The synchronicities won’t stop - “dark night of the soul” is literally everywhere I look right now. Three different people mentioned it unprompted this week.
My TF ghosted me completely, and at first, I thought I’d die from the pain, but now I’m sensing this is exactly what needs to happen. There’s a lot of weird energy I don’t know what to do with. The sync numbers, the repeated messages about dark nights and soul awakening - they started right when I hit rock bottom. Or maybe I’m still falling. Is this what ascending feels like? Because it definitely doesn’t feel like the journey I thought I signed up for.
I think I’m feeling calmer, but I don’t know why or what this is.
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Synchronicities ramping up right when you hit bottom is textbook dark night territory.
The dark night of the soul (DNOTS) typically surfaces during separation when your deepest wounds and fears come up, and the pain drives you to search for answers about why it hurts so much. More than a few members here found the forum at exactly this moment in their own journey.
Feeling calmer is your surrender starting to happen (even if you are right in the thick of it). The whole process pushes you toward a deeper understanding. An understanding of yourself, of your journey, of your twin and of your place in the universe as a whole.
Both twins (usually this means runner & chaser at this stage) go through this simultaneously as you mirror this exact sort of energy. It’s likely going to manifest differently for them (unless your separation has been especially drawn out), but it’s going to be rough for them. At least as the more awakened one, you know why this is happening.
The real source of pain isn’t the relationship - it’s at the soul level, reflecting our separation from Source. Now your real growth hapens. Your self love. Self work. Let yourself feel everything that comes up. It’s valid and pure. The weirdness you’re describing is normal for this stage.
One of those things that is going to look a little bit different for everyone (and even different for each mirror soul in your relationship) but there are some standard signs and it’s always for the best.
I don’t know if anyone has got to union without going through this.
The synchronicities are being loud for a reason. Spirit doesn’t really do subtle when it’s time for a major shift, which is exactly what the DNOTS is here for.
When everything falls apart like that, it’s Tower card energy. It’s a sudden, necessary collapse of everything you thought was solid. It hurts, but the structure was flawed. The quiet you’re feeling now sounds like The Hermit stepping in, holding his lantern. It’s your call to go inward and find your own light, because the external one has gone. This part of the path is solitary, but it’s where the real guidance comes from.
Take some time for yourself and allow yourself to experience this fully. Whatever comes up is there for a reason. Thoughts, emotions, and yes, those syncs you are being sent are all there to help guide you.
Lean on your guides (and this community if you want to) and know that you can do this. Spirit doesn’t send you for things you are not ready for.
The dark night pushes you to let go of old identities, relationships, careers, habits, or belief systems that once gave your life meaning. For me, it was my entire career path that I had to walk away from. Everything that defined me just fell apart. Couldn’t understand why at the time, but looking back, it had to happen.
The action you take and what you learn from it might not seem to have anything to do with your relationship at all, but it will eventually make sense.
The dark night is about getting rid of ego so your soul can develop further and awaken. It usually happens right before you physically meet your twin or right before some major changes. It is usually a very good change and (as others have said) it can be the last step before you get to union.
But it isn’t always easy and you might go through more than one. Depends on you (and your twin).
Some, most, or all forms of pain and suffering get triggered and then purged during this stage. For me, it brought up every abandonment issue I’d been carrying since childhood. Had to face all of it at once. Worth it, but not an easy thing to do.
What you’re experiencing sounds like the Twin Flame Dark Night. It’s different from other spiritual crises because it’s triggered by that specific separation energy. Everything you thought you knew about yourself gets stripped away while you’re processing the loss of your TF. Like having the other half of your soul stripped away because that’s exactly what happened.
The synchronicities and repeated messages you’re seeing - they’re confirmation that you’re where you need to be right now. This present moment of confusion and falling is the transformation itself.
These dark nights come in waves for twin flames. First, there’s the initial separation shock, then the ego dissolution phase, where you don’t recognize yourself anymore. Sometimes there’s a spiritual disconnection where even your usual practices feel empty. That calm feeling you’re noticing - your soul recognizes that this breakdown is what’s happening right now.
It’s a known part of the process, but terminology gets a bit complicated about whether it would be a “stage” or not. Some people go through it multiple times.
The term “dark night of the soul” isn’t new age; it comes from the 16th-century mystic St. John of the Cross. He described it as a stage of purification the soul goes through on its path to union with the divine. It’s characterized by a profound sense of confusion, helplessness, and feeling like God has withdrawn.
For TFs it’s more of a “passive purification” because it’s not something you can actively work through. It happens to you.
The old mystics saw it as the final “unselfing,” where the ego is stripped away to prepare the soul for a more stable connection. The pain you felt, that feeling of dying from it, is a recognized part of this stripping-away process. It’s meant to clear out everything that isn’t true, everything that stands in the way of union.
It doesn’t mean that everything will be done for you. It doesn’t mean that next week you’re going to automatically be in union. It’s something you need to go through that prepares you for what comes next.
When you’re in that dark night phase and feeling like you’re drowning, sometimes it feels like everything is telling you to surrender and let go. Kind of like how Neo had to let himself fall before he could see the Matrix.
The ghosting feels awful. But if your soul is pulling you toward something (even if it’s just sitting with the pain), maybe trust that pull. I’ve noticed that really dark moments sometimes come right before breakthroughs, especially when those synchronicities keep hitting you with the same message over and over.
They say its darkest before the dawn and that is a cliche for a reason. It’s especially true on this twin flame stage.
This “ascending” you mention feels like this because it’s a kind of death. What’s dying is the egoic sense of self, the illusory identity you had before this. Change and bettering yourself isn’t always light and blissful; it’s often a painful process of shedding what’s no longer needed. The birth of the true self can feel like a complete unraveling of the old one. The syncs are like little lights in the dark, reminding you that there’s a reason you go through this.
Oh, you’re going through the “mild inconvenience” of having your entire reality restructured while your kundalini casually rewires your nervous system. Quick reminder that all the people on TikTok who think it’s trendy to go looking for their twin flame. They are not prepared for the reality of what it takes.
Your ego is dissolving and that creates this weird opening where divine communication comes through stronger. It also means you have to face a lot of truths that you’ve kept hidden from yourself. Everyone does this, there is no human that does not lie to themselves at least a little. I don’t know if anyone other than TFs have to face it in the same way however.
The dark night forces this - it strips away everything you thought you were, so you can find what’s actually real underneath. Both twins go through this, though not always at the same time.
The ghosting part is basically the universe saying ‘surprise, you needed to completely dissolve who you thought you were.’ Definitely what we all meant when we asked for a spiritual awakening.
I know that sounds harsh when you’re in it. The separation mirrors your separation from Source, and healing that original wound is the entire point. Your twin became unavailable because you both needed to stop seeking love externally and find it inside first.
What you’re experiencing sounds like a soul memory awakening. Those synchronicities and messages showing up everywhere could be echoes from past incarnations where you’ve gone through similar dark nights with this soul.
The only way through is surrendering to the process instead of trying to control or logically understand it. Trust that this process is bringing up exactly what both your souls agreed to experience in this lifetime.
The duration varies wildly. Weeks for some, years for others. It ends when you’re actually ready, not when you think you’re ready. The work is learning to hold yourself through this instead of reaching for them to make it stop.
When you hit that rock bottom moment, you became receptive to guidance in a way you weren’t before. Three people mentioning it unprompted in one week is the universe making absolutely sure you understand what’s happening to you.
The soul is learning to drop reliance on external manifestations and go inward. No more TIkTok explainations. Raw understanding. Modern twin flame teachers have mapped it as a formal stage because it’s so consistent across experiences.
Your nervous system is processing the removal of your twin from your physical reality, while your soul knows you’re not actually separate. That creates the weird energy you’re feeling. The pain drives you to search for answers, which is why you found the language for this now instead of six months ago.
When my TF disappeared from my life, I fought against it hard at first. The separation ended up being what triggered everything else, though.
My first advice is to try taking a break from social media for 48 hours - mute all that TF/dark night content. It’ll help you figure out if you’re seeing real synchronicity or just the Baader-Meinhof effect.
The pain of the separation phase is nothing compared to the dark night of the soul. Separation hurt like hell, but at least I understood what I was grieving. With DNOTs… you feel trapped like you’re imprisoned with no key, in a constant state of distress. Everything feels empty and pointless.
At least if you see it coming and spot the signs you can make it a bit easier on yourself because you know why it’s hapening and you know there’s a light at the end of this tunnel.
It does sound similar to DNotS because you speak about hitting rock bottom. That’s precisely where it takes you. And every round you go through breaks right through to a NEW rock bottom you didn’t know you could reach.
At some point you’ll likely begin to look harder at what is causing you pain, explore it thoroughly, trace it back to core memories of the original trauma, reparent yourself at that age in that memory (inner child healing), which will then heal that core wound and you’ll begin climbing out of that hole to a better place than where you began.
I’ve had several DNotS experiences in the past 2 years since awakening, and I’ve healed so much now I can vouch it works as advertised if you really lean into the pain and do the work to heal it. I feel so much more whole, grounded, grateful and happy most days. I can handle things that caused me stress in the past much better.
But while you’re in it….hoo boy…all you can see is that rock bottom and everything feels so hopeless. You’ll conquer it. You’ll see. Your higher self set this in your path because they knew you could handle it.
The calm you’re experiencing could be your ego starting to dissolve. Not full ego death, more like it’s slowly fading.
When my TF disappeared, weeks 3-5 were oddly peaceful compared to the hell of weeks 1-2. Dark night strips away illusions while ego dissolution strips away the person holding them. You might be in what some call the void state - that empty space between who you were and whoever comes next.
What follows the dark night is the surrender stage, where you stop obsessing and focus entirely on your own healing. Then alignment, where both twins reach matching frequencies. Duration depends completely on how quickly you move through the healing work, and it can recur if deeper layers need clearing.
Yeah the ghosting sped things up for me too. Mine did the same thing and I ended up finding kundalini yoga because of it. I had the exact same thing with the synchronicities ramping up during the worst pain. 11:11 everywhere, his name popping up in the most random places.
Now I can feel energy moving through chakras I didn’t know were blocked. Have you had any physical symptoms? I started getting this intense heat in my spine whenever I thought about them. Then it turned into this weird humming in my chest that only goes away when I meditate.
I also felt that strange calm underneath the suffering - like some part of me knew I was exactly where I needed to be even though I was falling apart. For me, it lasted about 8 months before things shifted. The ego death part was no joke but I fought against it hard which is why it took so long.
Rock bottom is the doorway. I’ve seen this pattern so many times - the worst pain precedes the biggest breakthrough.
Syncs are confirming you’re on the right path and doing something right to get yourself to this point. Your higher self is trying to get your attention through every channel available. The dark night burns away everything false so what’s real can emerge. Trust it.
What you’re describing with the ghosting and synchronicities sounds like classic mirror work.
That energy is showing you where you’ve been abandoning yourself, probably way before your TF showed up. The ghosting reflects your own patterns of self-abandonment. It hurts like hell because it’s hitting every wound around worthiness and being left behind that’s been sitting there.
The fact that you’re feeling calmer while confused sounds like the right progress.
Pay attention to the difference between this and clinical depression.
With a dark night, you can often still function in other parts of your life, like work or friendships, even if you feel spiritually empty. With depression, it tends to impair all areas of functioning. If you can’t get out of bed, that’s a different conversation
