The TF journey is tiring enough before having to hide and mask everything.
You’re filtering everything - what you say about your feelings, why you made certain decisions, where your focus is. It’s like living split in two, and yeah, it gets heavy.
But disclosure can have costs too. Family members disappear without explanation because they don’t know how to relate to you anymore. Others actively interfere because they think they’re protecting you - they might contact your twin directly, stage interventions, apply constant emotional pressure to end it. When you’re already in separation and questioning everything yourself, having the people you trust most confirm your doubts can completely destabilize you.
BUT…
And this is a big but.
If they feel like they need to do this… that’s probably a good thing.
If you tell your friends and family that you feel this person is important to you and you’re working on yourself to get back together. Nobody will have a problem with that.
The calculation isn’t really “honesty vs. dishonesty” like it feels. You’re not lying by not telling them - you’re protecting something sacred from people who don’t have the framework to understand it. Different relationships serve different purposes. Your parents don’t need to know about your spiritual experiences any more than they need to know details of your sex life. Some things are private not because they’re shameful but because they’re sacred.