A while ago (after quite a lot of separation), I thought I would move on and start dating someone else. Now I have a boyfriend who is a good guy and deserves better than this. He’s been nothing but good to me, and meanwhile, part of me is still hung up on someone else.
It feels like a betrayal just having these feelings, and I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t want to feel this way, and I wanted to just move on, but I can’t.
I feel guilty for thinking about my twin flame and I don’t know what to do.
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First of all, you’re certainly not the only person to go through this kind of feeling.
You don’t have to be celibate during your journey, but you also can’t act in a way that’s going to hurt someone else. So first things first, if you’re not being honest with this other person, then you need to start there. A lie of omission is still a lie.
Cheating is not part of the twin flame journey.
Just because you are physically separated, it doesn’t remove or diminish your bond. Given the depth of this connection (and I mean the actual soul-level stuff, not just attachment), completely forgetting each other is basically impossible.
But that still is no excuse for causing harm to someone else. Too many people do this and rationalize it away. If you are causing harm to someone, you are causing harm. That is not the path to union. Nobody wants to think of themselves as the ‘bad guy,’ but you might literally be this person’s karmic to help them reach union if you’re physically or emotionally cheating on them.
If you feel guilty, it’s because you know you are doing the wrong thing and causing harm to someone who doesn’t deserve it. Either learn to truly surrender and move on from thinking of your twin or cut this person free before someone gets hurt.
You’re not a bad person for feeling this way. Twin flames struggle with a connection that nobody else could ever understand; however, if you keep this person around, knowing they’re more invested than you are, then you’re not acting morally.
I was involved with someone else for a while during separation. It can last a long time sometimes and I felt lonely and behind in life. At first, I thought I would just completely move on and forget about them. When it (quickly) became clear that I wasn’t just going to move on, I was honest with the third party. They didn’t have a problem with it, they said they were in a similar situation (though I didn’t use the twin flame terminology).
I think as long as you are being up front with how you are committed to the relationship, it is perfectly fine.
I’m with my twin these days and I’m actually still on speaking terms with this third party. They were a great person, just not my person. I don’t regret my time with them but I think I would if I hadn’t been honest with them.
This is exactly where you need to focus on your inner work.
You need to learn true surrender. True gratitude. True inner work.
I’m sure you know this but you are allowed to fully set limits on your interactions with him (and others) based on what you feel you need to do in order to honor your needs. Stop abandoning your needs in favor of the needs of others. Meet your needs first. If you don’t, who will?
You’re not alone in this. But have you really examined what ‘truly happy’ means for you?
I see my twin almost every week - shared friends - and god, sometimes it’s hell. My partner treats me so right. Loves me so well. But the moment my twin walks in my entire body and soul get hijacked. It is just too intense.
You can see it for what it is, although it might be a bit tricky at first, which is that you’ve always had this eternal bond with your TF throughout lifetimes and in spirit, but you’re also allowed to enjoy the moment with others and explore, and have fun, and make memories. You don’t have to be single forever just because your twin exists, and you shouldn’t have to feel guilty for it.
To give my own example: I’m still with my partner of 12 years as I enjoy living with him, he’s lovely, I love him and care about him, and I know that even if my TF is ready(he’s married and has a toddler so it’s a stickier situation for himself I think), I’m simply not ready yet. Every time I think of breaking up with my partner, my gut strongly tells me “not yet”. So I’m enjoying for what it is currently, and enjoying my life socializing, trying new things, practicing things I’m a bit insecure about, gaining independence and writing my book for the first time along with getting more creative with my artwork.
I feel a lot more calm and free, I feel like I’m finding myself and focusing on myself more, I feel like I’m growing and the intense constant forefront thoughts of my TF isn’t there anymore, just in the background of my thoughts mostly now. I think we’re meant to just let go and enjoy ourselves and learn, rather than trying to make things happen and stressing about them. Ultimately, love yourself and give yourself permission to pamper and pleasure yourself in this life!
I think it’s natural to feel guilt and it must be rough. Your boyfriend could well be a karmic partner and, at least in my experience, the time comes when we feel we can no longer be in those relationships.
I left some of my karmics, and some of them left me, depending on what needed to be learned. There was one guy in particular who was very difficult to let go of at the time, but I knew he’d be hurt much worse later on if I didn’t override the magnetic impulse to stick around.
That was the right decision, it turned out. I love my twin deeply and although I felt sorry for the other guy and our meeting in this lifetime had a purpose, it was never meant to last and would have burned out eventually if I hadn’t said goodbye by force.
Only you can decide what you want, and I know it’s not easy. Good luck.
That’s entirely up to you if you feel negative in any way, then you ask yourself why, and then go from there whether you want to stay or not. Being in a relationship won’t stop the bond and cord with your TF. And being in a relationship doesn’t mean that union in the future, with your TF, won’t happen.
But also union may never end up happening in this lifetime either, hence why it’s solely up to you if you want to stay single and celibate forever unless you’re with your TF, or not. Enjoy your relationships and life in whichever way that is for you, rather than living in a way that may be stifling to you personally for the hope that your TF will be with you(I’m not saying that you feel this way, btw, but just incase you do )
Life just doesn’t follow our plans. And we’re all messy humans doing our best with feelings that refuse to cooperate with what we think we want. Sometimes what we want shifts too. That’s just being real.
Okay, this might sound weird. But I think I’m literally on the other side of your exact situation right now.
My twin moved away, started a whole new life - new family, everything. And for the longest time, I backed off completely because she seemed happy and I figured who am I to mess with that, you know?
They’re starting to come back into my awareness so intensely and I have this gut feeling he wants to reconnect. And I keep thinking, if he’s feeling even a fraction of what I’m feeling, the kindest thing I can do is just… wait. Let him come to me if that’s what he needs right now. Because reaching out feels like it could blow up everything he’s built. I think that scares me more than anything else.
If he can be hapy for the moment, I’ll leave him with that. I would want him to do the same if shoe was on the other foot.
Twin connections exist on a completely different level. You experienced something most people never will, and there’s real spiritual growth that comes with that.
There are some people who meet both their TF and a soulmate in the same lifetime, and I think as long as you are honest with yourself and them, you could have a happy relationship with a soulmate knowing that your union is not going to happen in this lifetime.
What I don’t think you can do is use this person as a placeholder. That isn’t fair and isn’t good karma, so that won’t serve either you or them. Your twin might live in your head but you can have a great relationship with someone else as long as you’re not lying to them about anything.
I also think there are people who are in FWB situations or something while they wait for their union, and as long as you’re not lying to them (telling them you love them and you only think of them, etc), you have nothing to feel guilty for.
So I keep wondering what’s going on in your synastry/composite charts with both your TF and your boyfriend. The guilt thing - it makes sense, though. TF connections (think Pluto/8th/12th house overlays) dig up old karmic patterns around loyalty and abandonment. Heavy stuff.
Meanwhile, soulmate/partner charts lean more toward Saturn/Venus for that steady, committed energy. Less dramatic but way safer.
Looking at where your Venus, Moon, and South Node are being activated by each person might actually help here. Your chart is being lit up in completely different ways by each of them, and once you see that clearly, a lot of the shame might start to fall away.
Walking away. That is the only right thing to do. It won’t feel fair to you right now, but the alternative is even more unfair to them.
The guilt you’re carrying about your current partner - it’s real, valid, all of it. I know that weight. But staying in something while part of you is elsewhere isn’t fair to anyone involved. Sometimes the kindest thing is admitting where your heart actually is. Even when that’s uncomfortable.
And you can’t just force yourself to move on because you decided it was time. Doesn’t work like that.
I would just remind you of one simple law as strong as any other: Each and every of your actions echoes through Infinity. It means you get what you put in. Therefore, be careful what you wish for since it may come to fruition. That said, there is the fact the Twin Flame relationship is the strongest you could experience, ever, no matter the situation your partner is in. So, in conclusion, one might say if s/he is in other relationship what would you wish for him/her is what you would get for yourself. And that is where I would argue for you to aim at. If s/he is unavailable what would you wish for you? The same you should wish back for him/her. Therefore if you could handle the stress of you two being separated and having different people but in your karma, you do precisely that. If you want reunion more than anything you have no right to keep a partner.
P.S. I wish there was an easy way out of the dilemma but the reality is there simply isn’t. That is the nature of this experience-all easy paths lead to hard choices and vice versa, so, it’s up to you to decide what pain can you take and what can you cause.
if you feel negative in any way, then you ask yourself why, and then go from there whether you want to stay or not. Being in a relationship won’t stop the bond and cord with your TF. And being in a relationship doesn’t mean that union in the future, with your TF, won’t happen.