The Venting Space

Twin Flame Stories
86

Thank you @StarGirl for your advice, actually last month somehow feel hard. Like, I feel the same pain all over again, plus anger and disappointment. I understand that I still need to do some intense work on myself, so I talk to a counselor. Honestly, my mind is very noisy, and my body can’t hold it up anymore. Then, exactly at last full moon, I fall on my own, broke a sole bone as a result, because I want to clean a wall-fan that my TF assembled for me long long ago. Need surgery of course.

But, then, my mind is very closely in a quite state-like, post-surgery. Like, everything doesn’t really matter. Myself matter the most.

But, still, I don’t want to see them. I don’t want to see he gives all that I ask to his current partner easily. He ain’t a good man, behaviour wise. But, understanding his patterns or knowing his lies doesn’t really make the pain ease up. So, seeing him act like a good, mature partner to other person still hurt me.

I know, I know, I shall not judge him. I’m not living his life nor hear his noisy mind. There is a question often popping up in my mind lately, can a DM has negative traits or characters, toying with women, some sort of a player, manipulative and playing victim at the same time? Because, people always say, a DM always love DF. He won’t treat DF bad. If he is, he isn’t your DM. Even, one time, someone told me, that we aren’t TF, he is just a catalyst. And, I often asking myself over it.

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87

Mine does something similar. He doesn’t badmouth me to others. He acts like there’s absolutely nothing between us at all. It’s maddening because I KNOW he feels it. You can’t fake that kind of energy.

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88

Unfortunately, mine worse than that. While, he communicate normally when we have some quality time together in private, so I think all is well between us, behind me he told people that he want to run away from me or he built a narrative that he just being kind to me, and I got carried away by my own. He told people that I’m pressuring him to marry, after I put some boundaries.

Worse, I know it after our separation. And, that’s the cause there are moments I doubt him as my twin and often made me question whether what I feel happened between us only exist in my head.

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89

Hey sending hugs… Everything is divinely guided… there is a reason for this physical seperation… nothing can break the connection energetically… your souls have orchestrated this for mutual growth… and you have done nothing wrong so dont blame yourself… Relocations like this are very common in this journey and all part of divine plan…

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90

I abruptly stopped communicating with my Twin Flame 2 days ago and gave him no explanation why. My soul aches as my tears flow. I feel so empty inside. We are mirror images definitely and we deeply care for each other. However, we will never be a Union and thats the part that really hurts. I know our pain and sadness are being felt equally. This journey is already written. And I trust the Universe, as it hears my cries and wipe my tears. But soon it will whisper to me the guidance I need. Meanwhile, I will continue to pray, meditate and wait.

Signed,

Heartbroken :broken_heart: :sad_but_relieved_face:

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91

I know I’m supposed to look within but I’ve been doing that for years and I’d still like to know…

what do your lives REALLY look like in the physical after you’ve been on the path a while - solo? Do you have your dream job, dream life, quality relationships/friendships again, a great home, independently wealthy, every duck in a row before the DM can re-appear and you can come into permanent union or is it really JUST frequency over life circumstances?

Ya see, I’m a writer, artist, creative type, and was always doing DF vibe things throughout my life but I lacked stability. I’m a loner, held/quit lots of jobs, relationships, living situations, living/traveling all over the place, a total rolling stone. Shortly after I met my DM, my life got hijacked in the sense I was “stuck” and confined to one area while enduring an unfortunate set of circumstances for the first time in many years during my DNOTS. That lasted a while. Once I was set free, my life went back to “lost” normal but I had reached the void so there was no turning back. I’ve since tried to get it together and have had a lot of things still fall through with quite a bit of instability. I’ve read many stories that once inner union is achieved most DF’s are thriving in the 3D yada, blah - but yet I’m still trying to stabilize and find my steady stride even though in every cell I feel I’ve reached inner union and permanent reunion is right around the corner. I know this can look different for every single one of us. I still feel like a complete outcast. So what’s been your experience?

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92

The twin flame journey is without a doubt the most intense experience I’ve ever had. It’s had its good points, I’ve been reborn and learned a lot, but at what cost?

I completely understand why people can’t handle it and leave. I understand why they don’t achieve union, because what comes before is deadly, and sometimes it’s better to stick with the devil you know and the second-rate options, because they don’t require you to destroy your soul to get them.

Universe, this is, without a doubt, the cruelest and most horrible thing you made me do. Thank you for my new self, but I didn’t want to pay this price. This went too far.

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93

I can understand the part about your twin behaving one way privately and another in front of others. That is really hard to take, I’m sorry. Mine did it too. In private acting as if nothing was wrong, then saying to others that I had made him uncomfortable. Many of them now treat me differently because of what he said and there’s nothing I can do about it. Even if he regrets it and thinks he went too far, it’s done now :person_facepalming:

I know they are conflicted because they are terrified of not being good enough, losing control, or whatever it is in each individual case, but we do suffer at times due to the fallout of their actions and we are allowed to grieve those hurts even if we still love them. Sending love and solidarity :sunflower:

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94

Thank you for the love and solidarity.:green_heart:

I used to find any possible reason on why he behave that way. I always say that he doesn’t mean it, he’s under pressure, he’s confuse, he’s considering right now, he just try to protect himself. Always have some tiny hope that situation will change. Without realizing that what I do actually putting him on a high pedestal, even tough I always said that I know and understand his choice and behaviour actually unacceptable.

My situation this past year, push me to rearrange my life direction and change my priority in life. The funny things are, I barely remember my exes name or face, or the memories I have with them. But, with the TF, as if he become an echo in my mind and the hum in the back of my head. Not, in some intense energy, but it’s there.

And, the coworker or people who see me in a negative way, with questionable character. I never try to correct their view. Because, they never once try to crosscheck the narrative from my point of view. Somehow, it’s hard to believe, how they absolutely trust my TF and brand me negatively.

But, well.. There is nothing can’t be hidden. All truth will come out eventually. And, I need to make peace with myself.

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95

I hear you so much on this. Being stabbed in the back by the one person whose soul is supposed to mirror yours is a whole different level of pain. It’s not just betrayal. It’s like your own reflection turning against you and that cuts deeper than anything. Some people think the TF journey means tolerating everything but no, boundaries are sacred and you are absolutely right to honour yours. He needs to do his own healing work and you cannot do it for him. Sending you so much love and light right now

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