I recognized her the first time it happened.. And quickly came to the conclusion that my “reaction” or my “response” wasn’t actually mine at all. Yes, obviously it was me responding with words, and an emotional charge. But certain behavior cues were not mine. For instance - My voice would change as in tone rather the octave stayed the same. It became very feminine, and the deliverance was very specific.. yet not to me. There was even a very slight but deliberate tilt of the head, and I felt very… I guess kinda bitchy. Like, I had come off like a bitch, but really wasn’t necessarily trying to be. But umm.. I am so not that. I don’t get “bitchy” nor do I ever come off that way, because my Masculine energy over sees all interactions in that aspect. Mind you I can be quite the asshole sometimes, and even yes, a literal douche waffle.. but a bitch, nah. That would be •HER• But in all reality… She’s not a bitch. Her presentation causes her to appear as such, and she knows this, and she doesn’t exactly know what to do about it. So I’m trying to get her to accept the fact that, if someone takes her the wrong way, that is on them. I know her so well enough to know that, she doesn’t truly want to come off like that.. however, she knows not what to do or how to go about it, or what it will take to change it. So she’s learned to embrace it as a “defense mechanism” or a way to ward off unwanted flesh covered entities / such as people. Although her ‘go-to’ self soothing technique is to tell herself her kindness is reserved for the ones who she feels deserves it. And boy can she feel it. She just got tired of giving care, concern, and passion to those who did all the things a person shouldn’t do, as to reciprocate. But luckily I just so happen to know all the things, and I am well equipped to handle such complexity. I am mutha fuckin’ Master in that area. In her area. 

I remember the moment she finally felt ok with being a bitch even though she wasn’t actually being a bitch. Well.. (maybe that time, she kinda was-on purpose) But, we were sharing needles and threads by way of energetic exchange, and were in the same vicinity.. A client comes to the window, and as they started that way, she gently yet firmly closes the window. The woman gets there and stands looking at her, and she just - blewp - threw up her pointer finger, in a manner. Like -jjjoooop ‘Hold up’ -Errrrrttt- ‘You’re gonna hafta wait’ -doop- ‘Uno momento’ -Skuuurrrrttt- ‘Hold the hell on’
And I mean hell, she was on the phone after all.. so.
Anyways… That instance happened not long after we first met in person, in the very beginning stages of our connection. But I knew it then too so, it didn’t take shit for me to catch on when she be taking over me. I legitimately believe that she travels through me by way of possession, sometimes demonic, most times it’s simply by way of “Tapping In” I’ll be sitting alone having a full on conversation with her via telepathy, and it just happens. Her responses come through me. As well as physically.. Certain hand movements, or say I’m out for a stroll and suddenly I’ll start walking like her. (Not even 100% sure exactly how it is she walks, however I know for a fact it isn’t my walk. Not my strut. Not my pimp limp. Not my carrying heavy artillery. Not my arm swings. I definitely don’t make it a point to plant the back of my foot to the ground first, or ever so smoothly flow my heel to my toes. I can bet you her feet kill after all those consistent steps. Hmmm - wouldn’t you know, I am incredibly well rounded in providing a massage for the ultimate relief as well as some extensive rejuvenation. Only for her though. I feel like lately, she’s been wanting someone to rub those feet after some days be long as shit.. and she be wearing the wrong shoes for the occasion. It’s funny cause I do it too. I be wearing Chuck’s to work and probably about 11 times outta 11 , I literally almost die at the fountain by slipping and sliding on the wet floor. It’s terrifying for like a split second. Sheesh
Anyways.. She possesses me man. That’s just all there is to it. She don’t wait for an invitation. She ain’t waiting to be let in. She won’t knock. And she don’t need no mutha fuckin’ reservations. How you reserve something that’s already yours..? She’s the lock. I am the key. No reason to figure out a way in, when she the only one on the map. Whatever direction she wanna go, that’s where the fuck we goin. She in me, and I can’t get her out. She bout 6 years behind on rent, and somehow got all the bills in her name.. so can’t evict her ass neither. Don’t want to either.
Because it’s shit like that, when she takes hold of me.. and I reciprocate from the sacral energy.. and suddenly there’s a twitch. The whole right side of my body. But nah nah. Not me. It ain’t come from me.
It’s her and that mutha fuckin’ energy baby