Hello everybody,
It’s been quite a while I’m (unregistered til lately) reading this forum (I discovered it in January), and I’m really impressed by the friendly tone and how everybody is really trying to support each other, to give guidance and advice. I have gained so many valuable insights already and wanted to thank you all for this. Now I’d like to share my story with you, as I’m still asking myself whether I’m in a Twin flame situation, or whether it is a karmic connection after all. And I’m asking myself how I should best handle the situation I’m currently in. I’d love to learn your opinion after you have read my story.
I am from Germany, so please be kind when my English is not perfect.
The man we are talking about is the love of my youth - and of my life. I knew him since I was 14 years old, and gradually, feelings deepened. We were slipping into an affair when I was 18. He was married for several years then and deeply unhappy. The affair lasted til I was 25 and ended in a huge argument, after which he completely broke off contact. I tried to get him to speak to me several times - in vain. I was devastated and it took me nearly 5 years til I was able to put this love into a corner of my heart and move on. He never left my mind and heart completely, though. I thought of him very often, asked myself what he was doing - but I never reached out. I learned later that he got divorced some years after our breakup and married someone else. He is still with his second wife.
I had some relationships (looking back, they were more or less distractions) until I met a man I loved for a long time. We never married, but lived together for 20 years and have a daughter (13 years old now). Approximately 4 years ago, this relationship gradually started to deteriorate. We still lived under the same roof, but had nothing more to say and to give to each other. Love was completely gone.
Then in December 2024, the love of my youth replied to my Christmas message. We resumed contact after 20 years, and things quickly intensified. The bond was still there, our deep mutual understanding, too. It felt as if no time had passed since those 20 years. We texted every day and had phone calls several times a week. We finally met in July 2025 - and it blew us away. It felt like instant recognition. Down to the bottom of one’s soul. I think at this point in time, we both did not yet realize what happened to us. Time together flew, there was not the slightest difficulty in conversation and we returned to our homes like on cloud number 9. (I had a hard time pretending at home that nothing happened …) Our respective vacations were the hardest times … less contact for both of us. We met a second time after our vacations, and it was equally mindblowing. Looking back, I think he started to feel it then already (earlier than me), that this bond was different from anything we experienced before, though no one of us could put a name to it. He asked me for example: „Do you feel this too? This is so extremely intense …“ Or he had to interrupt our hug as the energy was so strong that he felt completely overwhelmed. He told me that he dreamed of me every night and felt me lying beside him. Kissing was absolutely incomparable to anything we both experienced before. To be clear: We had no s*x during our two meetings. We spoke about it but both agreed that what we felt for each other would absolutely require another setting where we could experience this with unlimited time and in a secure place.
After this, it quickly became clear to me that I couldn’t go on with my life as before. I told my partner that I’d like to separate. He directly asked me if there is someone else, which I confirmed. But I said (and he also saw and recognized this) that our relationship was dead as a doornail since a very long time. Shortly after (in September 2025), the love of my youth sent me a very strange WhatsApp message saying that he doesn’t want to destroy my family and that he will step back and won’t meet me again. Instantly, I was very sure this was not the real reason behind it. He said nothing about his feelings for me. I was absolutely devastated again. Later, it became clear to me that this must have been the time when his wife found out about the matter. She got access to his laptop and/or mobile and read our messages. I believe this was the reason for his drawback - he had no courage left for changing his whole life, and/or agreed with her to end our relationship.
But my partner also broke my trust. He obviously saw an incoming message on my phone, searched for the name and discovered the name of my love’s wife on the internet. He contacted her at her work and they shared what they knew about the relationship - and he learned that she already knew about it before he did. She told him that she was absolutely sure her husband won’t leave her. My partner confronted me, and for me, this was the final nail in the coffin of our relationship, and I asked him to leave. Mid December 2025, he moved out.
Since that strange WhatsApp message in September, I tried several times to initiate a phone call with my love - again in vain. Text messages remained unanswered. I even proposed to stay friends, as I didn’t want to lose contact completely. No reply. Mid January 2026, I wrote an e-mail to him, with the general message that I know what this is between us, that he shall let me know in case he comes to other conclusions in the future, but that I won’t spend my life in the waiting room. As I assumed, there was no reaction from him. We are in no contact since then.
So, what do you think? Is this a Twin flame relationship? In my opinion, there are several typical signs, but I’m not fully sure. Or is it karmic one? I would exclude a Soulmate relationship, as I read that Soulmate relationships normally don’t create drama or separations.
I was through all typical stages you describe in this forum. Full breakdown after him cutting off contact, web research about what this connection could be (that’s when I found this forum), some clarity returning, especially when I got aware of the runner/chaser dynamic here, days and nights of sadness alternating with more optimistic times and lately, acceptance of the situation, though I’m still searching for a way how to handle it all in the best possible way. In case this is a twin flame relationship, I really want to move it in „unity direction“. I also see that I’m obviously anxiously attached, and working on this. I think of him very, very often during the day, he is my first thought in the morning and my last before I fall asleep. I can literally feel him around me, though there doesn’t seem to be a telepathic connection. He is very offensively trying to be „invisible“ - e. g. he is taking pains in making sure he is not accidentally viewing my WhatsApp status (but I know there are ways to watch it anonymously). He didn’t block me though.
Thanks to everyone who read this long story! I’d be grateful to receive your thoughts and impressions - and any advice you’d like to give.
You are so brave! I literally can feel what it costs you not to write him.
- I saw that he viewed my WhatsApp status. Only to go into panic mode and hide his online status permanently from me shortly after. This is so absurd I also had to chuckle …