Good time to also remind people that the runner isn’t always running from you. They’re often running from themselves.
The TF journey makes all their unhealed wounds surface and that vulnerability feels terrifying to them. The love is too powerful to let go, but the pain is too devastating to move forward.
What tripped me up for a long time was focusing on getting them back instead of my own growth. You can’t use logic to talk them around and you shouldn’t ever just sit waiting. Your own work matters because it impacts you both through the connection.
The roles can switch too. You might find yourself being the runner at some point, even if you’re the chaser for now. Start seeing it as one shared consciousness working through stuff on different ends. When the chaser stops chasing and focuses on their own healing the whole dynamic can shift. Not overnight, but it does.
The runner needs to face their fears of intimacy and commitment. The chaser needs to address codependency and the need for external validation.
Both sides have work to do.