Does anyone feel like silent treatment with your twin flame feels different? It feels worse than just being in no contact when they are actively trying not to say anything or making it obvious that they are giving you the silent treatment.
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I think I know what you mean. It is weird, I know him and he is far too emotionally mature to play these kinds of games, but I guess he can’t help himself here.
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Yeah, I think I went through the same thing. Every time I got needy or tried to control things, he would pull away - become distant, and the love just felt… different. Not colder, I still knew he loved me but I could feel something between us. In our case, it was a short-term karmic, and he told me it was the guilt for being with someone else, even for that short term, he couldn’t bring himself to also be in contact with me. Even though he was technically not doing anything wrong he still felt guilty.
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The deliberateness is what gets you. There is a real difference between no contact and the silent treatment.
No contact is like… the line goes dead. They’re gone, you grieve, you figure out how to exist without them. Done. But if they’re giving you the silent treatment, then they might even be watching your stories or liking other people’s stuff while pointedly not responding to you. That calculated-feeling avoidance cuts like a knife.
I do agree it’s probably soul shock. They don’t understand what they’re feeling, they don’t know why they feel that way, and they try to shove the whole experience into a normal relationship framework that just doesn’t apply here. So you get some half-baked excuse for the silence. They give themselves a half-baked justification. The runner often feels the same intense feelings we do as chasers, but they panic because they understand those feelings even less than we do.
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I was getting the silent treatment after our first separation… but there was one night I wasn’t in a good place mentally.
He knew what I had been going through and he reached out almost immediately that night. They only give you silent treatment when you both need the space your TF doesn’t actually ignore you.
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Does anyone else deal with the paradox of your twin going fully silent but still watching every single one of your stories, liking old posts? That in-between space where they won’t speak to you but clearly haven’t looked away… it’s its own unique torture.
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I’m in somewhat of that space now. Not fully silent, texting sporadically but nothing concrete or meaningful. He was liking and reacting to my stories. We’re in this weird in between space and I’ll be honest. I don’t know how to navigate it
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Yes. I was in an abusive relationship in the past and that silent treatment was always a punishment. It’s different with my twin (not a punishment) but doesn’t feel a whole lot better.
My twin takes things to heart so he will often stay completely silent instead of explaining something that would dispel the mystery. For example, he still doesn’t have the answer to a work question I asked about a couple of hours earlier. To me it’s like, no problem, I’ll just wait, but to him it’s a big deal. He will ignore my calls and everything to avoid telling me he doesn’t know yet, until he has a definitive answer.
He has begun not putting his out of office on so I don’t know if he’s just temporarily busy or away on leave when I actually need to contact him about something work-related. It’s disheartening, feels like a step back, and is maddening when I am trying to do my job and stay sane at the same time. On occasion it feels over the top and it may well be a test to see what I do, but as someone else said I think it is about space. Sometimes we think we are giving them space but if they think not, they will take more.
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During silent treatment phases, my twin - who won’t even say the word ‘connection’ out loud - somehow shows up so vividly in my dreams it’s almost disorienting. And then I find out later they dreamed of me too. Every time.
This sounds familiar…
And the out-of-office thing… yeah. That’s him creating ‘distance’ without actually distancing himself. It’s not malicious, but it’s definitely deliberate in the way that only someone hyperaware of your presence could be. He knows exactly what removing that small courtesy does. It keeps you guessing, keeps the dynamic slightly off-balance, and gives him a sense of control over a connection that probably terrifies him on some level.
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It can always feel like a difference to us, but runners behave differently from chasers. They perceive things differently, too. Sometimes their choices can feel like they’re trying to make things worse or harder, but half the time, I don’t think they can explain their own choices to themselves. The rest of the time, they tend to think they’re doing the right thing, but they’re making decisions with only 10% of the information.
If remember that… It’s hard to blame them.
The runner is most likely deep in a denial phase. They have free will and they’re using it to put everything on hold because the intensity of the connection is overwhelming them. The depth of it feels triggering. During this time, they’re also working through their own shadow stuff around vulnerability and communication and personal space - all of that getting lived through by both counterparts at the same time.
Sometimes listening to runners talk about what it felt like… I think I am glad I was a chaser. I don’t think either side gets an easy ride but at least I had some understanding of what was happening. Beats flailing around wildly in the dark.
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Ah yes, nothing quite like the spiritual gift of someone pointedly ignoring you while their energy hovers three inches from your aura. What a blessing. But one thing I haven’t seen mentioned here is what you actually DO with yourself during those stretches. Because that part matters.
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That’s what I thought. If he didn’t care or wasn’t aware of the connection, he wouldn’t change how he was behaving in these small ways. The lack of an out-of-office did cause a bit of confusion at work, but other than that, I just behaved as if it hadn’t happened. I know by now that if it doesn’t disrespect or harm me, it’s best to let it pass without comment or reaction because doing so will only freak him out more.
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Every time I find peace within myself and stop needing the external validation… he comes back. Like clockwork.
The silence was teaching me to become whole on my own. That’s the real work of sacred union.
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My grandmother always said ‘write the letter, then burn it.’ Writing unsent letters to my twin during silent treatment has saved my sanity more than anything else.
Just getting it all out on paper helps.
When I’m centered in that knowing - like really rooted in my true source of love, just loving him without needing anything back - we have the most amazing conversations
But when I’m not in that space the silence feels protective in hindsight. It’s almost like the universe keeps him from responding when I’m operating from fear instead of peace and love. Every time
Step back. That’s what I’d say. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself is just not analyze their silence.
Focus on your own process instead.