I struggle a lot with patience. A lot.
My twin somehow can be patient with anyone. Anyone. Doesn’t matter how hate-filled or stupid the things they are saying are. She can smile, tell them it’s okay and see where it comes from.
Two years of actively working on it and… I’m still below average, but I’m a lot better than I was. Still a work in progress.
The biggest change for me has been reaching a place of peaceful acceptance after years of struggle. I no longer put my twin on a pedestal like some untouchable divine being, and I can clearly see their human flaws while still loving them. I think our souls needed me to see us as equals, probably mirroring dynamics we’ve healed from past lifetimes together. I went from complete desperation to genuine contentment with whatever unfolds, while somehow loving them even more deeply than before.
Twin flame awakening can trigger some serious personal transformation, apparently the connection acts as a catalyst for confronting fears and healing wounds. You basically sped up 15 years of therapy in however long it’s been since meeting them. The book, the art, the music, your creativity is clearly waking up alongside everything else.
…I must admit that I’m at the verge of giving up right now (3 years no contact, and I’m in my mid 20s in an Asian country). But ever since we separated, I’ve never discovered so much of myself that I had never considered/repressed in my younger years, being a kid all over again in an adult body. So. Many. Choices.
There’s like, a side plot that also contributes to this development though. I’ve been fearing this one guy (mutual friend of ours) for the longest time for no reason - and then I discovered the reason - I reacted so horribly it’s definitely one of the factors to our separation. I feel like I’ve been released from my shackles to not walk on eggshells anymore since twin walked away.
Maybe my twin is only a karmic or catalyst. But I will forever be indebted to them.
First was my abandonment wounds which were violently triggered by them withdrawing. And at the same time the so-called friends I had and my therapist and even my neighbours all at once either projected their insecurities on me or made unfair judgements about me without hearing me out (another massive wound for me). So all at once, I had to face all of that and figure out how to separate my past traumas from what was presently happening to me, and other people’s judgements from what I knew deep down to be true.
Then, my spiritual Awakening happened and I changed so so much seemingly overnight. That inclination had always been there for me but I had spent so much time in spaces that looked down on spirituality / was raised in a religion that was very restrictive that I just never felt able to own the call. But then the day after they had shut the door on me, I started intuitively reading tarot (I will never forget that they came up as my ten of cups in my first ever self-led reading) and conducting meditative journeys that led me to the wounded parts of me so I could work with them and find them their peace, I began to receive visitors in visions and dreams who gave me some info about our origins, which I’m still working on figuring out. I worked with Saturn, and Jupiter, and Venus. I stumbled onto the language of twin flames and everything clicked into place. Then the dreams came and they helped me heal even more. I finally was able to forgive my father and release my connection to his darkness and festering wounds that he refused to ever acknowledge or work to heal. I finally made peace with the boundaries I seemed to “out of nowhere” set with former friends and former partners who had feasted on my energy. And so so much more. It was like a top-to-bottom clear out.
Before them I was a serial daydreamer. When anything painful was going on in my life, I’d find a way to escape when the volume got too loud. I have felt every moment of our separation, every trauma anniversary, every painful comment or act I’ve been on the receiving end of. I’ve been made to sit with it all and feel every bit of it. And I have felt my twin’s presence every single day since we first met. They’ve made it physically impossible for me to hide from any of the heaviness. I don’t even know how I did it, but all of the work that our separation had forced me to do had made me able to face my nightmares without falling apart.
That was another thing: since meeting them, I’ve had more vivid dreams and nightmares than any other point in my life. They were recurring and they even played out as continuous episodes, even to the point where I’d recall memories from previous dreams while dreaming. But they all led to me healing something massive. And they were always there in some form to hold my hand as I faced the ghosts that haunted me.
I also feel I’ve changed physically as well. Even in the height of my initial separation distress, the first time my mother saw me since I’d met my twin, unprovoked, she said I looked more at peace than ever before. There have been times I’ve looked in the mirror and I’ve been overwhelmed by my reflection and I realised I was seeing myself through their eyes. And as someone who’s genderqueer, when I look at myself in the mirror, more and more I see me.
Even some of the most ridiculously trivial things we spoke about, like the fact that I hate the rain but also can’t stand umbrellas. I finally sorted out getting a raincoat and the past few times I’ve gone out, it has rained and while I still hate the rain, I can handle it so much better than before.
I’ve done so many things that I was scared of doing for years or had been avoiding. And it keeps on going. They’ve given me the strength to change so much, and I hope that I’m doing the same for them. I am not at all the person I was when we first met. And I’m grateful. It’s maybe not how I wanted the journey to begin but I can’t even sit and fantasise about a version of our story where they didn’t go away to heal because I feel more and more just how necessary it’s been.
After meeting mine, I started taking my health more seriously. I conquered all of my addictions. I cut certain people and things out of my life. I took a break from creative endeavors because the creative I was before was shaped by others rather than myself. I started reading, playing video games, and watching shows again. I got my first real job in years. I started spending time with friends again. I even got a new car (used, but I’ve been carless for 7 months). I got back in touch with my spirituality. I started prioritizing fun while balancing responsibilities. I stopped needing psychiatric meds (and have been stable since titrating off). We aren’t together romantically and are currently in separation, but she and this journey have changed in me ways I never thought would be possible.
More patient is one of the changes. And right from the start my skin has gotten softer, like I have been using some kind of lotion (never have). I noticed it is even softer then before, like something is shifting or about to.
I had my first session of NEI therapy (neuro emotional integration) last thursday, it was recommended to me heal my fear of hights. This therapy works with past experiences and the subconcious.
We found out that something happened to me at a young age that left me feeling unsafe, that my nervous system is always on guard and my body hasn’t fully incarnated. Finding safety is also my souls purpose. We worked on that first and then looked at karmic contracts still running. There are 4 and the strongest one turned to be with my twin, something from 22 lifetimes ago. We were a couple and he was killed when we were robbed leaving me in an unsafe situation. The contract was cleared and that felt so good. In the days after more stuff came up that I could let go or that is still processing to go. I can’t wait for the next session.
It has been a year since we really opened up to eachother, and only 3 months since we confessed our feelings. In that time so much has changed for both of us. I’ll speak for my changes.
I am in a karmic relationship that I allowed to destroy my inspiration. Art, writing, singing, etc had always been a BIG part of me. I started drawing since I can remember, and it was an all-consuming part of me. My karmic and I even met through our art. Quickly into the relationship my karmic changed and started overly criticizing my art and everything I did. I allowed that to continue because I didn’t know how to handle it, and I stopped doing art all together for about 15 years.
One of the first things that happened when I met my twin was I started to do art again. We weren’t even really talking, just observing through social media, and then he started to encourage me outright. We talked more and more and we both found that spark of inspiration again. I stopped caring about what my karmic thought about it and focused on what I wanted to express.
Meeting my twin showed me what I had been putting up with, where I lost myself, and is helping me find who I am again.
Even life-long phobias are quickly dissipating for both of us, anxieties are clearing, bad habits were the first to go.
I reconnected with friends that had fallen away when I met my karmic, and that itself is so healing.
I started therapy. Previous difficult conversations that would trigger a freeze response in me no longer do that, and I’m able to accurately speak my mind, needs, and boundaries.
I’m working out and taking better care of myself. I’m advancing in my career lol it just seems like everything.
Well. We separated in September 2021. I felt the beginnings of a spiritual shift within a week…a shift which continues and evolves. I came to realise it’s a dark night of the soul and all that entails.
January 2022 I finally quit my job of (nearly) ten years, which had been running me into the ground and caused a series of health issues. After that I felt peace and not just happiness but genuine contentment for the first time in my adult life (I was 41 at the time). Remained unemployed for several years with chronic fatigue. I started to enjoy life and the time out from working. I recharged. I started to reconnect with myself, which I sorely needed. I got out and about, walking, biking and exploring. I enjoyed my own company, doing things on my own.
Fast forward to 2025, I started to sort out my various health issues and began general self-improvement. I sought group and one-on-one counselling for mental health. I got new glasses, which I was overdue for by nine years. I started to realise I have ADHD, which I started medication for.
And on into 2026. Daily physical activity became a thing for me. I continued with my weekly swimming. I added long bike rides to my routine, 30+km each ride. In March I returned to work after four years, which was no easy task but I found the motivation within me. And there’s so much more besides.
Even with the dark night of the soul going on and missing my twin like crazy all day every day I am gradually finding myself at peace with where I’m at. I’m handling the being without her better, though I do have my sad moments. I have achieved so much, for which I am proud and grateful, and I know there’s so much more to come on my path.
I believe I have the separation from my twin flame to thank for being the catalyst for me consciously wanting to be a better person in as many ways as possible. When we separated I was so hurt and confused and angry. All of that has abated though. All I feel for my twin is pure love and warmth. One day I hope I can tell her to her face just what she means to me.
Just wanted to add…it’s no exaggeration to say a twin flame separation tears you apart. It rips you wide open so you have nothing to hide from yourself anymore. Everything spills out. And you have no choice but to work on yourself. You’re never going to be the same again.