Can’t seem to make myself interested in anyone romantically anymore. I never really made a conscious decision to be celibate or something while I wait for our separation to end, but the… urge is just gone. My tf sex drive is very different, and I feel like I crave them more than anyone else. The sex was never anything like that with anyone else.
But after that, the idea of wanting anyone else is just… gone?
I’m in a big city. Dating apps are full. The people are fine, and conversations aren’t terrible or anything. But there’s this hollow feeling the whole time, like I’m just going through motions.
Don’t know if this is normal or if I’m doing something to myself. Has anyone else had this, or maybe even the opposite?
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I understand. It must be a twin flame thing, maybe specifically with DFs? I’ve read around and I’ve heard this a few times from others! I know for myself, I grew up with a high libido but had zero interest in intimacy with other men. I didn’t understand why I only ever saw others as friends at most, and my sister would really push and get upset with me for not dating, including some guys who insisted i should date them anyway and I might change my mind .
There was always that “It’s not him.” Feeling and I never knew at the time who ‘he’ was. Was it like that for you too?
I must have known subconsciously. When I had a vision of him I understood for the first time about there being a man out there that was meant for me, and it fit the feeling I had all my life and why no one else ever felt right. It was always him. I had another vision of another man a year later and I met him 2 months afterwards and fell in love. I told myself that the first vision was also him(I didn’t see his face in that one)but my gut told me otherwise, which I pushed down and denied. Turns out the reason I had a vision of the second man(my current partner) was because he was going to force a lot of growth in me before meeting my TF 12 years later, which I also ended up meeting through my partner.
I believe there’s a good reason why we feel it’s not right, or even wrong, being with someone else, and it’s because it’s not for our greatest good and growth I guess! I guess Divine thought my current partner would be good for that growth and through him I’ll be able to finally meet my TF. Crazy! I honestly feel insane sometimes lol
This is so familiar to me. When I was in separation, I tried the apps a few times and had the same experience.
It wasn’t even a decision for me either. Other people just started to feel… not invisible but nobody shone as brightly. Everyone was a little dull and in the background. That probably doesn’t sound right, but it is hard to articulate properly. I didn’t think less of anyone, but romantically, just nobody stood out anymore.
I would rather be single than with someone else I think.
What you said about going through the motions is exactly what it is. I went on maybe six dates last year and every single one felt like I was performing. The conversations were fine. The people were nice. Nothing was wrong but nothing felt right either. That hollow feeling you mentioned, yeah, I know that one well.
When we’ve experienced that level of connection physically, normal relationships just don’t hold any excitement anymore. That tracks for me. The intensity of being with them physically is unlike anything else. It’s not even comparable.
If you go skydiving, you’re not going to be afraid of heights on the top of a little step ladder.
So when you’re sitting across from someone new at dinner, part of you already knows this other person can’t touch what you’ve felt. The celibacy part seems to happen on its own for a lot of people in separation. The desire for anyone else just isn’t there. Some people use this time to focus on inner work since they’re not distracted by dating.
I don’t think you’re doing anything to yourself. I think this is just what happens when you’ve connected with your person on that level.
Yeah this is a thing. I’ve talked to so many people in separation who experience the exact same loss of interest.
The sexual energy between twin flames is pretty much the most intense type of energy you can feel. After experiencing that, trying to manufacture attraction with someone else just… doesn’t work.
I tried the same thing when I was in separation. Thought waiting for them was a version of chasing so I tried to force myself back into dating because I thought it would help me ‘move on’ or whatever. Complete waste of time. The connection with these people couldn’t sustain that same pull even when I wanted it to. My body just refused to cooperate.
I’m sure they were all very nice people but I was just bored the whole time and it wasn’t that they were boring… I just couldn’t have a spark with someone else.
There are people who are physically intimate with other people. You’re not wrong for doing that. There’s no right answer. But the ones who stay celibate usually say it wasn’t a choice they made consciously, it just happened because nobody else registered for them anymore. That’s basically what you’re describing. You’re not alone in this.
Its normal I have been going through this for ten plus years now I have tried but its been a disaster someone literally called me the other day saying your good looking why are you still single but its something only those in the whole thing can understand
I miss that feeling so much. I remember having lunch with him (and a couple of others) and wow it was beautiful. I felt completely at peace in his presence.
After my marriage ended I decided I wasn’t going to bother trying to find someone else. I’ve never been popular with men, online dating is just soul destroying and I don’t know any single men anyway. So when he came along it was like getting struck by lightning. Nobody else could make me feel like this ever so if it’s not him it’s no-one.
My grandmother always said we all deserve love. I’m holding onto that, even though my twin is with a karmic right now and nobody else compares-not even my ex, who’s a soulmate.
OMG I know exactly how you feel and I can only say what worked for me. I knew I was technically single. He made sure of that. It took me a month to just say yes to someone who so randomly came into my life a week after he left. It felt like cheating but I did it anyway. What I got was guy who never ghosted me. Never once. He is very communicative. Yes that’s an actual thing I thought was only reserved for the lucky ones. Turns out it’s totally normal in all relationships and those of us who settle for less are just that, settling for less than what you deserve. So while I will never be in love with him. Im keeping it very casual. I now know what I expect from that damn twin of mine. No more settling. So it really helped me to do it. Maybe in your case you already know all those things and don’t need it the way I did. I also guess I should mention the new guy restored a lot of my self esteem. it always feels good when someone chooses you.
If you and your twin were meant to be together right now, you would be. Working through this slowly, even when every part of you resists it, is what eventually makes you ready for that connection-whether it’s with them or someone else.
I won’t get involved with anyone else because I don’t feel like I’m ready for it. If I did feel like I was ready and the right person stood out, I wouldn’t hold myself back from it either.
I remember sitting across from someone perfectly nice at dinner last spring, and it felt like my spirit was literally trying to leave the room. Like every cell was saying this isn’t your person, why are you here?
I took it as a sign to stop pushing. Been focused on healing work since then, and I can feel union getting close now.
This honestly sounds like something that happens after meeting your twin - that complete rewiring where regular attraction just stops making sense.
The whole ‘going through the motions’ thing on dating apps while feeling hollow is pretty universal in this community. It’s not some orientation label you need to slap on yourself. Half the posts here could be titled ‘why does everyone else feel like settling now.’
I totally agree. Its my TF or no one else for me. My soul knows so even if my human self tries to move on it just doesnt work, my life is dedicated on my tf only. The sex is so intense and way beyond any sex experience and I feel were coming back together soon. I wish you and your tf the best as well.
Agree100% My marriage with a karmic partner ended up before I met my TF and I dreamt of him before I met him. The sex is so intense, nothing compares. Its worth waiting.
Totally agree. I like the manufacture thing you mentioned haha. I tried to distract myself as well but just starting a conversation with other guys is just so dull.Nothing compares, we are activated from the day we met our TF. Its him and only him forever. period. Until separation is over, I am celibate and just focusing on myself. My intuition tells me he is coming back very soon. The sex is just so tremendously different. The song Ordinary of Alex Warren is perfect to describe this feeling.
I really recognise the “It’s not him” feeling you describe. I used to be married but got divorced about ten years ago. During the latter stages of the marriage I used to feel weird when my husband would try to touch me, as if I wasn’t meant to be with him. He even picked up on it a few times, joking, “Reserved for someone else!” when I instinctively dodged his kiss. It was sad I guess, but now I know there really was someone else significant on the way - my TF.
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