I don’t think I can count the number of times my TF has mentioned separating from his wife and/or getting a divorce. I have -never- contributed my thoughts to this but just to say this is his journey and his own life decision, then just offer a listening ear to his problems. I hate to say it but talk is cheap coz despite the promises and plans, we are in a no contact separation now. So, all I can say is to focus on your own journey and your own healing. At least that’s what I’ve been doing. 
2 Likes
I’ve been walking this path for years now. What I’ve learned is that trying to force anything - whether it’s them leaving their marriage or you letting go completely - only creates more resistance.
The universe has its own timeline that we can’t control, even when watching them build a life with someone else feels unbearable.
2 Likes
After 22 years of knowing my twin flame (including a decade of complete no contact while they were married), I can tell you that letting them live their life without interference is what eventually brought us back together. Their marriage ended on its own terms when it was meant to, and now we’re finally building the life we were always supposed to have. Sometimes things just take time to work themselves out.
4 Likes
Having been married to what I can only describe as my soulmate for years before I met my twin flame in person, having no knowlage of twin flames, and never hearing the term before I can tell you that its one of things that trully crush you when you find out the truth about the connection.
How could it be that the person I am with, have grown together with, built a family with and gone through so many different experiences with…isn’t my ultimate partner. Not the one I am trully meant to be with in this life.
“What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? This can’t be right!” is what I remember thinking.
But it wasn’t until I calmed down a little and looked at the situation deeper and in more detail that I noticed the subtle signs and syncronisities regarding my marriage, which occured in the past without my conscious knowlage and my marriage’s deeper significance.
The most obvious one was one of the activities we performed in our honeymoon, which was to drive together on the “Road to (my twin flame’s name)”.
In general, my marriage is meant to teach me what positive, healthy romantic love is, and what it is not. Its meant to teach me how to create, cherish and care for a family. How to set good boundaries in order to establish a healthy work-life balance. Lessons I could not have learned otherwise.
Lessons that, in the future, if things continue the way they are meant to continue on this journey, I suspect I will have to teach my twin flame.
It’s what’s kept me going. It’s what gives me the strength to continue on. The belief that the more I master and overcome the lessons and challenges my marriage brings, I will, one day unite with my twin flame in this lifetime.
1 Like
Your post really resonates with me. When someone is married, especially for a long time, it does feel like this huge barrier between you.
I ended up building a genuine friendship first, without expectations. Yeah, it hurt knowing there were boundaries that couldn’t be crossed, but that friendship became something I valued on its own. The connection was still there, just expressed differently. Sometimes life surprises you. What seems permanent can shift in ways you never expected. Not because you forced it or wished hard enough, but because people change, and sometimes their paths go in directions that seemed impossible before.
I stopped waiting around, hoping for change, and just accepted the situation while staying open to whatever might happen. When you stop trying to control everything and focus on what’s actually in front of you, sometimes things work out differently than you thought.
Marriage is definitely a bigger deal than dating, but even marriages don’t always last forever. Not because someone interfered, but because sometimes people realize on their own that they need something different. All you can really do is respect the connection in whatever form it can take right now.
1 Like
I was actually the married one when this connection hit me. At first, I thought it was some kind of spiritual test to stay loyal to my spouse, and I didn’t realize what it actually was, but it didn’t take long before it became obvious my marriage wasn’t going to last.
I think Spirit uses these impossible situations to force us to do the inner work we need. The marriage might be part of that process somehow, not just an obstacle. I didn’t hold it against my spouse and I think we ended on pretty good terms. They’ll never fully understand the twin flame connection but they understand that we weren’t meant to last forever.
2 Likes
It sucks especially when you know deep down they want to be with you I always feel her touching me at night but she told me she was with someone but deep down I know she wants to be with me but cant bring herself to open up and ran after I told her
1 Like
I get this. When marriage is involved, the twin flame connection is brutal. It tears apart everything you thought you knew about your life and it can tear everything they know about marriage and relationships. The runner is often acting from a place where they only know how to frame things based on 3D experience anyway.
Meeting your twin flame while married doesn’t mean you’re supposed to run off together right away. It also doesn’t mean that you’re not going to end up together.
It might help to treat their marriage as a soul contract that needs to be completed before ours can begin. Maybe they have karmic debt to resolve with their spouse, kids they agreed to raise, lessons to learn about conventional love before they’re ready for this intensity.
Seeing it from a soul perspective instead of a human one makes the wait more bearable. We’ve got lifetimes, what’s a few more months?
4 Likes
Look, I’m not proud of this, but their marriage is already cracking. They told me they haven’t been intimate in 2 years and sleep in separate rooms. They’re staying “for the kids,” but the kids are teenagers who probably know anyway, so it won’t be long now.
I think I wouldn’t actively push them toward speeding things up, but I can understand those who do. I’m not doing anything about it, just waiting. But like… it’s clearly ending with or without me
3 Likes
I’m in a similar situation. We’re both married, and it’s complicated. I’ve known them for decades but only recently realized what this connection actually was. For years I just thought they were an ex I couldn’t quite get over.
The timing has always been terrible. When I was ready to leave my marriage years ago, they called to tell me they were getting married. We’ve drifted in and out of each other’s lives, but haven’t been in contact for a while now. Seeing them happy with their kids makes me genuinely smile. But seeing them with their spouse is harder. Their spouse looks a lot like me, which is weird to think about.
I don’t know what to do either. Still not sure if I buy into the whole twin flame thing. Marriage makes everything more complicated - there are families involved, responsibilities. Maybe that’s part of whatever we’re supposed to learn from this.
1 Like
Funny enough, I’m in a similar situation in my marriage with us sleeping in separate rooms and physical intimacy being a rarity.
However, the big difference is that the “kids” is a single offspring that requires special needs. They are “on the spectrum”, non-verbal, still learning to use the toilet, and have a poor diet. Ridiculous energy with intense tantrums and meltdowns. They’re turning 8 soon. 
So us sleeping in separate rooms and not being intimate is a case of physical comfort and lack of energy/drive from the demands of caring for the child, jobs, and other everyday chores.
And if I’m being brutally honest, health challenges are likely to manifest in the coming years, as this lifestyle isn’t sustainable long term for either my child or my partner.
1 Like
Their spouse started dating someone else!!!
Everyone seems to know, and my twin knows but doesn’t want to talk about it but also doesn’t seem to really be too worried about it. I can’t imagine it’ll be long now. Part of me feels horrible for being happy about their pain but also… this is literally the universe removing obstacles?? Trying to just send love and stay neutral but inside I’m screaming
1 Like
Something that helped me was realizing his spouse has her own soul process too. They’re a person who chose this incarnation and this relationship for her own reasons. People marry who they think they’re supposed to marry. safety, compatibility, timing, whatever the reason.
For whatever reason, they chose to be married for the moment. They’re still on the soul contract with you, so their ultimate goal is still to get back with you and reach union. My twin admitted they got married because they were 30 and “it was just the time.” not because of mad love. Those marriages built on checkboxes instead of connection don’t usually survive spiritual awakening. Just saying.
When I started sending loving energy to both of them instead of just him, the obsessive desperation eased up a bit. I stopped feeling like the universe was punishing me.
Edit: Even today they mentioned some regret about their marriage. I don’t respond directly about it but I think they know how I feel.
3 Likes
Hi, well that’s actually me, im the married one.. tf knows, didn’t like it at first, but I think he’s accepted that the connection can only be platonic. Well that’s what i am hoping for, i feel for my tf, but more like a teacher and a good friend. I don’t know if this helps somehow..
1 Like
It was such a comfort to read this thread! I am new on this forum, but glad I joined. When I met my twin, i had been married 20 years and he for 30. I accepted very early on that I was not willing to break up my marriage & his to pursue a romantic relationship. I did a bit of reading about affairs and the damage that causes and wanted to steer clear of that too. I tried my best to remain friends with him but his wife was not ok with that. I received a text message from her out of the blue basically telling me to back off, she does not want me being part of his life. There has been no communication between my twin & I since. It has been hard, I have resentment towards his wife, but I have also come to accept it’s part of my journey. She has set up very clear boundaries & I respect that. I don’t like it, but I respect it.
3 Likes
These words are so beautiful and discribe exactly what I am going through. We are both working at an elemetary school and had a class for one year a half together. I wasn’t into that tf stuff until I realized here is something different-totally different. Even the intensity of mirroring I couldn’t deal with in the first place. I guess she realized it way before me although SHE WAS IN HER PROCESS OF GETTING MARRIED. And even when she was pregnant. She then didn’t come to work of course. But when she was back still these looks, these obvious signals. And I wasn’t able to do anything at all. But I still had these overwhelming waves. Just a week ago I never ever cried for so long. Even today in the mrning some voice told me to put on that blue pullover (which is her favorite colour) and BAM we met. It is pure pain anybody can hardly understand. The same type of sync we had about a year ago when we met at a conference where she wasn’t even expected. Working on myself? Probably. But on what aim?And how helpful would that be to have a little relief. And definitely do I not want anybody else in my life since I had to experience this depth of emotions, not talking about all these syncs which showed me what it obvously is. Affectionation wrote you can step back entirely. Is that possible? Isn’t the bond there for good? And by the way is it hardly bearable to see her once in a while. Maybe both pretending there is nothing.
2 Likes
I’ll share my perspective as a married twin. I’m actually not sure of my DM’s relationship status. We’ve been no contact since we briefly met (by circumstance only - we have no way of contacting each other currently).
I met my twin while on vacation with my husband. At first I felt we could be really close friends, and I tried to keep the idea of him in that platonic box because, after all, I was happily married. But then the fantasies started hitting…stronger than anything I’ve ever felt for anyone, even my husband. For months I tried to push those feelings down, but eventually they won out.
Through all of that I was awakened to the realization that I have been shrinking myself and my needs (sensual, emotional connectedness, communication) to keep my husband comfortable. I thought maybe we could fix it, and we tried for months. But it seemed the harder we tried, the more I expressed my needs, the further apart we got. I struggled a lot with the “this wasn’t supposed to happen, this isn’t how this was supposed to go” thoughts. On the outside to everyone else, it seemed like everything was fine…we were as close as always. But inside I had never felt further from him.
As it stands now we’re still married. But it feels we’re on borrowed time. And I’m still not in contact with my twin so I’m not even sure how that’s going to go (the signs and tarot seem like a big green light, but my protector self is doing her job well trying to keep me from getting hurt). I still love my husband. He’s still my best friend and my family. And I hope we can always stay in each other’s lives regardless of what happens (we don’t have kids, so we don’t have that to tie us together). But we haven’t talked about our relationship since October, and haven’t been physical at all since then - no hand holding, no kisses, no hugs. It truly feels like we’re platonic roommates. And I can’t do that the rest of my life. We’re still friendly with each other and do everything together, so most people are none the wiser. But there’s been an obvious internal shift since I met my twin…one that I don’t feel like we can come back from because of how much I’ve woken up and grown in these past several months.
All that to say - you never know what’s going on within someone’s marriage. Even if they tell you, you may not even know the full extent. I’ll back up everyone else’s advice - honor their marriage and don’t interfere. If/when it dissolves, it won’t have anything to do with you. If my marriage was where it’s supposed to be (and where I thought it was for 14 years) nothing would be able to come between us. Our issues now aren’t because of my twin. He just shown a light on them so I could see the cracks that have always been there. And now I can’t unsee them.
But despite how it looks on the outside, or even if your twin is truly happily married, I genuinely feel like your twin deeply wants a close relationship with you (however you two work that out). At least that’s been my experience as a married twin who hasn’t stopped thinking about her DM for a second since we met 8 months ago, despite nothing but separation.
2 Likes
I have a very similar story to the previous post. I met my twin flame nearly a year ago when I was on holiday (I’m in the uk) I was happily married but l felt a big draw. We stay at the same place in the uk multiple times through the year so I saw him a few times by October it was so strong I could actually visualise our first date but I didn’t know anything about this guy.
When we got home I asked my husband for a separation. I mentioned to a friend of mine who also worked at the place where we stayed that I was separated and within a few days my flame contacted me through social media. Immediately we hit it off and it became romantic that same day. We were together long distance with the odd meet for 2 months before he ‘ran away’
My point is I thought I was happily married but once I found my flame I didn’t look back I didn’t know anything about my flame when I met him and he wasn’t the reason I left the marriage I just knew I wasn’t happy and had to leave
2 Likes
So my Twin flame is not married yet. But I just learned that they are getting married within a week and for some reason I don’t feel bad or sad or mad. On the opposite, I realized I feel happy for them, and in some weird way at peace with it. Is this normal, wondering if it has happened to anyone else. In a way I feel that although they’re getting married out connections are still there, not in a physical way but it just feels like the love for this person is above the physical yearning and feels like my soul knows that it’s not the end even if it’s not the time yet . I don’t know if that makes sense
3 Likes
Wanted to share that this resonates with me because my twin has a friend who stands between us, and in some ways it mimics the situation of him being married as we all work together.
There would have to be some pretty big life decisions made if we were to be together. They’ve been friends for years before I joined the company and even though she is married to someone else with children, it feels as though they might as well be the couple as the friendship trumps everything and he will never break it.
There have even been cases at work where he has done something to protect her that has affected my job. He went behind my back once and it led to my manager moving me out of the team I was in because I was humiliated due to their friendship and they couldn’t trust the pair of them to be professional when I was involved. In any other situation I would have loathed the person, but he’s my twin and I love him no matter what. Even if it is excruciating.
Sending solidarity and understanding for these impossible and painful situations 
4 Likes