Why do I feel unexplained irritation during DM awakening?

General
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So here I am. Me and my DM had been in touch for some time (just as friends). But lately, we haven’t been talking much. It’s more like a separation but we are in talking terms.

I think I have done a good bit of healing and inner work and now it’s his turn so I have turned around and gave him space and distance to do his work.

But so suddenly, I feel an unexplained annoyance in me for no apparent reason. I’d snap at minor inconvenience and would feel seconds away from bursting. My temper is short and I normally tend to have a very good control over it.

I feel drawn to silence and feel myself drifting away from group conversation. A strange restlessness settles over me. I felt edged and anxious. It’s strange… I feel it yet I know it’s not mine. I know it’s his.

And I have become quite so much that my friends points it out to me now and asks me if I am alright! It’s so frustrating to feel this chaotic and messy when I know that I have done healing and was calm before he began his work. I am not blaming him… I am happy that he is doing his work.

But the negativity I feel is overwhelming. What is it? How do I calm myself? What is the right thing to do?

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Honestly, it’s eerie how much this mirrors what I went through last year. Word for word almost. The random irritation and snapping over nothing. Suddenly needing to be alone when I’m usually social. Friends kept asking what was wrong, but nothing in my life was.

Healing can be messy. The runner avoids the connection’s intensity because it drags up unhealed stuff like fear of vulnerability, past trauma, ego defenses. Facing it creates massive emotional turbulence. Because of the soul tie and energy cord, his turbulence spills over. You’re constantly exchanging energy, whether you want to or not.

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Surrender isn’t a destination. It’s more like waves. You might feel completely at peace one day and then swing right back into chaser energy the next. Normal.

Those moments of irritation you’re picking up can be mirrors showing you what still needs healing in yourself

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