I’m struggling with whether to tell my family and friends about my TF connection. I know at least one of them really understands this stuff, and she’s been my rock and helped me through it, but others can tell something is going on, and I don’t know what to tell them.
Sometimes the isolation of keeping it to myself feels… a lot, but I worry that trying to explain something this intense and spiritual might just create more distance. It’s hard to understand for someone who hasn’t seen it for themselves (I know I wouldn’t have understood it), and it must be so much worse now after the whole TFU cult thing.
For those who’ve opened up about it - did it actually help or did you wish you’d kept it private?
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It would probably depend on the quality of your relationships with those around you. I don’t keep things from those I care about, but I also don’t feel the need to share the terminology and details.
Yes, partly because of that documentary. The sensible ones would understand the difference, but it’s not a discussion I think I need.
I explain the strength of the connection. I could probably use the term “real soulmate” and that would be enough for them to understand everything they need to.
It’s not technically accurate, but it doesn’t matter. Unless I know for sure that person is on some kind of journey where the full story would help them.
The people closest to you have probably already picked up on the shifts happening in your life. They’re seeing that something is different, right?
When I started sharing, I wasn’t looking for validation or trying to convince anyone. I’d already built a solid foundation - career, interests, other relationships that matter. When you’re grounded like that, talking about the spiritual stuff doesn’t feel like you’re defending yourself, I think that’s the important bit.
I didn’t lead with ‘twin flame’ terminology or heavy spiritual concepts. I started with what they already knew - that I’d fallen in love, that I was going through something big. Then I just let it unfold naturally over time as they asked questions.
Start with the person who already gets it, like your friend. Let that be your safe space. For the others who are noticing changes, you don’t need to explain everything at once. Just share what feels authentic in the moment. The right people will lean in. Some won’t, and that’s harder than I expected.
I usually just say ‘I’m going through a spiritual awakening right now’ when people ask what’s going on. It’s honest but doesn’t require explaining the whole twin flame thing.
Some people are ready to hear about it… others aren’t. I just share what feels right depending on who I’m talking to. Helps me be real about what I’m dealing with without needing everyone to get it.
The Netflix documentary really did a number on public perception, and now saying “twin flame” to most people immediately makes them think of that cult where people got pressured into gender transitions and stalking. For most of us, it’s pretty frustrating because it’s contaminated a legitimate spiritual concept with this… extreme corruption.
I feel for anyone involved with that group, but I also feel for anyone who struggles to open up to friends and family because of it. It’s not like most of us would have a problem telling friends that we had found Jesus or had decided to become a vegetarian.
Nobody can really tell you for sure whether it’s a good idea. Some tell their families and regret it. The pattern is predictable - they get looked at like they’ve lost their mind, especially if there’s any runner-chaser dynamic happening or if your person is unavailable in some way. To an outside observer, it just looks like you’re obsessed with someone who doesn’t want you.
And for some, that genuinely might be the case. Twin flames are rare, and some people latch onto the term because they heard it on social media.
For others, they go through an incredibly hard journey, including the dark night of the soul and plenty of tears… and they’re forced to do it alone. The isolation of keeping it private is real and it does weigh on you. But most people find that the isolation of being misunderstood and actively discouraged is actually worse. At least when you’re private about it, you’re not constantly defending your reality or having people work behind the scenes to “save” you from what they see as delusion.
Your friend who understands - that’s gold. Hold onto that. Most of us have found our real support in communities like this one, not from our families.
The TF journey is tiring enough before having to hide and mask everything.
You’re filtering everything - what you say about your feelings, why you made certain decisions, where your focus is. It’s like living split in two, and yeah, it gets heavy.
But disclosure can have costs too. Family members disappear without explanation because they don’t know how to relate to you anymore. Others actively interfere because they think they’re protecting you - they might contact your twin directly, stage interventions, apply constant emotional pressure to end it. When you’re already in separation and questioning everything yourself, having the people you trust most confirm your doubts can completely destabilize you.
BUT…
And this is a big but.
If they feel like they need to do this… that’s probably a good thing.
If you tell your friends and family that you feel this person is important to you and you’re working on yourself to get back together. Nobody will have a problem with that.
The calculation isn’t really “honesty vs. dishonesty” like it feels. You’re not lying by not telling them - you’re protecting something sacred from people who don’t have the framework to understand it. Different relationships serve different purposes. Your parents don’t need to know about your spiritual experiences any more than they need to know details of your sex life. Some things are private not because they’re shameful but because they’re sacred.
There’s a specific type of loneliness that comes with this that’s hard to describe to people who haven’t been through it. That’s why spaces like this are so important.
You feel incredibly connected to another person while simultaneously being completely alone in your experience of that connection. The central organizing experience of your life is something you can’t talk about with anyone in your regular life.
It’s not that nobody else wants to help. It’s just incredibly hard to understand.
I hear you on this struggle. I’ve been in the same spot, and I learned the hard way that most people just aren’t ready to understand. When I opened up to family and friends about my connection, the responses ranged from uncomfortable silence to outright concern about my mental health. People who’d known me my whole life suddenly looked at me like I’d lost touch with reality. The words ‘obsessed,’ ‘unhealthy,’ and ‘you need therapy’ came up more than once.
It was painful to realize that sharing something so important to me would make the people I love question my sanity. The isolation you’re feeling is real, and it’s one of the hardest parts of this. But trying to explain something unexplainable might make that loneliness worse.
For everyone else, you can acknowledge something’s happening in your life, personal growth, spiritual stuff, working through some deep things, without giving them the full twin flame explanation. The right people will show up who understand. Being misunderstood by others doesn’t make your experience any less real.
There’s this weird gap, even when you tell someone who’s spiritually aware and wants to support you. They can witness the synchronicities, see the intensity, and believe what you’re telling them. But they still can’t fully grasp what you’re experiencing internally.
The deepest parts of this experience seem to exist in a language only twin flames speak. Sometimes, only your twin would truly understand what certain moments meant to you. Even others here in the collective going through the same journey, won’t go through exactly the same things.
I would lean on whatever support you can and remember that people often have your best interests at heart.
The masculine wound often involves learning to be discerning about who we let into our inner world. Not everyone needs access to our most vulnerable spaces. If others are sensing something’s going on, you don’t owe them the full story. A simple ‘I’m working through some personal growth stuff’ can be enough. Save the deeper sharing for people who’ve proven they can hold space for spiritual experiences without judgment.
I haven’t told anyone outside of one close friend who gets it. Growing up with that whole ‘keep your feelings to yourself’ mentality really trained me to just bottle everything up instead of reaching out. But that approach has made this path so much lonelier than it needs to be. I don’t know if I actually value privacy that much or if I’m just scared of being vulnerable.
I share different parts of this with different people. My closest friend hears about all the deeper spiritual stuff, but my family just gets the surface-level challenges. Some things feel too sacred to explain to everyone. What helps is knowing the person who understands the spiritual side doesn’t need to be part of my regular daily life. That way, I can be vulnerable about it without worrying about judgment spilling into other relationships.
Sounds like you’re handling it fine with that one friend who gets it. The others who notice something’s up probably don’t need the full story anyway, just enough to know you’re dealing with something significant right now.
There’s honestly no ‘safe’ group when it comes to sharing this. Even when I opened up to friends who are into spiritual stuff, people who meditate, work with energy, believe in soul connections, there was still this underlying concern about whether I was ‘okay.’
People can handle spiritual topics up to a point, but the TF process is more intense than what most people are used to. The friend who gets it for you? Hold onto that connection. But I’d be really careful about widening that circle just to ease the isolation. In my experience, it sometimes made the loneliness worse - now I felt misunderstood and judged by people I cared about.
The isolation is brutal, though, I won’t pretend it isn’t.
Maybe instead of explaining the TF aspect, you could share what you’re going through emotionally without the full context? Like ‘I’m processing something really intense right now’ gives them something without opening yourself up to the inevitable ‘have you considered therapy?’ conversation.
Therapy can help with processing, but that’s not really the point when someone questions your entire experience.
The cult documentary definitely made this harder for all of us. People hear ‘twin flame’ now and immediately think manipulation and delusion.
One of the worst things that the group did was trying to separate members from their families. We’re human. We need support and help from those around us (probably why most of us are here).
I started dropping hints before saying anything directly - just mentioning synchronicities or energy shifts to see how people reacted. My mom surprised me by opening up about her own unexplainable connection from decades ago that she never had words for.
I spilled the beans to my Atheist ex-husband when we still lived together still because he found out I had feelings for my twin (his best friend ) I felt I owed him the truth of what and why it was happening out of respect and care for how it affected him. I had hoped understanding the nature of those feelings would lessen his pain. I also hoped maybe it meant I was supposed to help him along his own journey of healing and growing with what I learned, and therefore also lessening his pain.
Naive, I know, but I hate seeing people in pain and I felt I had to try.
Anyway, backfired. I didn’t say anything crazier than what a normal religious person might say about souls and healing, but he called me insane and all kinds of horrible stuff and said I needed to be committed which did tremendous damage to me internally for years, as I already was worried I was insane experiencing this journey (Thank goodness my twin confirmed in the end).
If you have a good friend or family inclined towards already being open, I’d tell them. Because as a previous post said, we need all the support we can get on this journey, so grab it if you can.
I keep thinking I’d need to do damage control prep first, or explain the context, but that almost makes it worse. Just wondering if anyone has experienced that.
Honestly, I keep it to myself except for maybe one or two people who I trust won’t judge. Everyone else just gets a vague ‘going through some personal growth stuff’ if they ask. The only opinion that really matters is yours and your twin’s (if you’re in contact). This experience is about your own inner work and healing, not what other people think.
I would love to tell just one person but I don’t think it would go well. A couple of friends know that there’s a guy and I told one we have a spiritual connection and she just laughed. This was on chat btw she moved overseas so haven’t seen her for a while. I would love to have real life support because I’m quite new to all this and feeling stuck but at the same time they probably wouldn’t get it.
I’ve learned the hard way that sharing this with people outside the experience just makes the isolation worse. I opened up to someone I trusted, someone I thought would at least try to understand, and got… silence. Not judgment exactly, but that careful, clinical distance that somehow feels worse. Like they’re humoring you while mentally diagnosing you. And maybe that’s fair. Maybe we do sound unhinged trying to explain something that doesn’t fit into how people normally think about love and connection.
How do you tell someone that you’ve felt things with another person that go beyond anything you’ve experienced before, without sounding like you’re just romanticizing an unhealthy attachment?
Sometimes I wish I could unknow it all. Go back to when it was just a complicated relationship that didn’t work out, before I recognized the signs. That ignorance feels like it would hurt less than knowing the depth of what this is while being unable to make anyone else see it. But then I’d be pretending. And I’ve done enough of that already. The truth is, spaces like this are probably the only place where you don’t have to translate your experience into something more palatable. Where people understand the isolation, even if the details are different.
I don’t have an answer for you about whether to tell them. Just be prepared for the silence to feel heavier than the secret did.
) I felt I owed him the truth of what and why it was happening out of respect and care for how it affected him. I had hoped understanding the nature of those feelings would lessen his pain. I also hoped maybe it meant I was supposed to help him along his own journey of healing and growing with what I learned, and therefore also lessening his pain.