Looking for some opinions here.
Say, for example, you see signs your TF is trying to manifest you or signs they are thinking about you.
Should I reach out? Should I text them so we can start talking again or get back together? If I just keep focus on surrender and healing at one point, one of us needs to actually reach out… do I just wait for them?
What if we are in separation and I just want to talk a little to make it easier while we are apart? Does texting cause a problem?
It’s so funny that this topic appeared on the thread as I was just pondering the same question.
I’ve been through a period of 10 months of no contact with my Twin. During that period, I did try to reach out twice, no to avail. He reached out on my birthday, and we have been sorta communicating sporadically since. I’ve been trying to control my “chaser” energy and “stand still” and stay grounded to give him space to move towards me if he wants/feels like. The last few communications have been initiative on his end, but today I just felt like I wanted to leave him a voice note to thank him for calling yesterday and to tell him about a new movie I watched. My own checklist for myself is:
Am I ok if he doesn’t reply?
Would I still want to say this even if no outcome followed?
Does this add warmth, not pressure?
Am I responding to the connection rather than absence?
I feel like bringing up pressure point topics when the situation is not right or when one Twin isn’t ready can repel each other even more. Sometimes allowing space gives each person the opportunity to grow and find a healthy way to communicate their feelings. My Twin is not only a runner, he also has an Avoidant personality. There are a lot of issues we do need to address, but I know in my heart that this isn’t the right time and doing it over the phone just won’t be conducive. I guess it depends what your relationship with your Twin is at the moment 
Also, yes. I did end up sending that voice note
There is nothing wrong with texting your twin flame.
I have seen some people being very vocal, telling people they essentially have to ignore their twin and the entire journey, but basic common sense should tell you that’s not going to work.
It’s why you are contacting them that is going to matter.
I would read this thread on twin flame surrender. You could text your twin flame all day long as long as it comes from a place of genuine surrender.
If you are texting them constantly, full of chasing energy with the hope of saying the right things that will cause them to instantly come back before either of you is ready… then you shouldn’t be texting them because it won’t be helping either of you.
There are some stories from the old forum about what happened when people reached out to their twin:
And you are right. If you’re not talking, someone is going to have to make contact if you want a story like this from the other day:
No one right answer and anyone who says otherwise is oversimplifying.
The first thing to do is check where the urge to text them is coming from. Ego urges tend to come with anxiety and desperation, and you’re attached to how they respond. Soul guidance feels lighter and more peaceful, doesn’t demand immediate action. That distinction is hard to make but once you get it, it helps.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about or you’re not ready to accept that we all act with ego more than we’d like to admit - you shouldn’t be texting them. If your TF isn’t spiritually awake to the connection, texting could startle them and cause more soul shock, making the separation harder. Doesn’t mean never text them, but just be aware of their state.
Even if you do text them and get a response, sometimes people get a little too excited (understandable) when their twin responds immediately, but then vanishes again within days.
You can also surrender while still being in contact. Most people who reach union are still in some form of contact with their twin. Find that balance where you’re available in the 3D without devoting yourself to only waiting for them.
I would suggest you write what you want to text in a journal first. Ask yourself what you’re actually seeking from that message. Validation? Want to know if they miss you? Or is there a real message you feel guided to share? No wrong answers, just be honest with yourself about it.
You’ll get people telling you to go scorched earth, delete their number, block on social media, but this is not how you really surrender. Then you’ll get others saying text whenever you want because you’re twin flames, what’s the worst that can happen? Both extremes can get in the way and tend to lack an understanding of whyyou go through separation.
Normal dating advice doesn’t really apply (but that won’t stop people from trying to use it) - comparing twin flames to a normal relationship is like comparing a toothpick to a redwood tree.
But that doesn’t mean all dating advice is useless either.
Even when you’re not texting, you’re in constant communication through your unspoken bond. Telepathically. It never stops. So sometimes the urge you feel to reach out is actually them pulling at you energetically in the 4D/5D, even when they’re quiet in the 3D.
If you do decide to text, keep it short and positive. Don’t bring up past stuff or whose fault the separation was. Something casual like ‘hey haven’t heard from you in a while, hope you’re doing good’ type thing. Don’t send a bunch at once - that can overwhelm them. The biggest risk is that if you reach out before both of you are ready, you could trigger their soul shock more and set things back.
Giving them space lets them miss you, process their emotions, heal.
And if you haven’t been doing your inner work, then texting them isn’t going to make a blind bit of difference either way.
I think it’s about what’s driving that urge. Sometimes it comes from our own longing - feeling lonely or not believing they’ll still want us if we leave them alone. Sometimes, we’re actually feeling the energetic pull from our twin. Sometimes, runners are trying to manifest us back into their 3D life, even if they’re not ready to be involved in ours. They stay quiet in 3D, but they’re not quiet in higher dimensions.
If you get signs they’re thinking about you, that could genuinely be them reaching through the connection. But before you act (whether it’s calling them or whatever else), take a moment to ground yourself first.
Increased communication between twins can be a sign that the separation is ending btw. Text messages, calls, running into each other - all signs that things might be improving. You have to make your own judgment call here, though. If you’re getting an inner nudge that isn’t driven by fear but by love, follow it. Or don’t. Let your intuition answer this for you.
Your soul contract has its own timing, so there’s no need to fear reaching out when you feel genuinely called to. If you’ve truly detached and want confirmation, ask for signs through songs or numbers before sending that message.
Texting without attachment to response is the highest vibration approach - my DM literally said I can reach out anytime, but I know I shouldn’t do it if I’m not secretly expecting a reply or for something to immediately change. Being honest with yourself about whether you’re texting from a place of pure expression or from needing validation is where the real work is.
It depends on so many different things and circumstances but ultimately, it comes down to how YOU feel. I won’t repeat what everyone else has said but here’s a personal share about my experience with texting.
My circumstances were that we were dating, it was intense, he was the runner and I the chaser. He was giving me vague excuses for why it wasn’t working and I was trying to get him to hear/see me. Emotions ran high, we were both triggered and it just didn’t end very nicely. My heart was broken and this is when I started DNOTS and my TF journey.
I know that I overwhelmed him with my emotions so my ‘plan’ was to give space, calm down and hopefully rebuild connection / communication. Over the space of 4 months, I sent 4 light messages. First one he responded warmly too, 2nd and 3rd no response. 4th one was just before Christmas - this was when I worked up the courage to ask if he wanted to keep in touch or not, because I felt I was in a really anxious state and didn’t want to bring that into the new year.
I trawled online articles and groups - should I/shouldn’t I text an ‘ex’, what do I say etc. The consensus was what many have already shared - what’s your reason, how will you feel if he doesn’t reply, are you doing it for validation. Each time I genuinely thought I was being intentional but looking back it was still chasing.
Was it worth texting him all those times. Not for my ego. The final message from him was “I don’t want to keep in touch, sorry”. It was heartbreaking to receive, it triggered so many wounds but honestly, it’s been the best thing for me (I still have my moments). I’ve become grateful for it now because I’m not longer in that really anxious, obsessive space. I feel much calmer, which is weird but it’s because I genuinely feel we will reconnect. It’s taken me a little while to tell my brain to not believe what’s happening in the 3D at the moment, but intuitively I feel it.
Good luck 
Texting isn’t inherently bad. If you’re feeling a genuine nudge, try just sending a simple check-in. I once wrote out a note to myself first to calm down, then sent a short ‘hey, hope you’re doing okay’ message without expecting a reply. It felt freeing - like offering love instead of needing it.
If you send it from a loving place and give them space, things tend to work out how they’re supposed to.
Writing unsent letters has become part of my healing process, even though I can’t communicate with them right now. It helps me work through these exact scenarios you’re describing.
I’ve kept every door open for my twin, and that matters to me.
I spoke to someone in our community a while ago. Let’s call her Laura.
Laura told me she had texted her twin a dozen times over the last two months. Sometimes he would respond warmly and sometimes he would leave the message on read.
I asked her one question.
“When you hit send on the ones that worked… how did you feel?”
She thought about it.
“I don’t know. I guess I wasn’t really expecting anything. I just… felt like reaching out.”
Then I asked about the ones that pushed him away.
“Those I was kind of hoping would fix something. Like maybe this would be the message that finally made him get it.”
There it was.
Same woman. Same twin. Sometimes, almost the same words are in the message she sent. Completely different responses.
The difference was never what she typed. There are no hidden words you can use. It wasn’t the extra heart emoji. It was the energy she was carrying when she hit send.
Your twin flame can read the energy below the words.
A message sent from peace lands is completely different than one sent from panic. Even when the words are nearly identical.
This doesn’t mean don’t reach out or that you shouldn’t text them. Your pull to connect is real and once you’ve both done the work, then someone is going to have to reach out and break that silence.
But the question isn’t just “should I text them?”
It needs to be “where is this impulse coming from right now?”
When you’re reaching out from a place of alignment (not from fear or from trying to control an outcome), that energy transmits. They feel the difference, even if they can’t explain why.
Before you hit send, ask yourself:
If you’re being honest with yourself, you already know the answer.
There’s a big difference between reaching out and chasing. And it has nothing to do with how many times you’ve texted first. Your twin feels which one it is. Every time.
Reaching out is open-handed. You’re sharing something because it feels true. You’re not gripping the outcome. Your twin feels which one it is. Every time.
If you knew (with absolute certainty) that union was coming and that they already loved you deeply… Would you still send this message?
If yes, send it.
If the message only makes sense because you’re trying to convince them of something or prove your worth…
Then wait. That’s not the energy you want to send right now.
The whole point of meeting your twin is your awakening.
Do whatever you want because you can’t screw this up. If you’re asking yourself whether you should text, that’s probably your answer right there. The energy matters way more than whatever awkward message you’re drafting anyway.
The urge to reach out hit me hard today too, and I’m just sitting with it instead of acting on it. These waves of chaser energy keep cycling through.
I’m starting to recognize them as part of my own healing pattern.
No, definitely shouldn’t text them, it won’t help. Just puts you back in the loop if you don’t learn the lesson. If you have to ask, then you are probably not ready.
I want to so bad, but I know he is in a bad place fixing himself.
I don’t want him to think I am pushing him into anything. When the time is right, he will come. I don’t want him to run again.
I was actually the person who, from the very beginning, almost never reached out to him on my own. I didn’t want to bother him or intrude because of his family etc…but I would have liked to reach out… but just couldn’t.
But if he were here in this forum too, reading the same advice, and also never texting (every now and then)… how would any contact ever happen again?
If people say ‘don’t text’ without any context or nuance, that rule would apply to both sides. And then you’d just end up with no contact forever. That doesn’t really make sense to me, does it? I’d say, maybe text if your intuition tells you to do so … I guess it will work better from a “not demanding state of mind”…just maybe go with the flow, having fun, when you are in a good, positive mind state…that being said, it’s very hard for me as well, because it would be easier just to wait for he reaches out every now and then…
For a few weeks, we even had a small ritual where I’d reach out once a week just to talk briefly about songs (he kind of initiated it, but I was the one who had to reach out, and I was always writing a lot while he replied very little) So, every single time I had to push myself to do it, because I was worried about bothering him, and after a few weeks I simply stopped.
Recently, after some weeks, he briefly revived it and reached out to me. I at least used the opportunity to explain that I had stopped because I didn’t want to disturb him. He told me that I wasn’t bothering him at all. That gave me a good feeling for a while and actually helped.
Sometimes it’s good to step outside our comfort zone and jump over our own shadow … it can actually help us move forward.
A year earlier: we had a no-contact phase for a like 7-8 month, because I didn’t show up for an agreed appointment and didn’t cancel. I had firmly decided that I would apologize as soon as he reached out again. I waited for a long time… Like 8 months or so.
When he finally did message me, I had to briefly remind myself to follow through with that apology. And I did. I pushed myself, apologized, and explained what had happened, without mentioning the connection itself, and that I freaked out, finding out what kind of connection this is and that the reason why I didn’t show up and didn’t cancel, was that I was going through a “dark night of the soul” …I just said: I’m sorry for not showing up and not canceling properly, because I was in something like a burnout phase…He was very understanding, and told me that there is no need to apologize.
I felt genuinely much better afterward, because I had stepped out of my comfort zone and addressed it.
The “small-talk” conversation would have happened anyway (he already texted), even without me saying “I’m sorry for not comunicating propely” …but for me, it felt important and grounding to have kept the promise I made to myself.
I write the texts in my notes and keep them there. I write them knowing I’ll probably keep them there. Like a form of journaling to me.
When you’re writing it, you get overwhelmed by the emotions, but the next day, when you read it, you realise that it is not worth sending. Nothing will change and it is better to focus all your energy on yourself.
My twin’s bday is approaching and I’ve been wondering if I should text him then. We’ve been in separation 9 months and barely any contact, certainly nothing since September. I’ve been through the DNOTS and feeling more detached but I still miss him. My intuition says there’s more to come for us in the future but my fear is that even if he works on himself and also regrets leaving that he wouldn’t reach out thinking I hate him. So the bday text would serve as an excuse to let him know the door is open if he ever wants to reach out. I think (hope) that coming from love and forgiveness and not anxious desperation shouldn’t scare him away but I still have doubts.
I was in a similar situation as you, and my Twin was as well. But after 10 months of no contact, he reached out to wish me on my birthday. And we have been speaking sporadically since. I feel that you should go with the flow and follow your gut. If your instincts are telling you on the day to reach out, I feel you should go for it. Sending love
