Most people don’t react well when you bring this up. There’s a certain look you get, kind of like you’ve just announced you’re moving to Mars next Tuesday. The one person who’d get it without thinking, I’ve lost the plot, is the twin themselves. And naturally, they’re currently doing their best impression of someone who doesn’t check their phone.
It’s a lonely spot sometimes. You’ve got this massive thing happening and the options are: say nothing and feel like you’re going to burst, or say something and watch people mentally calculate how concerned they should be about you. That one friend you mentioned who understands, hold onto that. It’s more than most of us have outside of forums like this one.
The close friends that know about my situation with my Twin just think it is another “complicated relationship gone awry”. But, I did get the opportunity to tell one of my close friends the real “truth”. I can’t quite explain why of all my friends, it was her. But I had a gut feeling that she would get it, that she would understand.
It was over a catch up dinner (she lives in a different state from me). She was visiting for work. I don’t see her often, but speak to her through text regularly. She was asking me how things were with my Twin, and I was updating her about the situation. At that point, my Twin and I were already in no contact. Then I asked her if she had ever heard of the concept of Twin Flames. And she replied that she hadn’t. So I proceeded to briefly explain it to her, and told her that I felt that JB is my Twin. I remember how she looked at me, and smiled as she replied, “You know, when you were telling me your story, I literally got goosebumps. I don’t know much about Twin Flames, but it sounds to me that this is the reason the both of you are going through what you are going through. It sounds that you definitely are each other’s Twin Flames.” And it wasn’t that I needed her to validate my story, but it was nice to be heard and not mocked or given that look of disbelief.
I should add that my friend is by no means a spiritual person. She is incredibly grounded and realistic. So for her to say that was heartwarming. So I guess I would say for me, it helped.
You can talk about what’s happening without using ‘twin flame’ language, especially since that term has so much baggage now. When people notice you’ve changed, just share what feels true. Talk about the person, the connection, what you’re going through. Save the spiritual stuff for people who actually understand, like your friend who’s been there for you.
This experience is so personal that most people won’t get it unless they’ve been through something similar. You can try to explain, but sometimes that feels worse than not saying anything at all. The loneliness can be tough. Keeping something this big to yourself is hard. But I think the question is more about who in your life can handle hearing this without judgment or needing to understand every detail.
Those are the people worth opening up to. Everyone else doesn’t need to know right now.
I keep it mostly private because when I’m deep in the connection, I sometimes blurt out observations or ask questions that sound completely out of left field to people who don’t get it. Easier than having to constantly filter myself or explain why I’m suddenly asking about synchronicities and soul contracts.
Well, I did tell my sister. In the first place she of course didnt understand and didn’t take it for real. Weeks later she became interested, but again didn’t reaaly understand. Just like you said, it must be really hard to understand for someone who has never experienced about it. I mean, I didn’t believe it myself what happened to me. It was so out of reach and overwhelming. Later I figuered out that a colleague of mine felt that something was different with me. I have to mention my other half is a colleague as well. Somthing was recognized in interacting between the two of us. I think its not a matter of family who understands you. I also think its up to me,whom I can trust and who is able to understand and believe something so divine.
I’ve got different versions of my story depending on who I’m talking to. My one friend who’s into spiritual stuff gets the full twin flame explanation, but most people just hear ‘someone I’m working through feelings about’ when they ask why I seem off.
Not everyone needs to understand this connection. Sometimes you just have to let go of needing other people to get it.
I made the mistake of telling my aunt and now she sends me crystal recommendations and YouTube videos daily. Keeping it secret was way less exhausting than this.
Has anyone tried just calling it a ‘deep connection’ or ‘soulmate’ instead? I know it’s not the same thing but do you really need to get into the nitty gritty details?
I’ve simply resorted to calling them “the other me”. Clean and simple.
Like many will tell you, the longer you avoid opening up and acknowledging the connection, the more difficult and painful it becomes to keep hidden.
I don’t care if you’re John Jones on all the steroids in the world. Even he has his limits and so do you.
The emotions and truth will come out eventually. The universe has plenty of ways to make that happen! So spare yourself the pain and anguish and just come clean.
Even if others don’t get it or understand, it’s just extra weight of your chest.
I could never tell my family. They’d outright dismiss it. One friend knows there’s a guy at work and was a bit funny about that, and the age difference. Another friend, I told her we have a spiritual connection and she kinda laughed a bit so I haven’t expanded on that. Would be nice to have one friend who would listen without judging or thinking I’ve lost it, oh well.
I didnt tell them but they found out anyway due to my emotional breakdown due to seperation this was around 2012 id tell them if I was you just to have support you dont need to tell them the whole story about its spiritual nature but id tell them just for support
I chose to talk about it selectively. Finally, there was one person I could truly talk to. She not only understood it, but she could also offer advice from a spiritual perspective. She said she understood why I found it hard to talk about it. It was because it felt sacred and something to protect from negativity, she said.
Unfortunately, she was terminally ill, and both she and I shared our deepest feelings, emotions, and traumas. We helped each other, and that felt like spiritual growth for both of us.
My mother would not understand. She told me I was in a cult after I went on a spiritual retreat overseas. I was sitting on her sofa at the time, if I was in a cult I wouldn’t be hanging out with family!
Just wondering if you have any family members who are spiritual or even just open minded? Maybe someone who might get it a bit or sympathise with what you’re going through?
My (tiny) family isn’t spiritual at all. Not religious either although we went to church going up. They would not understand this at all and would probably tell me I’m imagining it (mother) or mental (sibling). I don’t think they’d show curiousity. I told my mother I’m going through some spiritual stuff at the same time as our family bereavement and she concluded I’d been messing around with occult matters.
My mother seems to flip in and out. Sometimes she’ll be really open to things, but then, out of the blue, randomly shut down some ideas.
Most of them are never spiritual. I’m still pretty open about everything spiritual in my life, and I wouldn’t get judgment. They wouldn’t know how to help me or really have advice but they’ll hold space. I’m grateful for that.
At the end of the day, what matters most isn’t the terminology - it’s the experience of unconditional love. That’s the part people can actually relate to, even if they’ve never heard of twin flames. When you talk about a ‘deep connection’ or ‘soulmate,’ you’re still honoring the truth of what you’re experiencing. You’re just translating it into language that meets people where they are. The unconditional love you’re learning through this journey doesn’t need a specific label to be real or valid.
