Okay, real talk, though, when you say he’s ‘not all the way healed,’ what specifically are you seeing that tells you that? Is it emotional unavailability, repeating old patterns, or just your intuition flagging something?
I ask because, honestly, sometimes we set this impossible ‘fully healed’ standard that even WE haven’t hit, and it becomes a way to keep the reunion at arm’s length without realizing it. It’s an easy trap for us to fall into of always looking externally to them because our own ego doesn’t see it in ourselves because the TF healing is a two way street and ours is the hardest thing we have to deal with because we have to see it first.
You could look at this as an active reunion - both of you healing in real-time together rather than showing up as some polished final versions. Might be worth sitting with what ‘healed enough’ actually looks like for you specifically, because that clarity will help you know whether to open the door or ask him to keep working first.