You’re certainly not alone. These are from today alone:
Divine masculines often stay in matrix mode after awakening: career, distractions, or karmic partners, anything to avoid facing emotions. They feel the pull but pick the easy, controllable path. Emotions scare them. Runner/chaser flips eventually, and karmics expire once the lesson’s learned. No real growth there. It catches up. Right now, it’s about you. The hurt highlights your abandonment wounds and self-worth. Healing them raises his vibe too; your growth is shared at the soul level.