Not attacking anyone here in particular, and it feels like it doesn’t happen so much here, but on social media, if anyone expresses an opinion, they are instantly attacked and told you are not a real twin flame!!!
People claiming to have special knowledge or deciding they have the right to decide that other people are not “good” enough.
Imagine someone was going through an awakening, and rather than finding a supportive group that could teach them how to navigate the difficulties, they went through people who were just screaming at them.
People might absolutely be misunderstanding what twin flame are. There’s no harm in helping by offering your opinion and trying to help them navigate the path they’re on, but to claim some kind of absolute authority on a spiritual journey is crazy.
I understand where it comes from. These people are in bad situations themselves and misery loves company. I try to have compassion for that, but they shouldn’t be allowed to attack other people.
It happens here, but those people are quickly removed. People can share opinions and different beleifs but nobody is allowed to claim themselves an authority and discredit anyone else’s opinion or experience.
I understand the annoyance. I’d invite you to see it as an opportunity to work on your own patience and compassion with the people who do it. Set an example by not arguing and just offering your own advice to those asking.
A practice I am not in agreement with, and have different view on than most individuals in this community.
My opinion is that if we trully seek truth and rationality, then we should allow everyone to speak their truth and either make their case, or make a fool of themselvs.
Pushing them out of this community and vilifying these individuals only creates more resentment towards it.
You do not “eradicate” demons, you do not “get rid” of monsters. You LIVE with them. You accept their nature and you try to work with them towards finding a better solution. You cannot eradicate hatred with more hatred! Anyone who thinks they can, is perhaps the biggest monster of them all.
@MrsClaus I was in groups before this one that got very toxic very quickly. Usually, because people develop weird superiority complexes
I think a different opinion is fine, but if people pick fights or try to tell people their experience is invalid, then they are not respecting the space, and don’t deserve a space here.
My personal belief: you make a safe community by setting rules and those that don’t follow them are asked to leave. Perhaps not on the first offense, but after multiple warnings (three strikes?) it’s time to take further action. I personally would not open up and share in a forum that tolerated that kind of behavior.
The concept goes back centuries and seems to play out in different ways for different people with deep spiritual origins. And yeah, on the other end, you get people slapping the TF label on any intense crush they have.
Neither extreme helps. Each connection is unique - the synchronicities, that feeling of recognition, the mirroring. Your soul knows what’s happening even when your conscious mind is trying to make checklists or get validation from others. The gatekeeping comes from insecurity. If someone questions their connection, they get defensive. If someone else claims a connection, they feel threatened. As you said, misery loves company.
I’ve stepped back from a lot of the bigger online groups for this exact reason. There’s pressure to fit into a specific box and anyone who doesn’t gets attacked.
The irony is thick with people doing this. People are gatekeeping a spiritual concept that’s supposed to be about unconditional love and growth.
Part of the problem is that people conflate intensity with validity. Like if your connection isn’t turbulent enough, dramatic enough, painful enough - then it can’t be ‘real.’ The runner/chaser dynamic gets romanticized to the point where people think if there’s no drama, there’s no flame. That’s backward.
Labeling of anyone questioning or exploring as ‘unawakened’ or ‘not ready.’ Questioning the core tenets is discouraged and people who do get ostracized. That’s cultish behavior.
A genuine twin flame connection involves being able to be your authentic self without fear of judgment. You can be open at the soul level. If the community doesn’t allow for that same openness to explore and question - then it’s failing the very principles it claims to protect. You’re right that people going through an awakening need support. When someone is just discovering these concepts, they’re in a vulnerable place spiritually. Running into someone who seems welcoming but turns out to be harsh and critical - that can push people away entirely.
Those of us who’ve been at this for a while should be holding space, not holding court.
I went through a long journey to get where I am with my own path. I felt like I learned a lot and had a lot I could offer others. Immediately got yelled at and threatened for answering a question.
People forget that the connection is supposed to make you feel like you’ve finally found home. The whole point is spiritual growth, encouraging each other to be more complete in our own right. Not tearing people down because their experience doesn’t match some arbitrary template or your own ideas about what it is or should be.
The money angle plays into this, too. There are coaches and ‘teachers’ charging thousands for courses, and some of them have a vested interest in keeping people confused and dependent. They gatekeep information to keep you coming back. It’s easier to control a community when there’s an inner circle of ‘true’ believers.
Most of the people trying to gatekeep just seem to be repeating some idea they’ve paid for, but they spit it out as fact. If you ever actually ask them where they got this from, they don’t have an answer. Just yesterday, I saw someone screaming at someone in the comments section about twin flames not having anything to do with romance ever. Where do you get this stuff? Who are you to decide that nobody can ever be romantic with your twin flame?
Your experience is your experience. The feeling of familiarity, the synchronicities, the way the outer world disappears when you’re together - nobody else can tell you that’s not real. The signs are meant to guide you inward, not to be weaponized by randos on Instagram who decided they’re the authority.
The universe really does conspire when it’s genuine, but that kind of authentic connection is honestly pretty rare. A lot of people who haven’t experienced that real alignment end up trying to define it for others anyway.
I know some people believe in the idea of platonic twin flames, but for some reason, now it seems to be a trend to yell at people in the comment sections, twin flames have nothing to do with a relationship, you are your twin flame!!!
My assumption is they once thought it did, or were at least open to other people having that experience. But then, when they couldn’t have it, suddenly everyone else was wrong. They’re just sitting in a pit of ego they are never getting away from.
It literally doesn’t matter if someone is your TF or not. Either way, nobody gets a free pass to treat you badly or be abusive, ever. Your growth was real. The pain was real. Labels don’t change that. Gatekeeping someone’s connection just misses the entire point.
These people suck. I’m glad they’re not allowed here.
Fights and conflicts are perfectly normal and natural. And while I agree that we shouldn’t encourage them, they will always occur, sooner or later. It’s how we respond to them that matters.
And if this community’s response is to toss out people who have these disputes and disagreements, instead of helping resolve them and finding the root cause of their poor behaviour, then I don’t believe it’s a “sanctuary” at all. More like an exclusive “club”.
Missing the point entirely!
I’m going to stop now, because it’s clear there is far too much resistance, and my words are just falling on deaf ears.
I don’t tell people they’re wrong about their connection because, honestly, I can’t know that, and it’s not my place. But I know from my own path that it took real spiritual growth to recognize the difference between a soulmate, a first love, and my actual twin flame.
Gatekeeping always seems to come from clinging. When you move into complete surrender to your own twin flame path, other people’s labels and hierarchies just lose their power over you.
Just ignore them. Offer help to those asking, or just focus on your own journey. Let them complain among themselves.
IMO the worst gatekeeping happens in Facebook groups specifically. The admins there often have these rigid ‘twin flame checklists’ and if you don’t match every single point, your posts get removed or you’re told you’re delusional.
At least on forums like this one, there’s room for different experiences and stages of the path.
Something I notice (and I say this with love) is that the outrage at gatekeeping can sometimes keep us stuck in the same polarity as the gatekeepers. Re-centering on inner union work instead of endlessly debating who’s ‘in’ or ‘out’ tends to quiet the noise.
Practicing boundaries and self-worth when harsh comments come up helps more than treating them as verdicts on your connection.
Once you’ve had that real puzzle-piece connection with someone and worked through what it brings up about yourself, you can spot when content creators are just using ‘twin flame’ as a marketing hook to get your money.
Where they are in their lives really does determine a lot. When two people are on the same wavelength, they actually see each other clearly - just love recognizing love.
But the moment one person grows and the other stays stuck, suddenly that connection feels off and everyone’s an expert on who’s ‘real’ and who isn’t.
Nobody can really claim authority over how ‘real’ twins act. There’s no hard data on any of this - just beliefs, feelings, and guidance we trust comes from something bigger than us.
There’s no spiritual council out there handing out official twin flame certifications or validating anyone’s experiences. What matters is your own gut feeling and the work you’re doing on yourself, not whether some random person online approves of your connection.
I love that the staff remove bullies and people trying to prevent others from truth seeking.
A lot of the gatekeeping you see is projection and unprocessed wounding. If we read those posts while we’re wide open and ungrounded, we can take that on as truth about our own experience without even realizing it.
Setting clear intentions before scrolling (like ‘I only receive guidance aligned with my highest good’) and then clearing your energy afterward - breathwork, prayer, cord-cutting, journaling, whatever works for you - can make a difference in how much these attacks get to you.
