Sending you love and strength. Everything happens for a reason, as cliche as that sounds. I’m going through the same at the moment too
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Today I had a sudden flash of grief, sadness, longing for him, I needed to call him and I did (spoke on his answering machine). I cryingly said I wanted to at least hear his voice again, talk a little about what we are doing… We haven’t had any normal conversation since December 2025. It was 99% silence and the rest was me reaching out and him having a few rather cold, walled-up words for me.
He actually answered but said that this is not ok, that I need to stop reaching out, that we had agreed on no contact for forever, that he ignores and doesn’t read the stuff I have been sending him after that agreement, that I need to live without him and if I don’t stop he will have to take legal measures. He said it so convincingly that I was baffled. He was making me doubt everything - the whole connection, my own perception… Gaslighting in the finest!
My feelings, my perception of his energy, dreams, his behaviour over the last several years (before separation), the many twin flame numbers, the twin flame readings… all give a consistent picture. That we are twins and that we are both conscious of it (though he not so much). But his behaviour today seems to indicate that he is either
- the greatest showman in the world (unlikely; I’ve seen him fail at pretending what he is not repeatedly before separation)
- completely oblivious of our connection and believing what he says,
- not my twin and I’m living inside an illusion since at least the beginning of this year.
Regarding 2:
How is that possible?
How can a human being be so polarized inside himself without being physically ripped apart? Whenever the distance inside me between what I feel and how I act becomes too great, I HAVE to speak out, show my feelings, adjust my behaviour. It’s IMPOSSIBLE for me to live in such tension, no matter how many masks I need to shed for it, how much I hate losing control, how much I’m afraid of the unknown outcome…
This leaves only option 3…
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So let’s just say that after we both showed each other that we liked each other (non-verbally) things got pretty tense between us and I backed off because I didn’t want them to feel uncomfortable and the environment that we were in, it was a good call to back off. And I thought my TF was going to back off as well and just remain professional but instead.. my TF just kept coming around me more.. it was almost like this magnetic pull that wouldn’t allow them to stay away. And I tested it out too.. spent 3 days in a row backing off and every time they were not going to let me do so. And it got to the point where you’d think they’d definitely back off when it came to any physical touch but instead it was quite the opposite.. it was almost like they were finding excuses to engage in the physical touch even more.
Such strange occurrences that just didn’t make a whole lot of sense when I could clearly tell they were scared of the connection.
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