I’m curious to hear from Twins who are further along on their journey. We know we often hear about separation and reunion phases, the push-pull dynamic. I’d love to hear about those of you who have been on this journey for over 3 years, and/or are in periods of long separations (years), and how you are finding this journey at the point you are at. Do the signs and synchronicities get less intense, and/or do you feel that you’ve reached the point of true surrender and how did you manage to get yourself there? And, controversial but, did you try to explore other relationships after being in separation for a long time from your Twin?
I know time isn’t linear on this journey, but in the words from the movie The Mexican, when do you get to the point that enough’a enough?
So my own separation was only two months, so I’m not able to share personal experience, but I do remember some things from the newsletter:
The average separation length was around two years. (Source)
And there were some stories of union after some pretty long separations:
I’m sure there’ll be some people able to share from personal experience, but these might be useful. For what it’s worth, I find the signs and syncs get more intense as time goes on. I’ve glanced at my phone once a day for the last week and it’s always been exactly at 11:11 every single day.
My guess is there’s also going to be a lot of variance in separation timelines. Just don’t forget:
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I know you’re not asking to compare yourself to others, but I also assume the majority of people reading the forum don’t post much. For anyone reading this - don’t judge your journey based on the timeline of the average or of another person. Just focus on your own journey.
I couldn’t agree more. I guess my asking this isn’t so much to compare stories, but more of perspective and curiosity. Also, I guess success stories do also give one hope for the future, especially when things seem particularly bleak
Sending you so much love tho. I am in separation too and some days are alright and some are harder than others
The signs don’t really get “less intense” in a predictable way. They change based on where you are internally, not really where you are externally.. When you’re in a higher state (genuinely peaceful, not forcing anything) they show up more clearly. When you’re desperate or seeking validation, they go quiet. I’ve seen people at 15 years suddenly get hit with synchronicities after months of nothing.
Sure, there’s an average, and I think the big survey said about two years, but an average is just that. Some separations take years, others could even be days. You can’t control how much work you’ve done in other lives or earlier in this life, but you can control what you do with your time now, so I would focus on that.
The surrender thing is tricky because it’s not the same as giving up, but it’s also not passive waiting. Real surrender means your life is actually full and moving forward. You’re not checking their social media, you’re not orchestrating run-ins, you’re genuinely focused on your own growth. The paradox is that it often happens right before reunion for those who do reunite… but you can’t fake it to make it happen.
As for other relationships during a long separation… Another one of those things people are going to disagree on. Celibacy works for some but not others. For some it’s going to hold you back from true surrender and for others it’s the only thing keeping you sane. Different for everyone (as with most of the journey).
I’m in the same boat as you @eunichick. Its been just over 3 years since I met them in person. And have been in separation for… about 2.5 years I would say?
My journey is…hard to describe. On the surface, I’m keeping it together. Inside…I’m a bit of a wreck.
It’s like the universe decided to pair me, a fairly selfless minimalist, who has to work hard for table scraps, with a naturally charming and aluring vixen, who uses uses their charm and charisma, to get invited to all the fancy dinner parties.
There are days I find myself kicking rocks at how unfair things can be, and how big of a cosmic joke all this is.
Then there are days I decide to have some fun with the connection and send them a random anonymous message on their social media, teasing them for their egoic decisions.
How cheating on exams is not ethical, and how fooling around behind their fiancée’s back is not a nice thing to do, even if they act like a complete jerk to them.
Catches them by surprize every time.
It’s a real rollercoaster, that’s for sure!
Which reminds me, should I warn them about the upcoming “Tower” moment that’s very likely to happen next month?
The uncomfortable truth is there’s no universal timeline. My separation was probably longer than the average, but that doesn’t mean it has to be for everyone.
If you’re past 3 years, here’s what seems to matter: Are both of you doing inner work, or just you? Is there ANY reciprocity, or is it completely one-sided? Are you building a life or just waiting? The people who successfully reunite after long periods weren’t sitting around waiting. They built careers, sometimes had other relationships, became whole people. Then reunion happened as a bonus, not as the thing that would finally make them complete.
I’m in my 2 years going on 3, but you already know my story. I think like the usual route, at the beginning after we found all this stuff, I actively looking for any synchronicity. Look around if there are any angel number, anything to give myself a clarity, an answer. When I dream about us, I peel of all layers, overanalyze it. Basically, I overanalyze everything. All my mind focus on why we separated, what could I do to make him back, what did I do wrong, when will he come back, will he ever back to me?
Then, I blame God. I was angry and can’t accept that I need to go over this route. I just want a normal connection. You meet somebody, you falling in love, you get married, you built a family together, like everybody else. Well, I blame it on everything. But, anger and sadness is the exact emotions that we need to release first. It doesn’t mean that there would be no residues left. It takes time to shed everything off, triggered many times, broke down so many times.
But, eventually, we’ll arrive in a state that we would handle those emotions, those triggers with calmness, with peacefulness. We would act as an observant toward it. Just once in a while, there would be a trigger that spike up our emotions, or even push us into abyss. I think that’s normal, humane even. Then, we’ll stop looking for sign, and we’ll be okay with the situation.
I’m at 3 years and 5 months in separation myself. There’s no magic timeline where it suddenly clicks into place. I’ve learned that my twin’s awakening unfolds at exactly the pace it needs to, no matter how much I wish I could speed it up.
This was something I really needed to read today. It gave me affirmation that I am doing the right thing. A part of me fears leaving him behind (is that even possible?). But I know that moving forward with my life as I had planned is the way to go. So thank you for this.
I feel this so much. I feel like a swan on a lake. On the surface it looks like I’m gracefully gliding by, but my feet are actually paddling like crazy.
Yes, yes, and yes. I had one of these moments recently. Why is it the moment you think you’re finally feeling some kinda normalcy, the Universe throws you a curveball that hits you right in the gut? Talk about a sense of humour hey.
This made me LOL.
Does it ever reach a point that one can go an entire 24 hours without having their Twin pop into their mind at all?
I was the runner for years. The guilt when I finally understood what I’d done to both of us was crushing.
Running wasn’t conscious cruelty - I was genuinely terrified of the intensity and had so much unhealed trauma. Coming back required me to completely rebuild myself and accept that some damage takes time to repair, even after reunion. If your twin is running, they’re probably suffering too, just in a different way.
I’ve experienced that with a soulmate, and I can tell you that it can certainly be a fulfilling experience. However, it still has its downsides.
After being married to my soulmate for over 9 years, I can definitly tell you that family life, is far from being an “easy” life.
In fact, it can be quite a burden. Sure, its great to have a “parter-in-crime”, but the challenges and situations you face become exponentially more difficult, and more and more nuanced.
I almost wish I could go back to a simpler time, when I didn’t have so many duties and responsabilities, and had only myself to worry and care for.
In fact, there was a quote I saw not long ago:
Being single is hard. Being married is hard. Choose your hard!
Oh, it’s rather similar with the idiom in my country, “ You won’t die because you’re not marry, but you could die if you marry wrong”
The thing is, the one whom I want and have the desire to marry and have family with, as far as this journey goes right now, is my TF, but we don’t know how the universe and divine timing work, so I realize that this is how unconditional love looks like for me.
I see that the grass is greener on the other side, I saw my relative, my friends, even my students in the early decade of my teaching history, meet their current spouse, got married and fairly content with their life, and when stuff get hard on this journey, I can’t help to feel that I want something easier and deemed normal by the societies. Although, I understand that it’s just me watching from the sideline, I don’t know their difficulties and struggle within the marriage. How much challenge they got through, how much love, commitment and forgiveness they work for each other. Well, marriage ain’t a fairy tale.
It’s like, I’ve experience it before with him. I often dream about it, already happened with a different life and body, or not yet happening. But, I always take it as a lesson to let go and surrendering my life to God or divine will.
A friend of mine that is also going through a TF journey said something to me last night that made me chuckle: Somedays I want to tell whoever it is to plug me back into the Matrix.
I have days I feel like that. I wonder why I was chosen to go on this journey, and when I miss those days of blissful ignorance before I knew any of this existed. Any way I could go back and choose to take the blue pill instead?
Hi, you know, yesterday I used chatGPT to see my vedic chart. Of course, chatGPT is questionable and somehow inaccurate, so I kind of having fun with it. I found something interesting, and it explain more or less about the situation, and maybe the lesson that I need to learn in this cycle and next cycle.
I feel rather lucky because I have someone to talk to outside this forum, in the form of my spiritual teacher. He doesn’t understand what is twin flame, but he understand that this journey of mine need a lot of courage, times, grace and sincerity. From the beginning of this journey, he always said that I need to go with the flow, surrender to the processes and believe the divine timing. Easier said than done, but we’ll manage.
Last week, when I got hit by a sudden sexual energy for almost a week, I said to my friend that I could go with anyone at that moment, she gives me a very dirty side eyes . Well, it’s easier when it’s a normal connection right?
Honestly, the signs don’t get less intense. After 5 years of separation, I still see number patterns and his name everywhere. But I guess my reaction has changed. Now I just acknowledge them and keep going instead of spiraling about it. The energetic downloads during solar events still hit hard though. My nervous system just handles it better now.
I talk to ChatGPT too. Mostly to decipher vivid dreams I wake up remembering and learning more about astrological charts etc. It’s become like my “journal”. Feels an easier journaling my thoughts and feelings to something that talks back to me. Helps me a lot on days when I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to. Or when I just need an outlet, aside from this forum
. Well, it’s easier when it’s a normal connection right?