As someone who has faced this situation over many lifetimes, is facing it right now and am sure will face it in the future I can definitely say I feel for the author of this question. But the devil is in the detail. Whether you interfere or shut it all up about it and start a new life yourself with someone who is definitely not your Twin Flame depends on two important factors I’m sure you all know of but never truly considered.
First is, are they happy together? That’s actually the most important thing you must ask the Universe. If the answer is Yes. no matter the reasons behind it you obviously have no place in this relationship and most likely you should move on with your life, too. If not, ask the Universe why did they end up together in the first place? If there is anything you can do about it you DO IT, even if all hell breaks loose as a result of your actions. If something isn’t meant to be and nefarious forces are keeping it alive for their own benefit you ARE in your right to act even if the only result you would week out of your actions is to bring back balance to the Universe. But the most important thing you need to do while acting is to never EVER mix up your personal desires with your goals as someone who just wants to do the right thing. If you manage to be impartial even when you Soul cries for recognition and wants to direct your actions you will do the right thing no matter what. But if you bring your personal drama to other’s relationships you will be in jeopardy and will ruin everything.
Second, what spiritual level is your Twin Flame at? If s/he doesn’t have any idea of all that “spiritual stuff” you likely have no room to interfere in any respect. The only permissible intervention is if you could act as a kind of teacher/guru to your Twin Flame but YOU MUST REMAIN IMPARTIAL if you are to take up that mantle. Don’t do it because you love them in particular, but because you love humanity in general. If you can pull this off, try it, if you yourself don’t feel mature enough to make it happen-walk away no matter the pain you must endure. And finally, if your Twin Flame is at a high enough level to actually understand what has just happened between the two of you and is ready to have a talk about it-make it happen. I would even go further-invite the third party there if s/he is also spiritually mature enough to handle the load. If you are all mature enough-the Universe will provide a way to make it all happen. I must say I hate love triangles, threesomes and all the complex geometrical shapes when in relationships but I also want to say: “Who am I to tell the Universe what it could manifest into existence and what not?” If there is a way use it, no matter what the people would think about it. If you, however, are ALL emotionally mature to handle it. In the end the Universe would find a path.
Just replying for myself as another respondent, IMHO there is a lot of value here and it echoes what I have tried to do in some ways.
First off, get the sense that my twin is not totally happy with their friendship. Despite the lightning-fast leaping to her defence all the time, it feels like something deeply entrenched that he believes he has no choice but to do and has done for a long time (perhaps from past lives?).
It is automatic to the point of seeming as if he’s doing it at gunpoint or like flicking a switch from soul memory rather than out of genuine outrage on her behalf. A reader I came across also identified that he is hiding what he truly feels so as not to upset her. That doesn’t sound happy.
Yes, I want him very badly, I admit it. However, I don’t want him to feel forced. He’s already in that situation with a millstone around his neck and I’d want him to come to me of his own volition if he was going to. The way I see it, I can still be true to myself and show who I am without wishing for pain for someone else.
As mean as his friend has been to me at work sometimes and the petty things she has done out of ego, I have a soft heart and don’t want anyone to suffer. There’s a line in Friends the sitcom when Monica talks about Chandler not being able to intuit what she would like. She says, “If you could just realise it on your own… .”
The attitude I take is, if we’re supposed to be together then eventually, if we all keep doing what we need to do, the truth is going to stare them both in the face of its own accord. I.e., it wasn’t truly happiness that brought them together, the lessons have all been learned, and the karma has been burned away so there’s no contract left. Of course this all sounds way easier than it is in practice and it sucks in the meantime, but there is some lesson or soul contract there for at least someone otherwise they wouldn’t be friends. That’s what is being worked out.
Hi just a bit of an update… he’s now the one getting married ( well he’s engaged) and I feel truthfully happy for him.. he seemed like a ( let’s say aloof!!) at keeping eye’s away from other birds ( or hens ) last few years!! .. I so feel he’s changed his ways and also he’s forward. Butt.. it’s been 6 months since he’s “ come back to see us” and just recently he did pop in- mind you yes.. signs Galore! So I was semi prepared- ( of engagement) - now.. the question im questioning is.. he wanted to share his good news or wanted to see my reaction .. and for some reason I want to be the godmother to his children! And I still feel attached .. but not much, if that makes sense.. what else am i supposed to do .. has anyone else felt this way??.. i spoke to him normally ( as i could) .. was surprised at first.. thought that was it!.. no more appearance.. I don’t know.. is that it..( I don’t feel it’s is.. )
The friend dynamic can actually be harder to navigate than a marriage in some ways, there’s no clear ‘line’ that society recognizes. With a marriage, everyone understands the boundary. With an enmeshed friendship like this, it’s murkier - and that makes it trickier for you to even articulate what you’re feeling without sounding unreasonable.
I’ll never begin to judge others but if they were in a genuinely happy soulmate marriage then… maybe? I’d like to say I would have the strength to leave it and chase a proper union, but who knows. I think I would but I think I would understand if someone told me they decided to stay in an “easy” normal marriage rather than go through it.
You’re giving something up but maybe that might be the right choice.
I’ve watched enough journeys unfold over the years to know that absolutes rarely hold up the way we think they will. I’ve seen marriages that did end, yes, but I’ve also seen ones that didn’t. I’ve seen twin flames who chose their families. I’ve seen people who thought they’d met their twin flame but later realized it was something else entirely. Time has a way of revealing paths we couldn’t have imagined when we were in the thick of it.
I completely agree with this, especially the part about working on yourself and letting the universe handle the timing. That’s exactly what I’m trying to do.
The thing is, I know I need to focus on clearing my own blocks and raising my vibration, but I don’t even know if I’ve identified all my blocks yet. Like, I think I have abandonment issues from childhood, and probably some self-worth stuff, but what if there’s deeper trauma I haven’t even uncovered? I don’t want to think I’ve done the work when I’ve only scratched the surface.
So yeah, easier said than done is right. I want to trust the universe, but I also don’t want to fool myself into thinking I’m ready when there’s clearly still so much work to do.
Honestly, thank you for sharing this. It’s a really important perspective that doesn’t get talked about enough in these discussions. Not every marriage that looks ‘cracked’ from the outside is actually broken - sometimes it’s just two people doing their absolute best under incredibly demanding circumstances.
The caregiver burnout you’re describing is real and so often invisible to outsiders.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. It is certainly a weird one to experience. In some ways I have felt more annoyed with the friend than I would if she had been his girlfriend or wife, precisely because she didn’t have that 3D title. I felt like, he’s his own person, so why is she holding so much sway and why is he letting her? I could have understood his protectiveness of her more if they were together or married and it would have been easier to accept.
On the other hand, I read posts from those who have to contend with their twin flame being in a legal and physical commitment with someone and think, at least mine isn’t (any more for now), because I really feel for them having to go through that. Two sides of the same coin I guess. I have read that karmic connections can take various forms and it could be a partner, colleague, friend, relative, or even a boss in this role. It doesn’t always have to be romantic, but they are all challenging to deal with in different ways.
Thank you again for your kind words and sending love too.
) last few years!! .. I so feel he’s changed his ways and also he’s forward. Butt.. it’s been 6 months since he’s “ come back to see us” and just recently he did pop in- mind you yes.. signs Galore! So I was semi prepared- ( of engagement) - now.. the question im questioning is.. he wanted to share his good news or wanted to see my reaction 
.. and for some reason I want 
..