The loneliness of not being able to talk to anyone about this might honestly be harder than the actual situation at this point. It is crazy how a journey about love and connection can be so lonely at the same time.
Like I’m sitting across from my friends listening to them talk about their exes and dating and whatever, and there’s this whole universe in my chest I can’t translate. Sounds dramatic, but that’s what it feels like. Tried explaining once, got the concerned face, learned my lesson.
Now I just redirect. Nod along when they mention closure or moving on. Agree that time helps. Meanwhile, knowing deep down, this operates by different rules. It’s exhausting. Pretending it doesn’t exist while it’s there, under every single moment.
Silently suffering while everyone goes on with their normal life.
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Just choose the words you use a little, depending on how spiritually open they are. Honestly, most of us just have to use the words “soulmate” instead of twin flame and that’s enough for them to kind of understand. Kind of is as good as it gets, but it means you can lean on your support system. They’ll not 100% understand but they’ll still want to be there for you, let them.
The twin flame experience sits outside the conventional understanding of relationships. It can make you feel like you’re losing touch with reality when you’re actually touching something deeper. The isolation phase seems to be really common though. A lot of us go through extended periods of loneliness during separation. It sucks but it also lets us go inward to reflect.
Places like this help a lot. At least here you don’t have to pretend or translate.
Nodding along while inside, you’re holding this entire other reality. A lot of the surface-level stuff that other people care so much about just doesn’t seem to matter anymore.
We’ve all been there.
I can tell you it gets easier. People will use your relationship as an example to others. They won’t know the words to use, they won’t know why it’s so special and different but even people unaware of the spiritual side can tell this isn’t normal.
I stopped trying to explain to anyone outside of communities like this a long time ago. Got the same concerned look you’re describing. I got a lot of grief from my own sister when I was going through separation, who judged me quite a lot for it. Now tells me she “wants what I have”. Hopefully, I can help her find it.
Also, just want to say, you’re not alone here. Most of us seem to go through this without anyone in our ‘regular’ lives who understands.
I would love to confide in friends. Tell them the full story but it’s so out there. A couple of friends know vague info but don’t even ask questions about the spiritual stuff. I’ve mentioned a soul connection and there’s no curiosity at all. Maybe they think I’m actually nuts.
Usually I tell my best friend about any guys I like. And I typed up a message - several times- that there’s a guy at work. And ended up deleting it. I felt pressure too that she’d be like good luck and wanting updates from this company event we were at months ago. Best to keep quiet. But yeah when we caught up over Christmas and she was blah blahing about family stuff etc I was so close to saying something. It felt heavy and needing aired but I kept it in. Because what kind of reaction would you get?
Having multiple outlets helps with processing all this intensity - journaling, movement, creative stuff, whatever channels the energy. Transmuting it into something that serves your growth matters more than finding someone who gets it.
The loneliness is often a sign your external life hasn’t caught up with your internal reality yet.
Try making small adjustments in your daily life that match who this connection has turned you into - different music, different routines, different creative projects, even different online spaces. When your day-to-day starts reflecting that inner movement.
it is so hard to explain in their terms, the odd looks, like yeah think its too much for them to comprehend & she’s lost it. Especially when they ask how u came about to be together,and u tell them we were together centuries ago and have found each other again
Oh yes that’s too much for folk who aren’t experiencing this. Good that your DM tried though. I did tell one friend that I’ve known him for lifetimes but she just laughed.
It certainly can be lonely. Places like this help to remind me it’s not just me. I’ve found some people won’t get it at all, but have been lucky to have the odd receptive friend who does. These mainly tend to be people who have had something inexplicable happen to them in their own life that has opened their mind to the fact they may not know about or understand everything. Someone open-minded enough to accept the possibility is often just as much of a comfort to me as someone who already knows what a twin flame is. Sending solidarity
The constant masking sounds exhausting. I just don’t talk to anyone about my love life or awakening.
I did for a while at first.
It might help to pick one small, safe way to be a bit more real in your existing friendships, without saying ‘twin flames’ or getting into details. Something like, ‘My situation doesn’t really fit the usual closure/moving on story, but I’m figuring it out.’ That tiny bit of honesty can take some pressure off and remind you that you’re not completely invisible in your own life.
I think I just understand it more myself now. I don’t still have my family and friends around me for other stuff but I don’t feel like I need them for this.
I saw this quote recently that sat with me: If it makes you happy, it doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else
I guess that is the amazing thing about finding places like this forum. You’re surrounded by people who get it and don’t judge you for the mistakes you make along your journey. Also, there is no need to validate or explain yourself the same way you would to someone who has no idea what Twin Flames are. Personally, I’m grateful I found this community. Reading posts and sharing thoughts really does help curb the loneliness
The loneliness is its own kind of separation. My closest friends know something exists between us, but they’re not very open to anything spiritual, so that stays locked away and hidden.
Especially lonely when your own twin flame isn’t open to understanding what this is.
Recently, without even thinking about discussing my TF, I was out with a group of friends which I arranged because this journey was becoming all consuming and I needed some sort of lightness, and listening to them all talking (I contributed barely anything the whole time) I wanted to stand up and scream that this is all just surface, irrelevant stuff and no-one really cares! Luckily, I stopped myself and am trying atm to embrace the mundane, everyday stuff as just as important as the soul level stuff, but it felt so frustrating to have this supportive group and not be able to say a single thing to them.
The other small group of friends who I’ve told needs to read up about TFs as this is what I’m going through are currently concerned that I’m burning myself out and I’m going too intense on my healing and am going to go too far! I’m like, this is the necessary work I’m doing to help heal me, where before I would distract myself from traumas as they happened. These are the more spiritual friends and even they can’t fully get their heads around it all.
But then, on the flip side, it baffles me that anyone can become spiritual without something like this happening to them. I’m trying to understand how my friends who haven’t met or got a TF can become spiritual, as the way I did was this journey which is do intense. How does someone slowly become more spiritual without such a catalyst?! So, we all have our learning to do, I guess.
I used to think I needed to fix it or escape it, but maybe feeling alone is part of the lesson.
I think I can safely say I used to use a lot of shallow relationships just to avoid dealing with anything real or difficult. I wasn’t able to be happy with myself and always needed some kind of distraction. Couldn’t just sit with my thoughts and felt like I needed something or someone at all times, but the growth has been undeniable. I stopped chasing karmic relationships just to avoid being alone. Found my own power for the first time.
You make some interesting points. My humble thoughts on what you are saying are that being awakened is lonely, it is estimated only around 10 - 15 % of the world’s population are awakened. Many people are spiritual and on their way to awakenedness (over a few lifetimes most likely) and everyone will have a unique journey. From personal experience, just before I met TF 5 years ago I was almost floating with the angels, I had developed such a beautiful peaceful all-accepting inner knowing and lived in love and kindness to myself and all. Then came TF and it undid me. Stripped me bare and showed me my core wounds at their rawest. Now I’m rebuilding myself. I don’t want to nor am able to get back to the place I was pre-TF, I want to become a hybrid version of pre and post TF. It’s been a painful journey but I wouldn’t change it as the shadow-work and mirroring effects of TF have brought me back to my real self. I’m not totally there yet but at least I can see the truth of it now. Having experienced ‘awakenedness’ backside front has taught me that any spiritual development is not linear and we’re not in this life to perform a tick-box exercise. Probably the opposite - the more you think you have ‘ticked’ the more it challenges you to make sure you are fully living in your truth.
As for talking to anyone about TF, I just say it matter of fact and don’t give anyone room for doubt that that’s my truth. This might be easier for me though than most as I don’t crave much outside contact and mainly don’t care what people think about it.
