…what do you do? I don’t mean to get them back, just in general. I’m talking real headcase, manipulation, twisting, the whole shebang. You don’t even have a chance to put your side because that person has made it so there will be serious consequences if you even try.
I have some ideas what the answer might be - a lesson in detachment, them and/or you having a soul contract, it potentially being a false twin or something other than a true twin - but wanted to talk it out and ask for some advice from people who are going through similar things and don’t think I’m crazy.
As with so many things on this journey, it may be destined and necessary, but it hurts. What is your take on why something like this happens and what would your advice be for getting through it?
That sounds like such a heart wrenching situation, and I am so sorry that you are going through it. I haven’t experienced anything like this with my Twin, but I have in life with other people, so I image the pain that this person is your Twin must be so much more painful.
My two cents worth. And this might be easier said than done, but if this third party is manipulating and twisting the truth, I wouldn’t do anything at all. If your Twin’s current state is that they believe what is being said about you, nothing you do or say will change their perspective. But stand strong and firm in your own truth. The universe has a way of allowing the truth to reveal itself. Sometimes simply standing back is the strongest position you can be in.
I can’t say much about the environment, we both have more or less the same environtment after all, a lot of gossip-mongers, a lot of prejudice, and the worst of it the twin listens to them more than to us. Doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have a fair share of any gossip that circulating around.
It’s a lesson in detachment for sure, but it’s not as simple as you just need to detach, and problem solved. Everybody has different trigger and cause. In my case, it hit hard on my sense of belonging, deep down there is part of me that keep wishing to be accepted in a close-knit friendship or circle.
And, I think, it’s where the lesson show up. When you remember the situation, feeling hurt by it, which part of yourself getting hit the hardest? Is it your sense of justice? Your dignity? Your self-worth? Or else?
Your situation is devastating, you can grief it, you can be angry about it. I think it’s more important to understand what you’re feeling right now, and what could we do about it.
Thank you both for your thoughtful and helpful responses. Yes, my instinct is that not acting but quietly standing firm in my truth is the way to go for now. It’s fricking horrible, but (hopefully) it won’t last forever and the day will come when the truth will make itself known.
Also yes, I am trying to focus on taking care of myself and processing my feelings in a self-loving way. I’m sorry you both have experience of this same nastiness, whether in a situation with others or your twin. It’s something nobody should have to suffer. Thank you so much for replying to my post, you have helped me more than you know
There’s a name for that pattern: DARVO. Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. They deny it happened, attack the person who brought it up, then flip it so they’re the victim and you’re the aggressor. A smear campaign just spreads the same thing through other people.
The need to be heard is real though. Just put it somewhere that isn’t him. Write it down, talk to someone who already knows you. Your side still exists even if no one else sees it right now.
Sometimes the lesson is about discernment, about who actually gets access to that bond. I used to overshare sacred things with people who hadn’t earned that level of trust, then felt shocked when my vulnerability became ammunition.
Thank you, yes, this fits that description. It’s the other person that has done it, not my twin, but at this point it doesn’t make much difference because of the result. Thanks for the validation. I am trying to put my side elsewhere and posting here is part of that. I knew you guys would get it.
Thank you, this is exactly what I’ve done, I think. Some bitter jealous people can’t let you have something as special as this, they’ve got to spoil it. I was too naïve and expressed myself out in the open when I should have protected the connection more. There could also be an element of separation. If we were ready now we would be in union, right? I agree with your assessment about discernment, though, wholeheartedly. I’m sorry you’ve been through having your vulnerability exploited as well.
Boy that’s hard and I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. I’ve had a similar experience where it felt like my TF MIGHT be persuaded by other people about me (like my abusive ex as they remained friends) making false assumptions based on what they say, without being allowed to clarify the truth, or asked first before judging. So when I look at what you said, I see two distinct wounds to look at. For you, it mirrors my own. “Can I tolerate a person having a false belief about me, and still remain steady in myself?” Meaning, can you remain confidently you in the Truth without letting it destabilize you? Because that’s what I learned. Letting such hurtful assumptions stand, without turning to anxious behaviors to “fix” it. And for your TF I see a mirrored lesson. if he’s so easily persuaded by someone else’s opinions, he’s also not staying true to HIMself and HIS truth. He lets external sources dictate his choices. That will take some healing on his end. I am sorry you’re dealing with this. I believe you SHOULD make your truth known to him once. Maybe twice. But then if he still won’t listen, let it go. The Truth WILL come out eventually.
Thank you, I can see what you mean about the mirrored lesson and that’s really insightful. I think my twin was already not fully in their truth and the other party took advantage of that to blind them to the little they did sense or know. I am currently staying in my truth and refusing to be manipulated into being against my twin because that’s what the manipulator wants. I am conscious of not getting into chasing behaviours, though, and trying to allow the revelation of the truth happen organically as it is currently safer in 3D for me that way and I don’t want to impinge on my twin’s healing.
