@Cassady nailed it, as usual.
When I finally stopped chasing, it wasn’t some big decision or anything, I was just… tired. Every journey is different and none of us really know what state you’re in and if you are really ready to stop chasing or not. I would read this thread carefully before anything else though:
What I can tell you for certain is that the runner does feel it when you pull back, even if they’re not spiritually aware at all. They might suddenly feel lonely or abandoned without even knowing why. And like you’re saying about roles reversing - that can definitely happen, but it’s also possible the separation just extends for now. Neither of you is forcing anything at that point, which is where you can start to really do the work.
True surrender means you’re genuinely redirecting that energy toward yourself. Self-love stuff, working on your own wounds, all of that. The second you pull away thinking ‘ok now they’ll come to me’, you’re still trying to control the outcome.
For everyone who just stumbled across our forum somewhere… this is almost never the case. I think what trips people up is expecting immediate results. Social media is still glamorizing being a twin flame and making it look like a Hollywood movie.
Sure, sometimes the moment you stop chasing, they’ll come running. As @Cassady said… If this is what you’re hoping for, then you haven’t really stopped running.