Short answer - being on the forum doesn’t mean you haven’t surrendered. Surrender is about your internal state, not whether you’re talking about TF stuff sometimes. In fact, being here might help keep you focused on the parts of your journey you should be working on.
I think a lot of people miss what surrender really means. You’re releasing the need to control the outcome - the timeline, specific circumstances, how they should behave. You can still be aware of the connection and talk about it while being surrendered.
Signs you’re actually there:
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You can go hours or days without obsessing.
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The constant internal chatter and analysis have quieted down.
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You’re not checking their socials or jumping every time your phone buzzes.
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You accept that if you never reunite in this lifetime, you’ll still be okay and complete on your own.
That acceptance is huge. It is hard. It’s also important
Chasing energy is different from just being present here. Chasing is when you’re trying to manipulate the outcome, constantly analyzing their every move, or operating from a desperate/needy place. If you feel like you need them to fill some void in you, that’s not surrender. If you’re giving off that desperation energy, they feel it. True surrender brings this weird calm sort of knowing. The anxiety about abandonment gets replaced by just… peace about it? You trust the process. Your focus shifts to your own life, your own growth, your own interests. You’re making yourself the priority again instead of revolving your whole existence around what they might be thinking.
Being here discussing it is fine. It’s the energy behind your actions that really matters.