Been lurking and seeing posts about the same thing I’ve been chewing on for years (yes, I’m that person who takes forever to figure things out, lol). The biggest shift for me was realizing this connection works backwards from every other relationship I’ve had. The harder I gripped, the more distant he got. The second I’d finally collapse on the couch and decide to just live my life, I’d get a random text out of nowhere. The pattern was too consistent to be coincidence.
What’s helped me most is catching myself when I’m spiraling into obsessive thinking (which, honestly, happens about 47 times a day). When I pull focus back to my own little world—friends and the embarrassing amount of reality TV I watch—things tend to settle on his end too. Part of why this dynamic feels so impossible is that we’re wired to chase what runs, and unlearning that instinct feels like trying to write with my non-dominant hand. Still pretty messy at it.