Sending you love and strength. Everything happens for a reason, as cliche as that sounds. I’m going through the same at the moment too
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Today I had a sudden flash of grief, sadness, longing for him, I needed to call him and I did (spoke on his answering machine). I cryingly said I wanted to at least hear his voice again, talk a little about what we are doing… We haven’t had any normal conversation since December 2025. It was 99% silence and the rest was me reaching out and him having a few rather cold, walled-up words for me.
He actually answered but said that this is not ok, that I need to stop reaching out, that we had agreed on no contact for forever, that he ignores and doesn’t read the stuff I have been sending him after that agreement, that I need to live without him and if I don’t stop he will have to take legal measures. He said it so convincingly that I was baffled. He was making me doubt everything - the whole connection, my own perception… Gaslighting in the finest!
My feelings, my perception of his energy, dreams, his behaviour over the last several years (before separation), the many twin flame numbers, the twin flame readings… all give a consistent picture. That we are twins and that we are both conscious of it (though he not so much). But his behaviour today seems to indicate that he is either
- the greatest showman in the world (unlikely; I’ve seen him fail at pretending what he is not repeatedly before separation)
- completely oblivious of our connection and believing what he says,
- not my twin and I’m living inside an illusion since at least the beginning of this year.
Regarding 2:
How is that possible?
How can a human being be so polarized inside himself without being physically ripped apart? Whenever the distance inside me between what I feel and how I act becomes too great, I HAVE to speak out, show my feelings, adjust my behaviour. It’s IMPOSSIBLE for me to live in such tension, no matter how many masks I need to shed for it, how much I hate losing control, how much I’m afraid of the unknown outcome…
This leaves only option 3…
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So let’s just say that after we both showed each other that we liked each other (non-verbally) things got pretty tense between us and I backed off because I didn’t want them to feel uncomfortable and the environment that we were in, it was a good call to back off. And I thought my TF was going to back off as well and just remain professional but instead.. my TF just kept coming around me more.. it was almost like this magnetic pull that wouldn’t allow them to stay away. And I tested it out too.. spent 3 days in a row backing off and every time they were not going to let me do so. And it got to the point where you’d think they’d definitely back off when it came to any physical touch but instead it was quite the opposite.. it was almost like they were finding excuses to engage in the physical touch even more.
Such strange occurrences that just didn’t make a whole lot of sense when I could clearly tell they were scared of the connection.
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my TF was the VP of IT department, so he has access to everything.
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He was supposed to buy a new software whereas I came to the company to use it and to teach others. He never bought it and didn’t buy the necessary laptop that I was supposed to work on. Always wondered if he did this on purpose. Whenever I asked him, he always lied to me with saying he bought it, it’s on the way and the latest, waiting for funding.
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He would wait for me at the building across, see me leaving the building and he would start walking to meet/bump into me in the middle just to say “good morning”. He stopped doing that once he noticed my face when I saw him just waiting there. I was puzzled and little bit creeped out like why is it so hard to make a conversation?
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I always suspected he read all of my Teams chat. Whenever I would tell my work bestie I was gonna go for lunch or go smoking, he would always be at the entrance, just waiting and staring at me or be smoking at the same time.
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He asked me if he can call me, I gave him my number. He never called or texted, ever. Maybe because he didn’t wanted to get caught cheating or just fishing to see if he could get it? (I didn’t know he had a GF at that time)
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Blocked me on everything apart from his FB music page. I would occasionally comment on his music posts and he never liked them even though other people wrote the same things as me and he was happy to give them a like. After 16 years of this, he blocked me on his FB music page early this year, he obviously got triggered by something…back to square one again.
Oh about 26 years ago he told me by phone he was marrying a women when he knew I knew he was gay.
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The things you wondered if they did on purpose are the ones that bewilder me sometimes too. Intentionally being difficult and arguing against you or avoiding something that you need in order to do work. I think it’s all to give themselves the illusion of control because our presence and connection makes them feel so out of it. It’s sad really as we could just be minding our own business, blameless, and they still act as if they resent us. The moments of watching and waiting prove they can’t escape the connection entirely, though, the same as we can’t.
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So many of the replies on this thread detail bizarre things that appear intended to put the other twin off them, make them believe there is no future in the connection, seem intentionally cruel, or appear purposely avoidant and difficult.
I believe they are a response to feeling out of control due to the impact of the connection. They are so desperate to prove it has no effect on them, yet all they end up showing is that it does.
They even go to lengths that don’t make logical sense, such as your twin telling you he was marrying a woman despite him being gay. I’m sorry we have all gone through these things, but it is a kind of relief to know I’m not alone.