My runner is out there living their life, posting on social media with their karmic, acting like I never existed.
I can barely get on with life some days from thinking about them so much. Are they really as unaffected as they seem, or is this pull-away thing just their way of dealing with the same intense thoughts?
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There was a thread about people who asked their twin flame if they felt it too. Pretty much answers your question, but your intuition is probably already telling you the truth.
On some level, theyâre always going to be thinking of you. They canât block it out if they try (and they probably do).
Whether or not theyâre consciously aware of their thoughts and (more specifically) if theyâre consciously aware that itâs you theyâre thinking of⌠that depends on what they are in their awakening.
I know it can be painful to see them seemingly move on. The silence from their side can be deafening when the connection is so loud on yours. What youâre seeing on social media is a 3D reality (and even then, generally one put on as a front), but this connection operates on a much, much deeper, energetic level.
They absolutely feel it.
This bond isnât something that can be switched off. Not something you can just quit.
This is a shared consciousness. You might feel their emotions at a distance, get thoughts that arenât your own, or see synchronicities that pull you back to them. That energy pull works both ways. They are just as tethered to you as you are to them, regardless of who they are physically with. Their running is a reaction to the intensity of that feeling, not the absence of it.
Yes, theyâre thinking about you. Constantly.
I know how it looks from where youâre sitting - the social media posts, the karmic partner, the whole performance of being fine. But they canât get you out of their head no matter how hard they try. The research on runner psychology shows that about 75% experience deep regret, and the thoughts arenât occasional - theyâre intrusive and obsessive.
The person youâre describing is likely in whatâs called âsoul shock.â Theyâre overwhelmed by fear, not indifference.
Fear of the intensity, fear theyâre not worthy, fear of being consumed by something they canât control. So they shut down completely because confronting it feels impossible. They block you, date someone else, act like you donât exist. All of this while thinking about you daily and checking your profiles when they think you wonât notice.
The cruel part is theyâre suffering too, just silently. One runner described it as âthe heartbreak of a breakup on steroidsâ happening internally while showing nothing externally. Theyâre processing wounds that got triggered, dealing with their own lack of self-love, wrestling with what the mirror is showing them. The connection feels threatening to their entire identity.
Your pain is valid. But so is theirs, even if you canât see it.
The pull-away thing is their coping mechanism, and it has nothing to do with how unaffected they actually are.
TF runners typically (as much as anything is typical for us) have avoidant attachment patterns - they learned early that getting close leads to pain, so intensity triggers their fight-or-flight response. Youâre experiencing the same energetic connection from the opposite end. Where you feel drawn to pursue and connect, the runner feels compelled to create distance and protect themselves.
Even if they donât know why themselves, which is pretty common.
Whatâs happening is theyâre still connected to you through the cords that form between TFs. These canât be severed regardless of blocking or no contact. The telepathic signs chasers often talk about (sudden emotions, synchronicities, dreams) are all seen by the runner, too, because energy exchange is both constant and automatic. Theyâre getting hit with waves of emotion from you, and youâre getting residual fear and confusion from them.
And karmics are a whole other thing.
Those never compare to the twin flame love, even if they marry the person. They enter easier relationships specifically because they donât trigger the same mirror effect. They can hide there for a while. Their awakening process is on their timeline, not yours. Theyâre likely in hermit mode internally even while posting happy pictures. Processing childhood wounds, questioning their identity, dealing with spiritual awakening, they donât understand yet.
To Runners, the Love Itself is a threat. Theyâve avoided strong feelings their entire life by a multitude of unhealthy, avoidant, coping mechanisms, all in an effort to maintain control because the love is so strong, their old ways of avoiding donât work against it. Like being lost in an ocean, trying to survive and not drown. So they swim HARDER. ( run HARDER. Date MORE. Ignore MORE).
Theyâre so preoccupied trying to âsurviveâ they canât see what theyâre doing is useless, much less think about, notice or acknowledge the pain they cause their TF with their avoidant attempts. Itâs so painful for us on the other side, circling them in a life-raft, trying to pull them to safety, only to watch them struggle and seemingly not even see us. ButâŚitâs necessary, because theyâll never see until they tire themselves out and realize theyâve been fighting so hard for nothing, and their true freedom lies in surrendering to the currents.
But yeahâŚthey think about us, and feel the love. Their running is proof of it. We lean into that love, but they are overwhelmed by it.
Yeah, your runner thinks about you, but probably not in the way youâd hope. Not on the 3D anyway. From what Iâve seen, theyâre usually frustrated about it. Like theyâre trying to move on but canât stop thinking about you anyway, and that pisses them off.
The social media posts with the karmic are them trying to convince themselves theyâve moved on. But thereâs this annoying awareness that wonât go away - like having a song stuck in your head.
Whatâs happening is they feel overwhelmed by all the emotional stuff that comes with the connection. They think about you, but theyâre also resentful about it. They want to just live their life without feeling this pull toward you or feeling guilty about not being âready.â The coldness youâre seeing is them trying not to feel too much. Theyâre in emotional overload so they shut down and throw themselves into other things. Even if those things look perfect on social media but feel empty to them.
Masculine energy usually deals with this stuff through action and distraction instead of actually sitting with the feelings. So they look unaffected while youâre drowning in emotions.
I can share some perspective from the runner side - they definitely think about you, probably constantly. Even when I was the one pulling away, my twin was in my thoughts every single day. Itâs weird because you desperately need distance but canât stop feeling their presence everywhere.
When I was running, I threw myself into other relationships (and posted about it) because the twin flame connection was so overwhelming. It would feel like they were still around me sometimes, that happens to both of you.
Even as a runner who wanted nothing more than to stay away, I couldnât escape how deeply I felt it.
But that intensity is why separation happens and why you both need to explore other connections during this time. Theyâre thinking of you, feeling you, missing you, but they need the space to process it, just like you need to live your life instead of waiting.
Iâve been in your shoes. Runners think about us a lot more than we realize, they just handle it differently.
When my runner pulled away, he told me everything he loved about me right before setting boundaries. The separation happened after he saw me vulnerable and hurting. It destroyed him to see that pain, especially knowing he was part of it. The guilt and shame they carry for running is huge.
Runners donât leave because they donât care - they leave because they care too much and canât handle the intensity. That emotional overwhelm youâre feeling? Theyâre feeling it too, but their response is to create distance. While we chase and reach out, they retreat and go silent.
Your runner acting unaffected is their survival mechanism. Behind closed doors, away from social media, theyâre probably struggling with the same thoughts and feelings. They just canât show it because admitting it would mean facing something theyâre not ready for.
Theyâre thinking about you constantly. I know how that sounds when youâre watching them post happy photos with their karmic, but the research on this is pretty consistent across the community - runners report thinking about their chaser 24/7, dreaming about them nightly, checking their social media obsessively (sometimes from fake accounts), and feeling physically ill from the separation.
Usually, theyâre not ready to talk about (or even acknowledge this) until afterward.
They admit to curating an image of being fine while secretly consuming every piece of content you post. Distance is self-protection. Theyâre using anger and coldness as shields because the actual feelings are so overwhelming that they literally describe it as losing control of their entire being.
They feel the intensity. The difference is that they respond with terror instead of pursuit.
I had to stop looking at their social media completely.
Seeing them with someone else kills me, especially knowing they used to daydream about our future together, just like I still do. Theyâre probably drowning in the same thoughts but choosing to run toward anything that feels safer than actually dealing with what we both know is there.
Seeing them with someone else is the deepest cut, I know. Please try to see the karmic partner not as your rival, but as a necessary part of the journey for both of you. Your runner isnât with her because they love you less. They are with her because it is easier.
The connection you share is like a mirror; it reflects all their unhealed wounds, their deepest fears, and the inner work they arenât ready to do. Itâs terrifying for them.
A karmic relationship is often less intense, more familiar, even if itâs unhealthy. Itâs a place for their ego to hide from the soul-level growth you trigger in them. She is teaching him lessons he must learn before he can meet you in a healthy space, and she is teaching you patience and self-love.
Your runner is experiencing the same crushing intensity you are, but their nervous system interprets it as a threat rather than something to move toward. When someoneâs spent their whole life in control of their emotions, suddenly pining and overwhelmed feels like theyâre dying.
The ego requires them to stay in control, and surrendering to this level of love feels like complete annihilation of their identity.
The ego tells them the connection âcanât be trustedâ while their soul knows the truth. Theyâre dealing with fear of vulnerability, fear of abandonment (yes, even though theyâre the ones who left), unworthiness issues, and every buried trauma suddenly surfacing at once. The twin flame acts as a mirror showing them everything theyâve avoided - their gifts and their shadow side.
Most runners also struggle with perfectionism, convincing themselves they need to be âhealed, whole, and perfectâ before they can come back. They donât realize love isnât waiting on perfection. Meanwhile, theyâre watching your life from a distance, wondering if youâve moved on, and feeling guilty about how they handled things.
Your runner is probably monitoring you right now, even if you canât see it. Runners admit to stalking profiles without interacting, watching stories silently, asking mutual friends about you, and showing up at places they know youâll be while pretending itâs a coincidence. Some create fake accounts just to keep tabs without revealing they still care.
When you stop chasing, they notice immediately. That relief they felt at first quickly turns into overwhelming isolation, and they realize nothing fills the void.
The runner definitely feels it. mine told me before ghosting that the feelings were âtoo intenseâ and they needed to âfeel normal again.â at the time I thought they meant they didnât feel enough but they were saying the opposite. too much, not too little.
Saw mine at the grocery store yesterday and they literally turned around and went down a different aisle. But then I got a random text that night asking how I was doing. The contradiction is exhausting.
Yes, they think about you. The runner canât escape it any more than you can. From what Iâve seen, runners often create intense distractions as a defense mechanism. All that social media posting, the karmic relationship display - itâs their way of staying so busy they donât have to sit with the overwhelming feelings.
When my twin ran, I could feel the energetic pull through my heart chakra whenever they were thinking of me intensely, usually late at night when their defenses were down.
My runnerâs social media is complete fiction. They post these happy couple photos with their partner but then I found out through a mutual friend theyâve been asking about me constantly. Like every time they run into anyone we both know, my name comes up. The part that gets me is theyâre the one who left. Theyâre the one who said they didnât want this. And now theyâre apparently obsessed with whether Iâve moved on while posting their whole relationship online for me to see. The cognitive dissonance must be killing them.
I was the runner for a whole year before becoming the chaser, so I can tell you - yeah, your twin is thinking about you. They probably donât even realize itâs happening under all the distractions.
When I was running, I threw myself into everything. New relationships that never felt right, work, studies, acting like Iâd moved on. But there was always this ache, this hollow feeling that followed me everywhere. Iâd be laughing with friends or kissing someone new, and suddenly this wave of sadness would hit me. I was missing them but too deep in denial to admit it.
As a runner you become really good at distraction. You fill every moment with noise and activity so you donât have to face what youâre running from. But in those quiet moments before sleep, or when a certain song plays, or when you see someone who walks like them, the truth breaks through.
Theyâre affected, probably more than you know. While youâre processing your emotions as the chaser, theyâre bottling everything up, pushing it down. That pressure just builds.
Runners definitely think about us - they just handle those intense feelings completely differently.
We chasers tend to sit with the emotions and process them (sometimes obsessively). Runners canât handle that level of intensity. So they throw themselves into distractions, new relationships, constant social media activity, work, partying, whatever keeps them from having to face what theyâre really feeling.
You canât just forget someone whoâs touched your soul at that level. No matter how many distractions they pile on, youâre there in the quiet moments, in the back of their mind when theyâre trying to fall asleep.
The masculine energy often struggles with surrendering to something they canât control or rationalize. So instead of facing it head-on like we do, they run toward anything that feels safer and more manageable. But running from something doesnât mean they donât feel it. You donât run from something that doesnât affect you.