s fine, goes quiet, or carries on like nothing happened, he’s telling you he doesn’t have a safe way to show you what it’s doing to him rather than saying the connection went away.
It’s hard for us to understand the position they’re in. Runners and chasers face different challenges and are dealing with different pressures both internal and external.
Admitting he’s not okay can feel, to him, like admitting he’s lost control of something. Control is often the one thing the masculine clings to hardest when everything else feels unstable. He’d rather you saw a man who has it together than a man undone by a connection he can’t explain to himself, let alone to you.
He’s protecting an image he thinks he’s supposed to maintain. No, it doesn’t make sense but it’s not a logical choice. Most of the time he doesn’t realize he’s even doing it himself.
But he’s protecting himself from you, as much as he thinks he’s protecting you from him.
But There Are Always Tells
You know him better than he thinks. Maybe even better than he knows himself. The calm version of him he’s presenting tends to have small leaks and a twin flame can always see the tells.
You might catch a message that arrives out of nowhere, casual on the surface but clearly took him longer to send than it should have. Or maybe the way he keeps a thin thread open, a like or a view on your story, a reply to the one thing he could justify, while telling himself and everyone else he’s moved on. His quiet often deepens right around the dates and moments that meant something to the two of you.
A man who genuinely felt nothing wouldn’t need to manage any of this. He wouldn’t need to look fine. He’d just be indifferent, and indifference doesn’t require maintenance. The effort he’s putting into seeming unaffected is itself the evidence that he’s affected.
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For me, it came down to healing my inner child. Whenever fear struck, I would literally pause and tell that scared little boy inside, “you are safe, little one.” After that, I could actually open up and love without fear.
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I don’t know if their experience is really all that different. I think both DM and DF struggle just like the runner and the chaser struggle. Different in some small ways but it’s the same struggle and you both share the energy so you both know what the other is going through.
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Yes, they are very similar, but the running/chasing dynamic during separation to me is very much dependent on which polarity you are.
I am a male DM in this life, and in my past life I was a female DM, so I was still the runner despite being a biological female.
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As a man, I completely disagree and this just continues to feed the “men vs. women” split that is destructive and gives “socialization” way too much credit for people’s desires and tendencies, as if people are helpless blank slates that needs societal programming to tell them what they should want and expect out of relationships.
I was the runner in my past life as a woman, as well. It has nothing to do with gender and everything about the energy. I still love and think about my twin flame all the time, but I used to get easily triggered by her and feel like I want nothing to do with her when her focus was on me, hence the distortions where I’d see her insecurities as physical truth and the running.
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It may seem illogical, but if you look at it from a different perspective, it actually makes a lot of sense.
In the traditional zen buddhism, there is an story called “The House of 1,000 Mirrors”.
It’s a story of 2 dogs that visit a legendary temple known as the House of 1000 Mirrors.
The first dog to visit this location was happy and carefree. When he entered this house, and looked inside with his ears high and his tail wagging, he was met by 1,000 other happy dogs with their tails wagging just as fast. He flashed a massive smile, and 1,000 warm, friendly smiles instantly beamed back at him. As the dog left they thought, “What a wonderful place! I will visit here often.”
The second dog that visited this location was naturally unhappy, cynical, and untrusting. He slowly entered the home with his head hung low and growling cautiously. To his horror, he found himself staring at 1000 angry, aggressive dogs growling directly back at him. Terrified, he bared his teeth and barked furiously, only to have 1,000 hostile dogs bare their teeth and bark back. He fled the temple in a panic, thinking, “What a horrific, evil place. I will never return.”
Most men seem to be programed with this subconscious belief that what they display externally, will be reflected back to them.
But in truth, it’s the exact opposite. It’s their own internal state that is reflected back to them. And that’s why they have a tendency to attract and be surrounded by chaos and misfortune most of the time. As that is what is trying to get them to acknowledge their true inner state.
It’s a constant battle that they can never win. Trapped in an endless cycle until the point where they have no choice but to surrender. And that’s what terrifies most men the most. A lack of control.
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Hi, So first of all I’m so happy I’ve found this space, however I really could have used it 5 months ago!
So Im male and TF, however for whatever reason it seems that i associate with the DF side of this connection. And it’s been hard, I resonate with all the comments i have read from other DF’s, As a male Im feeling all that too. I’m actually in a strange place at the moment, still in Separation, Still in No Contact and Ive come to accept that this will probably never change!
However over the last few days I feel more of a happy feeling, when the thoughts of her or random energy (and there has been some really random energy) come to me, I feel happy, good, no longer distraught that we are not together or even communicating and not desperate to talk to her. I have by no means moved on and accept that i probably won’t move on, but that this is part of my life.
Saying all this tomorrow could flip and I can be climbing the walls with frustration, confusion and uncertainty… not to mention the daily fight as to whether I need to check myself into an institution!!
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This is a long shot, and probably not the same person, but your name doesn’t begin with the letter N, right? And your tf doesn’t begin with the letter M? Got a really weird feeling that hit me right now and I don’t know if it’s because you mentioned the same length of time away as mine and because your name is the same star sign as his, or whether it’s because this is actually him lol. If not, no worries, and welcome!
Ah sorry, neither M or N for either of us.
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